Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. Nintendo does, just so you know.
Chapter 5: Mech-Ah and the channels of power. AND THE CAPITALS OF POWER!
"Where could Mech-Ah possible be?" Ditto asked himself. "I am walking I these woods for a few hours."
"Looking for someone?" A rather large metal suit appeared from behind a tree. It was about 2.10 meters. "I bet you do." The lack of emotion in the voice made it clear to Ditto his search was over.
"I was looking for you. I need you to demorph someone." Ditto said to him.
"Hm… so team DarkStar is back on track ey? I shall come and destroyeth the beast of with theyth speaks of! Was that convincing?"
"If you put the heroic voice in I would give you the play."
"Yes… so… where is the guy?"
"Come with me."
Meanwhile at Alice and Jones.
"So you're sure you want to?" Alice asked him.
"Yes… for the sake of the children." He answered proud.
"BANSAI!!!" A voice yelled from outside. Mech-Ah poked with his fingers on several parts of Jones and jumped back. "WEIRD RANDOM JAPANESE TALK" He started to poke Alice as well in the same spots. "もうだめだ, 万事休す, しまった. (That's that)"
"I didn't know you spoke Japanese!" Ditto said surprised.
"私がと大いに旅すれば、他の言語を話さなければならない。(If you travel as much as I do, you must speak other languages.) By the way they should become normal in a few minutes."
The two Pokémorphs started to glow and turned into humans again!
"How the heck did you do that?"
"With the power of: POKéPINCH! The power to pinch off the not-natural chemicals stopping the person from being another shape."
"Why did you do that?" Alice asked sad and angry at the same time.
"Well… BANSAI!... eh… I wasn't told NOT to do it." Mech-Ah showed a little smile.
"We want to be Pokémon for the sake of our children!" Jones commented.
"Then I must use… POKéPOKE!"
"Poké-who?" Everybody asked.
"The returning of… THE POWER OF MORPHING. Which, when said, has an echo."
"ORPHING…PING…SAI…"
"Now… all I need is… DRAMATIC PAUZE AND SOUND AND MAN WITH DIDGERIDOO… a very hard to get… unbelievable… completely vague… astonishing… ORIGAMI!"
"Why do you need folded paper?" Diglett asked.
"Because my young grasshopper, never underestimate the power of the eastern people. Just like firework, origami is an ancient form of magic! When I use an origami paper shaped like… the unknown… never seen before… who knows why… a piece of morphing DNA."
"OMG! And fright! How do we get that? And why the Asian st00f?" The other said in choir.
"Simple… the author lives in Europe and wanted to use stuff from the other side of the world. That's why there is a man with a didgeridoo! And to get it you need to… cross the unthinkable… never touched before… virgin… hole of wet paper towels. No, no… that's for the sauna… I mean the… never heard ever… for your eyes only… amazing… magician."
"Magician?" Ditto asked.
"Yes, magicians can do magical things with paper." Mech-Ah started to move his hands in circles like mimes do. "You must look for the magician named Alpha Beta (CAMEO ALERT) and ask him to fold… A WET NEWSPAPER!"
"That would be REAL magic." Alice said amazed. "Wet newspapers are the only thing in the world that can't be folded without ripping it."
"And that's why it's needed to remorph you and to POKéPOKE you." Mech-Ah explained. "So, head to the carnival to blocks down the street and bring me a morphing piece of DNA, made of wet newspapers. And, you will have to do it… without your cloths… because they are dirty. But do not worry! I got these black stripes they use for… wait those are dirty too. Just use these…" He handed them two wedding outfits. (AN: By now you should realize Mech-Ah always makes funny comments and things.) "Now, a moment of… FRENCH: Oh Mon dieu, ILS ont tué Kenny!"
"Mech-Ah, you are the most chaotic person I know. And please, no more quotes." Ditto asked nicely. "Now run Alice, run Jones. And don't forget: Wenn Sie verlieren, STERBEN SIE! And of course, Mech-Ah would make that: Una morte horrible, lenta e dolorosa."
"Since you're tackling European languages, when does Dutch come? And Spanish, and Greek, and the half-Euro half-Asian world of Russia." Mech-Ah asked.
"Soon, real soon…" This line is said with a dark and airy voice.
A bit later, at the carnival.
"Hello… mister Alpha Beta?" Alice asked a man in a black suit. "Can you…"
"Ξέρω θέλετε ένα πράγμα DNA. (I know; you want a DNA thing)" He said.
"Why does he speak Greek?" Jones whispered to Alice.
"What do you think? Alphabet? Alpha and Beta? Both Greek characters?" He explained. "Give me wet newspapers, and you get what you want."
"You speak English?"
"Я говорю каждый одиночный язык там. (I speak every language there is)" He said. "There, the Russian sentence. Now, the Spanish line¡Va conseguirme esos periódicos de mierda! (Go and get me those (…) newspapers.)"
"And now we need the Dutch…"
"JUST GET THE PAPER! Go see Mech-Ah about the last line!"
A few hours later.
"We got it! The DNA origami thingy." Alice and Jones said in harmony.
"Perfect. Now… POKéPOKE!"
A thousand pokes later…
"We are Pokémon again." They said.
"Okay. Bye!"
"Wait! We still need the last European language!"
"Aw, screw you guys; I am going… eh… somewhere. Because… eh… I got no house… he he… " Mech-Ah said.
He jumped out of the door, which wasn't really that… eh… necessary. Ditto watched him leave in the forest.
"Ditto, can you say the Dutch line?"
"Screw you guys, I am taking a field trip to the museum." Ditto said pessimistic.
"Diglett?"
"Screw you guys, I am going to get a screwdriver." Diglett vanished.
"WHY MUST WE SCREW SO MUCH? WHY?"
"I can answer that delicate question."
"You're Sherlock Bones! The legendary translator, locator, archaeologist, detective and magician." Jones said with great admiring speech.
"Yes, and you must screw… because you are looking for… the missing line..."
Yes, the missing line. A few hours before this story was made… the unthinkable happened! An entire paragraph vanished from my script! Oomph! The sound effect, not the word for life.
"And now… the missing part of the story has to be found before… DRAMATIC SOUNDS… the two thousand word limit. We have 1800 words to go, so we must be careful with our action." Sherlock Bones explained with a British accent. "Listen up, the missing part is the Dutch line, and since you and the eggs are the only ones left, you will help me look. First off… the living room."
A few hours later. (AN: We must find it before the limit is reached.)
"Nothing… only this transcript saying: "Het moment dat je dit leest, moet het tot je door dringen dat je het verloren document gevonden hebt. DEBIEL!" And what could that mean?" Jones said.
"Well my dear fellow investigator… it means: "The moment you read this, you should understand you found the lost document. MORON!" You found the text! PARTY!"
And now for entertainment purposes only, I shall personally change the entire script to Dutch, making Mech-Ah freak out.
"OMG!" Mech-Ah said. "You can do anything but make this non-English!"
Aw, shut up. I am the author, the hero of you all! I declare if time should change! I change the way you speak! I can do all!
"Fight me, and I shall, and I must… defeat you!"
How dare you! Call the author out for a fight! I admire your luck, so I change your dialogue into… GERMAN!
"Was? Ich möchte Englisch sprechen!" Mech-Ah cried out. "Stoppen Sie dieses oder ich werde gezwungen, Sie zu töten!"
MHUHAHA! I enjoy this script. Perhaps I should change you into…
And who might you be? Get off of my chair! SHOE!
ARGH! Okay, I give up. I just wanted to improve the script!
Verschwinden Sie, Jetzt! All technical difficulties are fixed. Let's go on. Oh no, the entire script is… Russian, Dutch, Spanish and French together. Please hold…
Done. Now we return to Ditto, who just came back.
"Und I dann? Ich spreche noch Deutsches!" Mech-Ah complained. FIXED. "Thanks! BLINK"
"What did I miss?" Ditto asked the rest.
"Een boel chaos en een andere auteur."Jones explained. "OMG, ik spreek Nederlands. FIXEN!" DONE! "Okay then. What now?"
"According to the recent events… Part 7: Raising the Kids. Which should be interesting."
Now I fix the fourth wall and bring us to the far west… known to many as… the future. Yes, the farther you go to the west, the later it gets! A few weeks pass and Mech-Ah stays around the house, waiting to do his legendary POKéPINCH. The eggs hatch and spring is there.
The parents (Jones and Alice) guide the newborn Eevee's around the house.
"And that's the owner of the house, Mech-Ah." Jones explained happy.
"No, I'm not." He said. "Yo… oh… I mean yes I am."
The happy group of ten moved through the building, irritating Ditto.
"You leave me be or you die!" He shouted. "I am the main protagonist, and I still don't have a good thing to do."
Yes, he is the main protagonist. He is the sarcastic type. A perfect hero to stop… eh… something… oh I know… TEAM DARKSTAR!
"Ditto, do you ever wonder if this story is actually going to have the main hero do something? WINK BLINK"
"I don't know. Perhaps never, maybe next chapter. Or perhaps now, on a quest with his ally. That book your reading should be boring. Because you seem to be anxious to find out about the plot."
"You're right though. I really want to find out what he's going to do. They don't give him a name."
"My dear Mechie, that is a relationship advice book. Not a book with a plot."
"Oh, that's why they don't say names and there is tape included."
Mech-Ah threw the book through the window and walked to the bookcase. He scrolled through a few books, finding most of them are Japanese.
"Why…"
"Pokémon is made by Nintendo, which is Famicom which is Japanese. You can talk that language so stop whining." Ditto explained.
Mech-Ah grabbed one titled: 馬鹿である. (You are an idiot) He was reading a few pages before he found an image of himself, before discovering it was him. A small title was above it: 馬鹿 (The Idiot) he didn't bother and continued reading, then he found the page all have been waiting for.
"Since you got this far… the prophecy foretold that you are Mech-Ah… you shall travel with the main hero Ditto to the Test base and destroy team DarkStar… so be it…"
"AW, 性交… たわごと… 雌犬…尻の穴. (All words are swears.) I wanne be the hero!" Mech-Ah, "cried" out. "Not Ditto!"
"What did you find companion?" Ditto said heroic.
"I found the page that tells us to go to the Test Base and destroy team DarkStar! Read and shiver."
"Oh, then we shall go to theyth land of Sie DunkelStern! And we shall destroyeth Sie Vorherrschaft! And then we shall entfernen Sie Übermacht!"
"You're HIRED!" Mech-Ah said for fun.
"WOHOO!" Ditto yelled with joy.
And so beeth the story that Mech-Ah and Ditto travel across the oldest of lands. They went to the old land of DunkelStern/DarkStar to destroyeth the Superior forces and the… Übermacht. And if I stretch time long enough we should reach the 2000 limit… … any moment now… eleven more words… eight… seven… this is taking long… God may… DONE!
WOHOO! Next Chapter:
Hopefully no more other languages! Ditto goes adventure! Jones and Alice screw up on the kids! Diglett finds out something odd!
Don't forget the question from chapter 4,
Philosophical question: If this happened to you, what would you do? Stay with the children, never become human. Or become human, and leave the kids. Review and answer, also say WHY so I know why you want that.