Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. Nintendo does, just so you know.
"Mech-Ah, how did you become so chaotic? Whenever you appear… everything becomes psychedelic and colors shift." Ditto asked Mech-Ah.
"Like they say in Japan, Mech-Ahはそれをまたはない好むものは何でも、無秩序である。
Which means that I am chaotic, whatever you like it or not." Mech-Ah said. "Would you NOT be chaotic if you can't add that emotional TOUCH to it."
"I would think so… OH MY GOD! WHAT THE (…) IS THAT?" Ditto "pointed" at a squirrel, this sat on a log. "THAT'S A MUTATED PACHIRISU! WHAT HAPPENED TO IT? I SEEN…"
"Magic STFU…" Mech-Ah POKéPOKE'd the Ditto calming him down. "That Ditto is called a squirrel. Those things are normal and hunt man-eating nuts! They are…"
"MUTANTS! KILL THEM ALL!"
"Who is the chaotic one now? POKéPOKE!" A few more POKéPOKE's later. "Those things come from… Earth… omg… this is wrong… a bit too wrong… I can convince you it came with my ship?"
"I am afraid you can't. Man-eating nuts?"
"Yes, I hunted them on Earth, looking for the magical peanut butter lid closer! That thing is AWESOME DUDE!"
"Oh, really? I think I'll go pet it."
"I said they hunt MAN-eating nuts. They could kill ye!"
Ditto went tot the log and petted the little brown thing. Mech-Ah by nature, freaked out. Ditto did not notice but an actual man-eating nut crawled up to him. However because a lack of… man around it ate Pokémon.
"Watch out Ditto! It's a man/Pokémon-eating nut!" Mech-Ah shouted, but Ditto grabbed the squirrel and held it against the nut.
The brown mammal ate the nut with joy.
"Now we must answer the question… how did it came here?" Ditto wondered.
Brainstorming they continued their trip with the mammal they called Browny, since Ditto did not know what a squirrel was. They came with the option that DarkStar/DunkelStern was planning an interdimensional vortex! Browny ate more stuff-eating nuts, and Ditto made a fire… a forest fire.
Night 1
"Ditto, you start a fire. Browny, get some food. I'll make a camp for the night! And we shall call ourselves, Team Team Omega…" Mech-Ah explained.
"Why Team Team?" Ditto asked.
"Hello? On Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Blue, I called the team Team Omega. Later it turned out they put Team before the name so I had two Team in the name." Mech-Ah explained.
"Really clever of him."
"Who was that? Who said bad stuff about me!?"
"I did!" It was Browny!
"I understand him. That means that the language of Pokémon and animals are similar languages!" Ditto said surprised.
A few minutes later…
"Listen Team Team Omega, we only got a few hours of sleep before Dittos forest fire reaches us, SO GET TO SLEEP!"
A few hours later…
"Wake up!" Mech-Ah shouted, "Have to go!"
The rushing team Team Team Omega rushed to a metal contraption, standing in the middle of some trees. Inside were some animals.
"Mech-Ah, since you seen Earthly animals, what are those? And how do you say the name of the Four correctly?" Ditto asked Mech-Ah.
"Well… you got Mech, for the quick stuff. Mech-Ah for serious things, which overrules the quick stuff. And Mechie for friends that just want to make a joke. That is the Four's name basic. And that's a dog, a duck and a shark; misunderstood as thing that attack without cause which they don't; they only attack when someone harms them."
"Why would they be here? I would think that they could live here for long." Ditto said a bit down.
"I think we should eat them." Browny suggested.
"No! We shall not… oh my God this bird is sexually harassing me!"
"Mech-Ah, you have no organs! You explained that to everybody you are a single cell with morphing powers. You got no testicles of lungs, which make it hard to understand how you talk." Ditto explained.
"That can be true, which it is, but he is grabbing me in such a way that moving my legs would crush it. Tonight, we dine Earth style! With shark, duck and dog. CHINESE!"
过了一会儿…(A few moments later…)
"它怎么品尝？" Mech-Ah asked.
"位辣，但足够好。" Ditto replied.
"Hm，需要更多盐。" Browny said.
"更多盐？ 我得到了足够!" Mech-Ah confirmed. Mech-Ah 在Browny's 鸭子洒了一些盐。
"那是足够，感谢。"
After diner…
"Delicious. And so cultural." Ditto made a lot of gas escape. "Excuse me."
"Hihi!" Browny giggled. "Nice!"
"Well, then, we should go on!" Mech-Ah suggested.
The team Team Team Team Omega continued their route, and reached a base on which was written, Test Base Volunteers wanted.
"We reached it. Now… we… translate the stuff we said in Chinese.
"How does it taste?" Mech-Ah asked.
"Spicy, but good enough." Ditto replied.
"Hm, needs more salt." Browny said.
"More salt? I have enough salt!" Mech-Ah confirmed. Mech-Ah put some salt on Browny's duck.
"Thanks, that's enough."
Viola! That's it. Now…Ditto:
Philosophical question: If you were human once but became Pokémon and got kids. What would you do? Stay with the children, never become human. Or become human, and leave the kids.
If this applied to your life."
"I would choose to screw them. I rather stay the way I was." Ditto answered.
"Okay… how do we open this door?" Mech-Ah wondered.
"Well… we could use your complete randomness to destroy the door." These words made Ditto and Browny laugh.
BUT NOW WE RETURN TO THE PARENTS… HOW CAN THEY HANDLE THE TRUTH?
First the names: Spot, he is always where he should be. Speedy, the Eevee that doesn't understand how a chair works, if you get what I mean… Mech-Ah, named after Mech-Ah, because he always bothered him. Nameless, he doesn't say a word. Abacus, self-exploratory. First, always wants to be… eh… first. One-Liner, talks very little. Negi, the depressed one.
As Mech-Ah locked down the house the Eevee's, the Leafeon and the Flareon went into the wild with Diglett.
"When will we find a house mommy?" Spot asked.
"Soon enough…" Alice responded.
"I found one!" Jones walked to some bushes that hid an opening. "This cave is perfect."
"I found it!" Diglett complained. "It's my cave!"
"The only reason we took you Diglett is we needed someone to carry our stuff." Alice explained.
Diglett grumbled a bit, but then dropped two large sacks inside the cavern. He opened the sack showing some pillows and blankets and more. The irritated Diglett place them in some corners and left.
"I have done what you asked me to, so I am leaving." He said angry.
"Now… how do you live in the wild?" Alice asked Jones.
"I have no idea. I have brought the Pokéchow machine with us… so we could look for berries." Jones replied.
"And soooooo… the new Poké-parents started their lives… OOOOOOW!!! They are going to screw it all up before five's…"
"Who is that?" Jones asked.
"It's… MEEEEEE! The man known as Achme-Zeeee…" Achme-Ze sang.
"Why do you sing?" Alice wondered.
"Well BECAUSEEEEEEEEE… I do this for a funny fuzzzzzzz… and I likeeeeeee… to ride a one-wheel bikeeeee… SOOOOOOO… I am afraid that I cannot GOOOOO… HAHA!!!... you are stuck me hurrahaha!" He rhymed. "Now go on… I am the teller using sonnnngggg… now I tell the taleeee… and you look quite paleeeee… the author asked meeeeee… to do the telling for you and heeeee…"
"Wow! We got some to tell what we do." Jones said happy.
"Me being hereeeee… really made Jonsy cheeeeer…"
"Let's go look for berries hon."
And so the two went oooooffffff… forgetting to guard the fluffffffff… soon they will screw uuuuuup… cause they lost all the cuuuuuuub… go mister Didgeridoo!
Insert music here…
And when they came baaaaack… they were really going to whaaaack… OOOOOOW!!!... I am singing only for the shooow… OMG they are planning to hit meeeee… and I am only Achme-Zeeeee… so where is Omega-Meeeee… he should be doing this instead of meeeee… And if you wonder how I sing, first, I go hiiiiiiigh… then I do it loooooow… now lets get on with the shooooow…
"Where are the children?" Jones asked Alice. But Alice was crying.
And why she criiiieeed… I don't know whyyyyyyyyy… perhaps she was a bad pareeeeeent… because she was not thereeeeeeeeent…
"Why aren't they here? We asked them to stay inside…" Alice cried out.
But from everybody's siiiiiiiight… they were with Diglett in the street liiiiight… they were going inside… so they could hiiiiiiide…
"I was thinking you didn't want to stay in the wild." Diglett said. "I happen to know were Mech-Ah hid the key."
"I didn't hide the key." Mech-Ah said.
"NO! Not you. Mech-Ah's CH is with the Dutch g. Your CH sounds like a g in omega. Anyway he hid them under… the… hedge."
A few minutes later, trying to open the door.
"We're tired, we are going to bed." The Eevee's said.
"Sure… I am just going to get some food." Diglett said understanding. He went to the kitchen and looked for some food.
Diglett found some foooood… though he didn't quite understooooood…
"Delicious." Diglett said munching some cookies. "Mmmmm… what's this?" Diglett saw a tiny book, which was placed on top of a plate. He jumped over to iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit… seeing it was sealed with a liiiiiiiiiid… oh wait. This isn't the wild, sorry. "Weird… a book made by someone named "Jack" about genetical changes that appear when using Cave of Shape liquid." Diglett started reading it, finding out about Jack, as this was his log.
Inside were things about letters from team DarkStar, and strange stuff about something he called Earth.
Back to Ditto…
"I think I hear someone mumbling stuff at the other side." Mech-Ah said with his helm against the door.
"I don't think so. Those clean doors and shiny metal plates are saying this place is empty! What do you think?" Ditto responded sarcastically. "Just open the door!"
Mech-Ah started tackling the doors, which weren't made for a sudden impact.
"I expected a place called Test Base to have heavy metal doors. Seems they had a budget cut."
"Likely… but it seems to me you are just strong." Ditto said.
Inside a man was hanging over a thin metal pole, this is not the best way to hang.
"Can you help me? I am hanging here for an hour." He said desperate.
Ditto was climbing up the wall when the pole broke; making the man hit the ground hard.
"I'd give it 6. But only if he gets lost." Mech-Ah said.
And so be it, as the man got up and left the room. As Ditto watched him leave, he got down the wall again to ask a question.
"Where do we go? I don't see any directions!" Ditto said grumpy, but then Mech-Ah pointed at some odd signs on the wall. On them were Japanese characters.
"AGAIN?" Browny asked himself. "I am beginning to think I ended up in Japan."
誘拐された人 One sign said.
Another said: その側面は上がらないまたは死んでいる。
Then there was one saying: よい賭け、しかし不正確に。
Mech-Ah looked at one saying: 被保険者、遅く、苦痛完全および死んでいる馬鹿。
"Let's take: 被保険者、遅く、苦痛完全および死んでいる馬鹿。Sounds like the good one." Mech-Ah suggested.
"Doesn't that mean: "Insured, slow, painful and idiotic death"?" Ditto asked.
"No! Under it stands: 行くあなたの意志はこれらを取らない! Which means: Take this road. And it says: これが読むかどれを狂気および完全に行である。That means it is totally safe."
"Doesn't that mean: "Do not take this road". And the second means: "If you read this you are crazy, and you're going to meet certain death.""
"Who is that man that seen Earth? Who is the man that speaks all possible languages? Who has been to Tokyo? I AM!" Mech-Ah bragged. "So we take the road to the RIGHT!"
"If they listen to me they could have heard the signs say: Kidnapped person, don't go that way or you're dead, Good guess, but wrong. In that order." Browny commented.
The group reached another split, two directions.
プロット (The Plot) Going left and: 遅く、苦痛でくだらなな死。(The slow, painful and idiotic death.)
"I say right." Mech-Ah suggested.
"No, the left side goes to the plot. We need the plot." Ditto said.
"No, that one says… eh… oh yeah… Dead end."
"Nope, dead end is: 端の端へ来ること, not that."
Ditto and Mech-Ah burst into a battle of which side is right, this is a confusing title. "
"左! (Left)" Ditto yelled!
"右に! (Right)" Mech-Ah shouted.
Browny was not planning to wait and went left, finding a plotting device. Yes, it had "Plotting Device" written on it. It looked like a metal cylinder, with several holes.
OH MY GOD! I WRITTEN OVER 2000 WORDS! Ending now!
Next chapter: What is the plotting Device? When will Ditto and Mech-Ah stop Ditto-and-Mech-Ahing each other. Will Alice and Jones ever get the faintest idea were the Eevee's could be? What about Diglett? He is now a godfather. Because you have to be a god to take care of eight Eevee's while having no arms.