All That Remains

Chapter 4

True to his word, Dish shaved off his moustache. A week after the proposal he volunteered to collect supplies from Ogallala, though Clara had not long made a trip to town. He returned with the mail, a new jacket and a freshly shaven face. The girls were playing with Martin on the porch when he walked up from the stables. Sally gasped when she saw him, unprepared for how different he looked, and thinking him even more handsome than before. Her longing only grew when he flashed her a smile and ran a hand down either side of his face.

"What d'you think?" he asked.

Sally only blushed in response but Betsey complimented him.

"Is your Ma around… and Lorie?" Dish asked casually, though his throat almost constricted on his future wife's name. His anticipation of her reaction had grown steadily during the journey back from Ogallala.

"Ma! Dish is back!" Betsey yelled from where she stood.

Clara emerged from the house wiping her hands on a rag, and broke into an instant grin when she saw him. Without the shaggy walrus moustache to dominate his features, Dish looked several years younger. Her smile faded when she was struck by the thought that her eldest boy would have only been half a dozen years younger than Dish had he lived. She was reminded again of the terrible loss she carried within her that continued to surface without warning, even after so many years.

"It was Lorie's idea," Dish said even though Clara had refrained from commenting on his lack of moustache.

"I heard." Clara accepted the mail he offered her but did not return to the house. Clara and the children watched with amusement as Dish toed the ground agitatedly.

Clara felt a twinge of pity for him. It was clear he only cared about one person's reaction. She took a few steps backwards and opened the screen door to call for Lorena.

She took her time responding. When she did she stayed on the doorstep, annoyed at the way they were all staring at her.

"What?" Lorena mumbled.

"Dish is back from town," Clara said, tilting her head in his direction.

"I see that."

Lorena glanced only briefly at Dish, noting the change that made him look boyish, but refusing to give any of them the satisfaction of a surprised or pleased reaction. She cared little for this gesture, which she'd only demanded out of spite. She was also angry at the way her indifference seemed to wound him, as he stared at her with an eager expression. Lorena knew he was waiting for her to comment, but she wasn't about to fulfill his wish.

Dish waited several long moments in case she decided to say something or maybe even smile, but she did neither. Disappointed, he touched his fingers to his hat brim.

"I'd best get back to work," he said, and trudged off in the direction of the stables.

"Don't Dish look handsome, Lorie?" Betsey prompted, unaware of her intentional silence on the matter.

Lorena didn't even shrug. "I didn't notice."

"Girls, you go on in the house now. Supper'll be ready soon," Clara instructed.

Lorena held the door open for them as Sally led Martin inside. She glanced at Clara and suspected she had more to say on her lack of response to Dish, so Lorena followed behind the children to avoid her. Clara shook her head, amused. She turned back to watch Dish slouch across the yard.

"Dish? Hold up," she called out.

He stopped in his tracks, his shoulders slumping further when he saw she was alone. Clara caught up with him quickly.

"Thank you for the collecting the mail," she said unnecessarily.

Dish didn't reply, his eyes trained on the house and any sign of Lorena. Disappointment filled his face, but nothing Clara could say would change that – it was only in Lorena's power.

"I've been thinking, Dish," she said instead, "you'll be married soon. And, maybe in time, you'll have a family of your own."

Dish blushed. The skin where his moustache had been was paler than the rest of his face so the color was even more pronounced. The idea still sounded so foreign to him, not least because he was marrying Lorena after hoping for nothing else for so long.

"How would you feel about taking on more responsibility around here?" She eyed him sharply, searching for any indecision in his expression, but Dish only looked surprised. "Cholo's getting on in years and July…"

"July's been here longer'n me," Dish finished for her, but Clara shook her head.

"July's no top hand and you know it," Clara said bluntly. "I'd like you to help Cholo – learn about being a foreman. You reckon you can do that?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said eagerly.

"You'll get an extra $5 a month. How does that sound?"

"Well, that sounds just fine, Mrs. Allen," Dish said, embarrassment turning his ears red under his hat.

Clara thrust out her hand and shook his firmly, which surprised Dish even more. Clara Allen was like no other woman he'd ever met.

"That's settled then." Clara began to walk away, but after a few steps she turned around and looked at him thoughtfully. "Be patient with her, Dish. And be kind."

Dish did not hesitate in replying, and did not have time to feel uncomfortable about the personal nature of her request. "I will, ma'am."

Clara only hoped Lorena would do the same for him. She doubted it, but there was no point talking Dish out of loving her or wanting her, Clara knew that much. She smiled sadly and made her way back to the house.