Chapter 5

"No one's going to notice us." Lily told him as they sought their way to the stairs. "Everyone's preoccupied at the moment."

"I think we'd be safer with the charms back on -"

"No." Lily said forcefully. "I don't like it, I don't like not being able to see you. It's weird." She sidestepped some fallen rubble, he jumped over more, and both wondered just how long it had taken to restore this mess into the castle they knew.

He lapsed into silence, close to sulking, as they hurried down the stairs.

"One quick look, remember." She told him, jumping over the bottom three steps. "Then we find our way home. I don't want to be here anymore."

"Teddy, I don't wanna go to the Malfoy's house." Lily whined.

"Come on, Lily, it's only for a few minutes." Teddy told her. "I just need to pick up my broom, and then we'll go."

She sighed loudly, but agreed.

Teddy, nineteen now, flashed her a smile.

"That's my girl. I'll be really quick, I promise."

She waited in the hallway while he and Draco went to get his broom.

"Mum, where's my - oh." Scorpius had hurtled down the stairs, but stopped and silenced when he saw her. "What are you doing here?"

"Teddy's getting his broom." Lily replied flatly. She'd already forgotten how much she'd liked him a few years before, and in her irritation she eyed him wearily. "I didn't want to come here."

"Oh. Why?"

She blinked, startled by the question, and shrugged. "I just...I just don't want to be here." She replied finally.

"That's OK." He told her, with an almost shy smile. "Sometimes I don't want to be here, either."

She smiled, slightly confused, and he couldn't help but smile back.

Scorpius sent her a sideways look, wondering if she remembered that day. Really, now he thought about it, they'd had more encounters than he'd thought. And really, now he remembered them, he realised he liked her more than he'd thought.

"I don't want to be here, either." He murmured, and she looked at him with something close to confusion on her face.

"Deja vu." She mumbled, then almost tripped over yet more falling rubble. He caught her arm to stop her falling, and kept hold of it as they ran down the marble staircase. There were a few people scattered around the entrance hall, but as Lily had predicted, no one paid them any attention, far too preoccupied with transferring bodies into the great hall.

Lily forced herself not to look; Scorpius couldn't tear his eyes away.

They exited the castle and paused, looking around carefully, unsure if Voldemort's Death Eaters were still in the grounds. It appeared deserted, however, and they started towards the forest, slowly, cautiously.

Then Lily caught sight of something on the floor, and felt the bile rise in her throat as she stopped walking, unable to move, unable to look away from the bundle on the floor.

It was a girl - Scorpius judged her as around his own age. She'd never see her next birthday.

She was clearly dead, her eyes wide open and staring, horror clearly fixed upon her white, white face. There was nothing peaceful about her; she was laid awkwardly, crumpled to the floor, bearing the burns and cuts of the battle. The killing curse itself had left no mark; just an empty look in her eyes.

"Lily." Scorpius said softly, and tugged at her arm. "Lily - come on - let's go -"

She couldn't look away, couldn't move. She was trying, trying to close her eyes and block it out, but she couldn't. She'd never seen death before, never seen a body crumpled on the ground. She'd thought it was bad to hear her uncle's death, to be so close, but this...

"Lily." Scorpius said, more forcefully, and pulled her roughly away from the lifeless body. She didn't fight him, just let him lead her away, knew he was picking his way around more bodies. She finally managed to close her eyes, and struggled to fight the sickness that was rolling over her.

She wasn't aware that she was clinging to the front of his robes until he stopped walking; and yet she couldn't let go.

"It's OK." He murmured to her. "Lily...you're OK..."

"Feel sick." She mumbled, her eyes still closed, as though that alone could erase the horror. "She was dead."

"I know." He said weakly. "There's nothing we can do for her, Lily." He looked down at her, the deathly pale skin and tightly shut eyes.

"I know." She nodded, opening her eyes and meeting his. "Just let's - let's get in the forest, see him, and go."

"OK. Come on." She took a few deep breaths as they made their way closer to the forest, and steadied herself, which turned out to pointless, as the next body they came across was much, much worse.

The young boy looked almost inhuman now, with his face and robes torn and bloody, a whole sleeve missing, revealing the tattered remains of his arm - the dark skin was covered in blood, with large chunks of flesh clearly bitten off. His eyes and mouth were wide open - he had evidently died screaming. Unable to tear his gaze away, Scorpius was barely aware of Lily pulling away from him, staggering off to the side, as he wondered if this death was the work of Greyback the werewolf.

It was the sound of Lily retching that tore his attention from the broken body; he turned to see her clutching a large rock with one hand, and she threw up, bent double and trying to keep her hair from her face. He walked over in silence, gathered up the long red locks and waited while she was violently sick.

It subsided; she straightened up, wiping her face on her sleeve, pale and shaking, her breathing laboured and uneven.

"You alright?" He asked her, and was unsurprised when her temper spiked.

"Of course I'm not alright." She snapped, an undisguisable tremor in her voice. "I'm never going to be alright, you idiot. Did you not see the guy? Did you not see the bloody mess that his face had become? Didn't you see the bite marks?"

"Yes, I did." He replied calmly, still fighting his own nausea, his stomach threatening to imitate Lily's.

"Well, I'm sorry I can't stay as cool as you, Malfoy." She snapped, and it was the use of his surname rather than the bite in her voice that he noticed. "Some of us can't look at something like that, someone who was practically eaten alive, and still stay completely composed. Some of us are going to see that poor mess in our dreams for years. But, of course, Draco's little prince is untouchable."

She lowered herself shakily to sit on the very same rock she'd used for support, and lay her face in her hands. Tears were silently tracking down her face, had been all through her outburst, though Scorpius didn't think she was aware of it.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled finally, without looking up. "I didn't mean any of it. I just..."

"I know." He replied.

"I lost it." She murmured.

"I know. I would've too, if you hadn't." He said softly, and she finally looked up at him, in confusion. "It's easier to hold yourself together when you're trying to support someone else." He shrugged. The "are-you-okay?" question, the one that people often asked despite cleare vidence to the contrary, was on the tip of his tongue before he caught himself.

"Oh. OK." Lily took a few more deep breaths, then stood. "Come on, let's go. Hopefully we won't find any more..."

"Forget about Voldemort." He sighed. "We'll just try and find our way back -"

"No." She met his gaze. "We came here to see. So let's go."

"Are you sure?" He asked, knowing he should protest more. But he wanted to see Voldemort, wanted this experience, and the look in her hazel eyes told him arguing would be fruitless.

"Yes. But I think we better put the charms back on before we go into the forest. I don't have a death wish." She told him dryly, and he smiled at her, before taking out his wand. She felt the charm, and seized his hand before he cast it on himself, so they wouldn't lose each other.

Unseen, they hurried towards the forest. "Which way?" Scorpius whispered as they entered, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"Why don't we follow the path the spiders carved out here?" She muttered, and pulled him towards the broken trees and trampled undergrowth the spiders had left when they'd joined the fight.

They slowed as they followed the path, freezing every time one of them broke a twig, or stumbled, terrified the noise would bring Death Eater's to investigate, and well aware that they could die, right here.