Chapter 2

Safe

Aaron couldn't sleep. He held Spencer close to him through the dark hours. Spencer slept soundly, his breathing a gentle rhythm. There were no tears, his body didn't shake with heaving sobs. He slept like a child in Aaron's arms.

It was Aaron who shed tears that night. As he held Spencer against his chest, he thought of all the times that Spencer had come up with the information that cracked the case, times when he, Aaron had been impatient with him and not fully understood him. He never imagined this would happen, that he would be lying here in his bed with Spencer in his arms.

Aaron snuggled closer to him. His left arm was numb, but he didn't want to move it for fear of waking him.

This amazing feeling he had, lying next to him, he would never want to disturb.

Aaron watched the square of the window lighten as the sun came up. The sky changed from black to a deep blue to soft blue.

He hoped that with his help, Spencer would also come out of the blackness he was in.

His coming to Aaron in the night was a wonderful sign that he was ready to accept help. Aaron was ready to give it.

The sun was high in the sky when Spencer moved. Aaron slid his arm out and grimaced in agony as a million needles jabbed him. He couldn't help a little yelp of pain. Spencer turned over and looked up at him with those wide eyes.

Aaron had never noticed how stunning they were before.

How could I have missed that?

"It's ok, Spence. You are at my house." Aaron said gently. "I want to take care of you until you are better."

Spencer moved up the bed until his face was level with Aaron's. Spencer looked into Aaron's eyes for a moment, then leaned forward and kissed him.

Aaron was a little hesitant at first, but then he kissed him back. Spencer's arms went around Aaron, and held him tightly. Aaron's breathing became shuddery as he pressed his face into Spencer's neck, and felt Spence do the same.

He felt gentle soft kisses on his neck. Aaron put a hand on the back of Spencer's head, his fingers in his hair, and held him.

Aaron's body trembled with a new emotion, something that he had never felt before. He was shocked at its power. He shook with fear of this energy as it took hold of him, this man evoking in him a response he never thought was possible.

Aaron groaned within himself as his emotional safety barrier was ripped away, and Spencer stepped over the wreckage into his heart.

Aaron let the tears fall, as to try to prevent them would be to deny what he was feeling. He sobbed and cried and held Spencer.

Spencer pulled away and touched Aaron's tears with his finger tips. He kissed the tears away, and laid his head on Aaron's chest.

Aaron put one hand in Spencer's hair, and the other on his back, pulling the quilt to cover Spencer's thin body. He stared at the ceiling, tears flowing freely, wetting his hair, wondering why this was happening to him.

It seemed like hours that they lay like this, Aaron being afraid to move lest he break the spell. He felt warm and wonderful with Spencer so close.

It was late afternoon when Spencer moved again. He slowly sat up and looked down at Aaron lying next to him. Aaron reached up and brushed Spencer's hair away from his face.

Spencer smiled at him.

Aaron felt overwhelmed. Spencer touched Aaron's face, the almost dry tears, and bent forward and kissed his mouth.

Aaron put his arms around him, closed his eyes and returned the kiss.

Spencer pulled away.

"Thank you, Aaron."

"Oh Spence! What are you doing to me?" Aaron's voice was choked and afraid and overjoyed that Spencer had spoken to him.

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A little later, they went downstairs to the kitchen. Aaron made coffee while Spencer sat at the table and watched. Aaron gave Spencer his coffee and the sugar, and watched as Spence added his own.

Each little thing was a step forward.

Aaron sat opposite Spencer and reached across to take his hands. Spencer looked up.

"Spence, I need to talk to you." Aaron was finding putting his feelings into words more difficult than he ever imagined it could be. "Spence, I'm falling for you. I'm falling in love with you." Aaron felt tears in his eyes again as he struggled to find the right words, while not upsetting Spence. He blinked them away. A tear escaped and rolled down his cheek. Spencer touched it.

"I love you too, Aaron."

Aaron went round the table and Spencer stood up.

"Let's go out, Spence. Let's just walk."

Spencer laughed and went to the door.

Aaron laughed too. He looked at Spencer's PJ bottoms on his bony hips, and his too small jacket.

"Let's get dressed first, Spence. We can't go out like this!" He stepped towards Spencer, and undid his top, slid it off his thin arms onto the floor. He bent down and kissed his shoulder.

"Or we could stay in and I'll do a pizza. We can open a bottle of wine, and get tipsy."

Spencer nodded. He didn't speak, but his eyes were shining; huge hazel eyes shining with a new life that hadn't been there before.

Spencer chose a DVD while Aaron put a pizza in the oven.

Safe food. As long as he didn't burn it, it would be safe to eat.

He opened some wine and got two glasses out. He took the food and wine into the living room, and gave Spencer a glass of wine, and Spencer helped himself to pizza.

Spencer had chosen 'Edward Scissorhands'. Aaron put it in the machine and sat down. Spence was sitting in the corner of the sofa; Aaron lay down and rested his head on his lap. He pointed the remote and pressed play.

Aaron didn't watch much of the movie. He was watching Spence.

He was still in shock after the night before. He wondered how he ever thought he was happy with Haley.

Those feelings never came close to what he was feeling now.

Spencer had a hand on Aaron's head, caressing his hair absently.

Aaron fell into a deep contented sleep full of beautiful dreams.