Chapter 3

New Life

The next morning when Aaron woke up, the sun was sending a beam of golden early morning light across the bed. Spencer's hair was catching the rays, reflecting soft auburn tones. Aaron was dazzled by the newness of what he was seeing, still unable to come to terms with being so in love with another man. He would never have thought it possible.

He had seen Spencer every day for years now, and yet his beauty was for some reason hidden from him. He tried to remember how he used to see him, but he couldn't. Those old feelings were lost to him, and replaced with something he was not able to understand. He remembered Spencer describing love as a chemical change. He laughed to himself. Chocolate and peas! He had told Spencer to stop, but he had laughed about it later. He could be so funny. He smiled at the memory.

He touched Spencer's hair softly, almost as if to prove that he really was lying here with hid head on his chest. He combed his fingers through the long waves, marvelling at how his hair curled back into his neck. He noticed that his fingers were shaking as he stroked Spencer's hair; shaking with fear that this wasn't real, and confusion. He couldn't understand what this lovely young man was doing to him, baffling his senses, mystifying him.

He laid quite still, his fingers still caressing Spencer's hair. He stared at the ceiling, and thought of how life would be if he could have Spencer as his own, if they could belong to each other. He had no idea of how far this could go.

He thought back to time when Spencer had been kidnapped by Tobias Hankel, and he had been afraid for Spencer's life.

He thought of how he had bent down to help him to his feet, and he remembered what Spencer had said,

"I knew you'd understand." And the feel of Spencer's arms around him.

The ridiculous pang of jealousy when he hugged JJ...

He remembered that he hadn't wanted to let go of him, he was so relieved to get him back in one piece. Or he thought he was in one piece at the time.

Then the heart breaking fight against the addiction, and everyting that went along with that.

He had been surprised and pleased that Spencer had come to him and not Gideon. Spencer said it was because Gideon would have been disappointed in him. But he thought there was more to it. Since that time, Spencer had confided in him on a few occasions.

And now, this.

Aaron wanted to draw him close, press his slim boyish body hard against his own, but he didn't want to wake him.

The moment was too precious.

Slowly the beam of light moved from his hair down his back, highlighting each little bone in his spine. Aaron ran his fingers down the row of bumps, finding great pleasure in doing it, and not understanding why.

Everything about him he was finding amazing.

Spencer stirred, and pressed his face into Aaron's warm skin, putting his arms around his chest and holding him. Aaron let out a shuddering sigh of pleasure and closed his eyes.

"Oh Spence! This is incredible...What's happening to me?"

Spencer looked up at Aaron, lying so still, holding him close. He was a lovely man. Spencer was finding it strange that the man he thought of as his boss, and someone he was in awe of, should invite him to share his bed. He had told him that he was falling in love with him. Until Aaron had voiced his feelings, Spencer had been unable to identify his own. It wasn't until Aaron said the words, that Spencer had realised that that was what he was feeling too.

Whatever was happening to Aaron was happening to him too.

And here he was. Lying in bed with him, his arms around him, falling in love with him.

He thought back to 'physics magic'. Even then, Aaron had a twinkle in his eye that seemed to be reserved for him alone.

Yes, Spencer loved him. And he felt a childish urge to carve it on a tree.

Maybe he would later!

Very carefully, he slipped under Aaron's arms and out of the bed. Aaron had fallen back to sleep and he stirred, reaching out for him in his sleep. Spencer looked down on his face, so open and relaxed, eyes closed, head back. He put a hand on the pillow each side of his head and kissed his mouth.

Aaron put one hand on Spencer's back, another in his hair, and held him, and kissed him deeply, groaning with pleasure and surprise. Spencer pressed his lips to Aaron's never wanting the kiss to end.

"I love you." He whispered, as he softly touched Aaron's cheek with his, and kissed his neck and gently kissed his ear lobe. Aaron gasped and moaned and held him tight. Spencer collapsed onto Aaron and he felt Aaron's ragged breathing.

Gently, he kissed Aaron, running his fingers through his short dark hair, watching how it caught the light and shone with a blue-black glow. Slowly, he felt Aaron's breathing return to normal.

Aaron put his hands on Spencer's face and held him level. His dark eyes looked into the depths of Spencer's soft hazel ones.

There was so much he wanted to say to Spencer, but the words to describe how he felt hadn't been invented yet. So instead he pulled his face down and kissed his (incredibly sweet little) nose.

He rolled Spencer onto his back, so that now he was looking down on him. He brushed the back of his finger across Spencer's lips, and smiled down at him.

"What would you like to do today, Spence?"

"I would like to carve your name on a tree." Spencer said.

Aaron felt tears well up in his eyes. What a lovely thing to say.

He had wondered if this was the right thing for Spencer, to bring him home with him, and care for him. . Spencer had not been able to speak two days ago. But the change in him was wonderful, and they had found something special.

"Ok, Spence, Sweetheart. That's what we will do."

One of his tears fell onto Spencer's cheek and he watched as it ran down the side of his face into his hair. Spencer reached up and wiped the tears off Aaron's face with the back of his hand.

"You're crying!"

"Happy tears." said Aaron."You've done that for me..."