Chapter Three: It's All Fun and Games

It may have taken a while, but General Mustang, with the help of Hawkeye and her pistol, had finally gotten his excitable staff to calm down and get back to work. Which left him free to grill Alphonse, and, to a certain extent, Fullmetal about what had happened in the last year. During the conversation Mustang made sure to avoid words such as "shrimp" and "pipsqueak" that bite had drew blood.

'What do you plan to do now?' Mustang inquired of Al.

'Hopefully find away to get brother back to normal,' Al answered, somewhat daunted by how exactly they were going to do that.

Ed heard the quiet sadness in his brother's voice and struggled to back out from behind the bookcase, when was the last time Mustang cleaned behind here? Shaking cobwebs from his whiskers, he made his way towards Al. With a lithe leap, he was up on Mustang's desk. Ignoring the paperwork that seemed to be a permanent fixture, Ed sat and started intently at his brother, wondering what to do.

Al smiled sadly and shifted his face closer to Ed, who started to purr softly and reached out his left paw to pat Al on the cheek.

The sadness disappeared from Al's face and his eyes started to sparkle in a way that made Ed nervous. He started to back away, but wasn't fast enough.

'Aw, brother!' Al cried, grabbing Ed and half choking him in a death hug, 'You're just too cute!'

'ARRR! Mustang you smug bastard, stop smirking and help me!' Ed yowled desperately, reaching out a paw towards Mustang imploringly.

Mustang stared at the spectacle before him with amusement; he didn't think he would ever see the day when Edward Elric would beg him for help.

'Damn you to hell bastard!' Ed cursed when Mustang's shoulders started to shake from suppressed laughter.

'I'm sorry brother, but I couldn't help myself,' Al was trying to explain to his irate brother as Havoc drove them to the Hughes' house, Gracia had kindly offered to let them stay with her while they were in Central.

Havoc kept glancing in the rear view mirror; it was hard, despite what he'd seen, to think of the little gold cat as Edward Elric. It was more than a little disconcerting hearing Al talk to it as if the creature could understand and talk back.

Ed was currently ignoring Al. He was seething. It was bad enough that he was a cat, that they needed the bastard's help but to have his own brother strip him of what little dignity he had left, to make him beg that bastard for help. He, the Fullmetal Alchemist, beg Brigadier General Roy Mustang for help? Only to have the son of a bitch laugh at him? This called; no demanded revenge.

Al knew that talking to Ed would result in blood and wisely held his tongue. Just because his brother was now a cat didn't mean he wasn't dangerous.

'Here we are, boys' Havoc called to the two in the back, hesitating briefly over 'boys'

'Thankyou Havoc,' Al smiled as he got out.

'The General wants you two to come by tomorrow and we'll see if we can sort something out,'

Both Al and the cat nodded. Havoc gulped and quickly drove off. Ed hissed a little, insulted.

'Don't worry brother; this kind of thing is rather hard to wrap your head around...' Al explained, knocking on the door.

'Easy for you to say, Al, you're not a cat!' Ed grumbled as the door opened.

'Hello Al, it's been quite a while,' Gracia smiled warmly at Al.

With a happy chirp, Ed found himself twining around Gracia's legs, purring like mad. This wasn't the Gracia from Germany who sold flowers, but Mrs. Hughes, the wife of a dear friend, the woman who threw him a party when he was twelve, the woman who's baby he'd "helped" deliver...

'Oh! You've finally got a cat I see, Al.' Gracia laughed, 'Maes told me about the last one you found in East City,'

'Yeah, though this one is going to be around for quite awhile,'

Gracia raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything; she just moved to let Al and his happy cat inside.

'Elysia, dear, come and see who's paying us a visit,' Gracia called out. Within moments a bright eyed seven year old (a/n just a stab in the dark) appeared, she let out a squeal as her eyes landed on Ed. He only had time to gulp before he was scooped up into yet another death hug.

'Eeee! He's so cute!' Elysia squealed, 'Is he yours Al?'

Al smiled and nodded.

'What's his name?

'Ah...' Al stalled 'I... haven't named him yet,'

'Can I name him?' Elysia started to bounce, jolting Ed.

'I'm going to get a headache if this keeps up,' Ed mewed to no one in particular.

'Please?' Elysia turned her puppy dog eyes on Al.

He didn't stand a chance, 'Okay then, you can name him,'

Ed gave Al a horrified look; this wasn't going to end well.

Elysia shifted her hold on Ed so she could look at his face, her seven year old mind not comprehending the look of sheer terror on the cat's face.

'I'm going to call you... MUFFIN!' Elysia declared.

The room was dead silent.

'That's a great name Elysia,' Al praised.

'Don't encourage her!' Ed yowled squirming out of Elysia's grip.

'Muffin, come back!' Elysia ran after "Muffin" who promptly shot under the couch. 'Muffin come out and play!' Elysia knelt on the floor by the couch trying to catch a glimpse of the allusive cat.

'Would you like something to drink, Al?' Gracia offered.

'Yes please, Mrs Hughes.' When Ed escaped Elysia, Al knew his life wouldn't be worth living.