Chapter 4: How bout some awkward with that silence

Disclaimer:- nothing is mine, sad, so very sad

A/N:- 2 chapters in one day, gotta say don't know how that happened. well here it is, clark and lana talk but you know how she hangs around long after you wish she was gone. anyhoo...

Chapter 4: How bout some awkward with that silence?

Breakfast was awkward, more than awkward as they sat around the table struggling to make conversation around the breakfast Clark had made (eggs to keep Lois out of the kitchen). Lois kept shooting Clark looks that clearly said he should be the one to fix things. Clark was shooting Chloe looks that were quite loudly saying she could have warned him she was bringing Lana and while Chloe was trying to ignore it all Lana sat quietly sending furtive looks at anyone who happened to make a move.

'Well breakfast was great,' Lois announced dropping her plate into the sink. 'Too bad I gotta go. Smallville, I need a ride.'

Grateful for any excuse to leave the heavy silence behind Clark stood. In what had to have been a world first Chloe was faster to get to her feet.

'I'll drive you!' she said a little too eagerly. 'We can catch up.'

'Great.' Lois didn't really care who took her home she just wanted out. She was feeling a strange twinge that may or may not have been guilt, the jury was still out on whether or not she needed to feel guilty the way things were between Clark and Lana at the moment.

'Lana it was nice seeing you.'

Before Clark could form any kind of protest Lois was herding Chloe out the door. With a sigh Clark settled in for what was bound to be a repeat of every conversation he and Lana had had over the last month. Clark decided he didn't want to give her the chance to get in and rehash it all.

'Look Lana, I know things between us aren't going the way we would have liked but you can't force me into something I'm not ready for. There are some things I'm not ready to tell you and if you force it, if you base our whole relationship on this one thing then maybe you don't really want to be with me.'

'Clark…'

'No Lana, not this time. I'm not going to let you make me feel guilty for doing what is right for me.'

'Clark, that's not what I'm trying to do.'

'But it's what you're doing. You spend hours telling me that I can trust you but you keep pushing me. Not to mention the way you act around Lois does not lead me to believe you trust me.'

The fact that Clark had spent the night with Lois doing exactly what Lana wished he would do with her was irrelevant. He felt comfortable telling Lois his secret even if it only happened because she caught him floating in his sleep. And yeah Lois knowing did have its advantages when she got all worked up and jumped him. He trusted himself around her and she trusted him enough, knowing his secret, not to hurt her. He didn't have that freedom with Lana and she refused to see it when he pointed it out in black and white.

'Lois is my friend Lana, I care about her but you make me feel bad for spending time with her and I've had enough. I can't be with you Lana if you're not going to let me be me.'

'Clark, I know Lois is your friend but it hurts when I see you two together. You smile all the time when you're around her. Even when you're fighting you get this look like there's nowhere else you'd rather be. It hurts that it's not me that puts that look on your face.'

Clark closed his eyes and wished there was some other way to say this but he had gotten to the point we he could no longer pretend that everything was okay. It was too much and with Chloe trying to stay neutral and both Lois and his mother pushing him to face facts he really was left with no other choice. For the first time Clark accepted what he was about to do and felt good about it.

'I think we should break up.'

She couldn't say she hadn't thought things between them were heading this way but she'd hoped that with a little help from Chloe and a nice long talk with Clark about trust and honesty they could be on their way to fixing things. Apparently Clark was giving up.

'Clark please don't do this. We can work through this.'

'No, Lana, we really can't. I'm not comfortable being myself around you and that means more to me than prolonging the inevitable.'

'Clark, please.'

'Lana, I think you should go. I want to be friends someday but we can't be more than that.'

'Clark.'

'I am sorry, Lana, but I need to do this.'

Lana looked close to tears and a part of Clark felt bad but he knew this was for the best. Clark looked away as she got to her feet and walked to the door.

'You need time, I can understand that. I'll wait for you.'

Before Clark could correct her she was gone. He didn't need time, he didn't want her to wait, he wanted her to understand they were over. He felt like banging his head against the table but was in no mood to repair it when he cracked it. Why couldn't she understand?

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'Thanks for the rescue, Lo,' Chloe said as they climbed the stairs to Lois' apartment over the Talon.

'Anytime, cuz. What were you thinking bringing Lana?'

'It wasn't planned she asked me where I was going and then she tagged along.'

'Meh, what's an awkward breakfast between friends?'

Chloe laughed glad to be away from the awkward and hanging out with her cousin. She settled on the couch and waited while Lois put on some coffee. She looked around the apartment at the mess that was Lois. A stack of photos sat on the coffee table in front of her. Chloe picked them up and realized they were the ones they had taken at the lake a few months back. There were plenty of Clark and herself and plenty of her with Lois but just the one of Clark and Lois. Even in the picture they were arguing, standing right up close and talking animatedly with their hands.

Lois came back and handed her a mug. She saw the photo's Chloe was looking at and rolled her eyes.

'Why is there only one photo of you and Clark?'

'There isn't,' Lois answered simply. 'Clark has some of them and the rest are on the fridge with the ones of us.'

'Oh.'

'So, tell me cousin of mine, what's new in the exciting world of Chloe Sullivan?'