Crimson Moon

By LianFex

0 2 E M P T Y

空になります

You've been hurt by incurable pain and sadness
We can't erase the past, so let's share the burden
Don't throw your life away
I will hold your hand

"…D-technoLife by UVERworld…"

A/N: Personally, I liked this chapter than the previous one but I still think I need a beta-reader. Beware of angst…and more.

I ached.

Why can't I breathe? Why can't I hold out my hand up high anymore? Where did the light went to? Why am I surrounded with darkness? Why am I alone? Where's everybody? Okaasan? Otousan? Niisan? Imooto? Where are you?

It hurts.

Okaasan…where are you? I'm afraid. Empty. I cannot see. I cannot breathe. I could hear my labored breath. I could feel the coldness in this void. I could feel the growing darkness eating away my being. Gradually, I could feel the building emptiness inside me. I could feel it. I could feel it under my skin.

I'm afraid, okaasan.

Empty. Void. Darkness. I could see it behind these closed lids. I don't want it at all! No, please! I want to step into the light! I want to be back to where I belong! I want to be back with my family! I want to…

I shuddered.

Impossible. Slowly but surely, I could not feel anything at all. Numb. The word echoed. NUMB. My whole body was numb. From my head to my toes, I could not move at all. Why? Am I still alive? Did the coldness eat me away? Am I still here? Why can't I move at all?

Imprisoned, I am. I could not feel anything at all. I'm afraid, a growing apprehension crawling in my chest. Please! I don't want to be like this! Give me back my real me…not this lifeless, empty doll you summoned me in. I want to be back!

Okaasan, be here with me…

I cried, an odd feeling of happiness that I actually shed tears crawling in my subconscious. I could feel the wet trails dripping in my cheeks. At least I could feel it. At least I could feel my tears falling, despite the coldness. At least I could feel the burning fear inside me. Depressed and yet happy. Like a bitter sweet feeling.

And then, for the first time living in this cold void, a warm hand lay atop my hand.

Then I smiled.

Cold hands gripped her white dagger tight as memories of the past came rushing back, flooding her senses. Her lips formed a thin line, desperate to shake it off. Her eyes glared at her own reflection at the dagger's blade. From where he was seating, Sasuke turned to look at her and instantly knew what she was thinking based on her expression.

Sometimes, the past came at random intervals.

"It's already late, Hinata. Go and sleep." He said, his eyes never leaving her face. She turned to his direction and gave him a weary small smile. She shook her head stubbornly.

"Iie…I have to polish my daggers. It's getting rusty."

"You've been polishing the same dagger for almost thirty minutes now."

She gave him a look and, realizing that she could not give a good comeback, sighed.

"Fine. You too."

"I can't," He raised a pink slip of paper in the air. "Mission. Two hours from now." She paused in mid-step and turned to him.

"Oh. That Karl guy?"

"Yeah."

"Aa…you'll be finish in about fifteen minutes, I guess."

"Hinata…" His voice changed tone. She smiled sheepishly and waved her hand away.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sleeping. Good luck. G'night." He nodded and she walked away, heading to her own chambers.

These are the kind of small conversations she had with him that would make her forget about her burdens. That's why she's glad that she is with him. She didn't know how he did it, but their strange exchange of words would sometimes take her mind away from the troubling thoughts she have ever since she was young.

She turned around the corner, her eyes silently regarding the barren metal walls. Their hideout looked like a warehouse, to be blunt. There is nothing in the place that could be close to what they called 'homey'. Everything screamed 'HIDEOUT'. There are little windows as possible and they are mostly small and always covered with heavy worn dark curtains. The only furniture in said place are the things they only needed: chairs, tables, beds, sink. And they are uncomfortable to boot.

But she didn't mind.

She reached her bedroom and dropped herself on her so-called bed with a thin leather mattress. Said bedroom is small with a small circular window just beside the bed. An end table, a chair nearby and a desk with her necessary things are the only furniture that occupied the small space. She turned to look at the moonless dark sky.

Moonless. Just like the night a few years back. She tried to shake it off but the memories flooded her senses. In her small room, she could almost smell the metallic scent in the air, taste the copper-like flavor on her tongue and could almost hear her own childish screams.

A single tear fell.

Why can't she just forget that night? Why is she plagued with endless nightmares that would leave her breathless and afraid in her wake? Afraid, she was. She always had been afraid when she was young. She had always been afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone, afraid of living a life she did not want and afraid of being away from others. But right now, she is no longer afraid.

Because she's living the hell she had always been afraid of.

A wise man once told her that "To conquer your fears, you must face them." In her current lifestyle, she had faced them and won. But that doesn't mean she's never afraid. In fact, after she conquered said fears, she gained another fear; a single fear and yet the greatest and the most impossible dread to conquer.

She's afraid of her own self.

Her own reflection reminds her of the monster she had become. Those eyes, once lively and filled with happiness, remained empty, void of life. She'll smile, she'll laugh and yet she wondered if ever it reached her eyes. When she's with Sasuke, their small conversations would make her forget of her own misery but she wondered if ever it reached her eyes how glad she is that Sasuke is with her.

Sometimes, she's afraid to look at her own hands, knowing how stained they were. She could feel how heavy they were, drenched with blood that could never be washed. Looking at her own hands, she could imagine the countless times she killed.

There were nights when she would wake up in the middle of the night and wash her hands until they bleed. Her half-deranged mind would always imagine them filled with blood. Her body automatically following what her subconscious mind would order. And it was during these nights when Sasuke would come inside with her and stopped her own delusions.

How he managed to do so, she could not fathom. She knew her crazed, bloodshot eyes would never leave her blood-stained hands. She knew her hands would never stop washing until her hallucinations would wear off. But whenever Sasuke would kneel beside her, cover her hands with his own and gently steer her away from the bathroom, the moment she laid eyes on her hands, they were clean.

He is her own medicine.

He never talk unless he was addressed to. Sometimes, he'll talk whenever necessary. But to her, his mere presence is enough to calm her nerves. She knew he got his own nightmares and it pained her to know that she is not there to help him out. She didn't know what they were but there were rare moments when he would go inside her chambers in the middle of the night without a word and lay beside her. These were the times when she knew she had helped him, although she didn't know how.

Both of them were complete opposites and yet they were both similar.

Opposites, they were, said their own boss. Where Sasuke had the strength and power, Hinata had the speed and agility. Sometimes, their clients would always think that the reason why she does the job fast and clean is because she wanted it done with. They were both right and wrong. Sasuke and she know that to die fast and painlessly would be a merciful act. That's why she always tried to hone her speed.

Careful clients would always choose Hinata since they wanted the job done efficiently, fast and clean. Also, Hinata makes a good undercover assassination with her gentle, innocent face and lady-like movements. No one would believe that such girl is capable of hanging a head on a stick and parading it for the whole world to see.

However, clients who wanted a brutal, morbid and slow kind of killing choose Sasuke since Hinata would refuse such kind of assassinations. Sasuke does not want to do so as well but for the sake of Hinata, he'll do it. Between them, they don't know which of them is the worse. Hinata, who kills more than him, or Sasuke, who executes a brutal and slow killing? Neither knew or wanted to know.

Both have their own nightmares and fears. Both have a past they could not forget. They never wanted to be like this. When their hands were stained and their hearts torn, their freedom and will were tied down. They were stripped down of what normal human beings had. Privilege, freedom, choice and life, both were deprived of such things. 'Hope', she even does not want to acknowledge the word. To them, hope is nothing but a silly word.

Once, when they were with friends that had left them since long, they had hoped. "Ne, after this, what do you want to become?" A friend had asked and Hinata had been giddy (or hopeful) enough to answer. "Doctor. I want to become a doctor." They had been young since then, not quite understanding that there were no 'after this'. They later realized the distressing truth when their friends left them one by one.

She woke up from her stupor when her trained ears heard the door open. Unconsciously reaching for her dagger underneath her pillow, she let out a relieved sigh when the dark figure of Sasuke appeared along with the familiar scent of apple that came along with his presence.

"I thought you were already asleep." He said in his usual monotone voice. She moved to give him space to sit on her bed. He sat, not looking at her but at the dark sky. She followed suit.

"Can't sleep. There's no moon." He nodded, understanding what it means. Their gazes roamed around the endless dark clouds on the sky as silence settled between them. Silence had always been comfortable when they are around. In silence, they find solace. In silence, they find understanding. Silence had always been the most favorable option, considering the fact that they need no words to explain their feelings.

To Hinata, her situation and pressures would sometimes drive her into madness and delusions. Sometimes, she could hardly keep up with reality and her mind would take her far back into the night where it all began. And then she would live the same nightmare over and over again, feeling the clammy cold hand gripping her heart, clenching it hard until she could hardly breathe. She would relive the same visions of death before her eyes and she would suffer the same agony. But Sasuke would always bring her back. His mere presence is enough and she would rather die than be left alone without him.

To Sasuke, his nightmares and fears would sometimes affect his own mind and actions. When Hinata had her own illusions, he was haunted with the ghosts of his past. The visions of his parents blaming him continued to haunt his being. Their voices whisper on his ears, telling him to join them. How many times he tried to take his life, he could barely count. But just the thought of leaving Hinata made him nauseous and sick. He could hardly handle the thought of being away from her and he knew that she needed him, just how much he needed her. When he is with her, breathing in her scent and her relishing her presence, all of those whispers and visions were drowned by her. Because when he is her, he actually felt alive.

To them, being in the presence of each other to kept them alive, with their sanity and lives intact. Because between them is one extraordinary bond. Not just one bond though, both shared multitudes of bonds. Bonds of survival, bonds of contentment, bonds of blood, bonds of sorrow…Bonds, strong as they were, had always been their ties to each other. To Hinata, Sasuke is her link to sanity. To Sasuke, Hinata is his link life. But each link runs deeper, exposing links and bonds that are even invisible to both of them.

Maybe bonds of love would be one of them, and yet these remained unseen by them both. They never searched deeper, anyway. To them, this pure bond they shared would always remain chaste. Their minds might be corrupted, their hearts may be torn, their souls might be sold and their hands might be tainted but this bond would always remain clean. And they would make sure of it.

"I should go now."

She turned towards his direction and gave him a small smile. He nodded and stood up, his eyes mesmerized at her own snow white orbs. He walked towards the door, without saying a word, before he halted as a thought ran in his head.

"I'll bring you some senzai when I'll arrive."

She smiled. "Thank you, Sasuke."

He closed the door behind him but did not leave just yet. Little did she know that behind that closed door, a small smile only meant for her crept on his face. And little does he know that her words before he left held so much meaning than what he thought.

A/N: Nope, little action, yeah. Just wanted to express their feelings first. Uh, yeah. It's been fun to write this chapter…a lot. Haha! Hope you like it and as always, that review button is love.

Thanks to these people:

Mahou Inu Alex, kawaiiitahina123, MoonIdiot, NanamiYatsumaki, DarkSmile, winterkaguya, Archee-chan, Anime-lover-44, KarenLovesMusic, show.me.the.stars, kenshinlover2002, SasukeUchiha911, princezzme

And thank you for adding this story to the Kamoku Ai C2! I'm flattered. Thank you very much. (hugs)