DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of NCIS or the song "Who's That Girl?" by Hilary Duff.

Chapter 1: Kate and Ziva

Seems like everything's the same around me
When I look again and everything has changed
I'm not dreaming so I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why
She's everywhere I wanna be

"What the hell?" Tony said in stupefaction, staring at the two women.

"Tony!" Kate exclaimed indignantly. "Who the hell is she and what is she doing in my desk?"

"What the hell?"

"Tony!" Ziva snapped. "What is going on?"

"What's all this shouting?" came a woman's voice from the stairwell. "Tony, Ziva, really, it's 0700."

Kate looked up to see a slender red-haired woman in a suit set standing over them, suspicion in her eyes as she looked at Kate.

"Um, I think there's a problem, director," Tony said slowly.

"What are you talking about?" Kate demanded as Tony was hauling her off to a holding room. "Hello, Tony, it's me, it's Kate."

"I would shut up until you know who you're talking to, lady," Tony replied harshly, yanking open the door to an interrogation room.

"Tony, don't you even recognize me?" Kate asked frantically. "Come on, I haven't changed that much!"

Kate knuckled her forehead nervously as she checked her watch again. Three hours. Three hours she had been in here, and not so much as a visit from McGee.

She jumped when the door opened and said, "Finally! Guys, why am I being treated like a suspect?"

"Because you broke into a federal building, broke into a federal officer's files and are attempting to impersonate a federal agent," Ziva replied, closing the door and sitting down across the table from her. "I'd say you're already looking at a good ten years in prison, Miss…"

"Agent," Kate corrected tensely. "Agent Caitlin Todd, NCIS." She narrowed her eyes when Ziva shook her head and chuckled lowly. "What? What is funny, Agent…"

"Officer," Ziva corrected calmly. "Officer Ziva David."

"Officer," Kate said with exaggerated patience. "What is so funny?"

"That you claim to be Agent Todd," Ziva replied, twirling the remote for the plasma in her fingers deftly, "when everybody at NCIS knows that Caitlin Todd is in Virginia." As she hit the power button, she added, "In the Olwood Cemetery in Alexandria, to be precise. For three years."

Kate was shocked to see her own face show up on the plasma, eyes closed and a perfect, round bullet-hole in her forehead as she was on the autopsy slab.

"So you see, miss, it is impossible for you to be Agent Todd," Ziva said calmly, getting up and turning off the plasma. "Three different agents saw Kate die."

"Wait!" Kate said desperately, realizing now what a predicament she was in. The girl who had been playing her had died in the line of duty. Nobody had been informed of the switch. Not Gibbs, not her family, not anybody outside of the director. As far as everybody knew, Kate Todd was dead. "Can I get a phone call?"

"I hope it is to a lawyer," Ziva replied as she tossed a cell phone at her.

"No, to somebody who can clear all of this up in no time," Kate muttered, dialling in her head of operations at Secret Service.

Ziva raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Kate wanted to knock that cool collection out of her.

"Derek Wilchowy."

Kate returned her thoughts to the subject at hand. "Derek, it's Kate Todd."

"Ah, yes, how is life at NCIS?"

"A little complicated. Derek, I need you to come down and straighten out a misunderstanding. NCIS seems to have changed directors in the last three years and the new one doesn't have any idea of the op."

"Well, Tessa should be able to clear everything up. Where's Tessa?"

Kate sighed. "She's dead, Derek. She's been dead almost as long as the op has been going." She glared at Ziva when the young Israeli waved her hand in a 'hurry up' gesture. "I'm being held in an interrogation room until everything clears. Can you just come down and vouch for me so I can get on with my life?"

"I'm on my way, Kate, just hang tight."

Kate hung up and threw the phone back to Ziva. "There."

"How do we determine if it's true?" the red-haired director asked Abby as the two entered the interrogation room.

"Well, it's pointless to run a DNA test, because identical people always have identical DNA," Abby said. "Scientifically, there's nothing I can do, director."

"But people have different life experiences, Abby," Kate pointed out. "I have a tattoo. Tessa didn't."

"Did Ducky mention a tattoo in the autopsy report?" the director asked.

"I don't think so, but he doesn't usually unless they're relevant to the case, like in a John Doe or something," Abby replied.

The director's cell phone went off just then, and she excused herself. "Jen Shepard here." She listened for a moment. "No, Jethro, I'm a little occupied with this Agent Todd mix-up. What about the Ranier case?" She listened a little longer. "Well, send Tony and Ziva undercover again, you and McGee go with them as backup. I'll contact the FBI, let them know." She hung up and then answered a second call. "Jen Shepard. Yes, I'm the director. Why, yes, I do have the woman claiming to be Caitlin Todd here."

"So, Sophie, undercover again," Tony was saying in an undertone to Ziva as he finished buttoning a dress shirt. "Think we'll get a presidential suite again?"

Ziva laughed slightly, dressed in an elegant wine red dress that Kate would've killed to look halfway decent in. "Jean-Paul, you have a little too much fun on these missions." She tapped his cheek lightly and pulled on a coat.

"What can I say, the TV had over 200 channels, the champagne wasn't bad, I kind of liked the gourmet dining…" he paused and then held out a gallant arm. "Madame?"

"Merci," she replied with a smile, taking the arm. "If you are lucky, perhaps we will be booked the suite again."

"Not to mention the view wasn't bad." He yelped when she slapped him across the back of the head, though she had a smile while she did it. "Wouldn't mind that view again."

"Oh, now you are really dreaming," Ziva breathed to him, just as Kate interrupted.

"All right, what's going on?"

"Ah, yes, Agent Todd, back from the dead," Gibbs said sarcastically.

"Old case from a few years ago," McGee explained. "We'll fill you in later."

"We'll have the feed going into MTAC, director," Gibbs said to the director as she, Abby and Ducky appeared amongst the group. "Ducky, Abby, anything to add?"

"Oh, um, don't get caught and tortured this time," Abby said immediately.

"We weren't tortured," Tony said defensively.

"He may have been hit several times but he wasn't tortured," Ziva agreed. "And he bore it graciously," she added, patting his cheek affectionately.

"Remember that these people don't know you're supposed to be dead," Ducky spoke up. "They do, however, know that Sophie Ranier was pregnant three years ago."

"And will be expecting mention of a small child. Thank you, Ducky," Ziva said.

"Do we actually have any of that recorded somewhere?" Tony asked.

"Thank Abby and McGee for that," Gibbs said, tossing each of them a large manila envelope. "Pictures, birth certificates, medical cards, other assorted bits and pieces you normally find with parents of a 3-year-old."

"Excellent," Ziva said, skimming through it.

"Lee-ah," Tony mused, looking at the birth certificate.

"Lay-ah, Tony, learn your French," Ziva corrected.

"All right, let's head out, 'Jean-Paul' and 'Sophie' have a dinner to get to," Gibbs said, holstering his gun. "McGee, with me. You get to be a waiter again. Abby, Ducky, back to your labs."

"I'll be watching in MTAC," the director said, heading back upstairs.

"Uh, Gibbs, what about me?" Kate spoke up, dashing after him when the team entered the elevator.

"What about you, Agent Todd?" Gibbs asked, holding the elevator door open while he looked at her impassively. "You don't have any background on this case. You're not coming."

"Excuse me?" Kate demanded indignantly.

"Out, Todd," Gibbs ordered. Sighing, Kate backed out of the elevator.

"I guess I'll go see if Abby wants any help in her lab."

"And stay out of my desk!" Ziva called warningly as the doors closed on the new team.

Kate sighed and sat down in the chair behind her desk. She didn't care what that Ziva chick said, it was her desk.

She pulled out every drawer, every file, every pen and paperclip and began to put it back together her way. Ziva had torn the desk apart in the last three years; it took her nearly four hours to sort everything out again.

Finally, it was all back to the way it was supposed to be. Kate gathered up all of Ziva's papers and personal effects, walked down to the empty desk at the edge of the bullpen and dumped them there unceremoniously.

"Take that, Officer David," she muttered. She returned to her desk and booted up the computer, beginning the long process of copying all of Ziva's files to a separate disk and then deleting them from the computer. Once finished, approximately two hours later, she dropped the disk on top of the pile of things on the 'outcast' desk. She retrieved all of her own files from the filing cabinet between her desk and Tony's, putting them back in place.

Kate couldn't resist a smirk from crossing her face as she headed down to Abby's lab. That would teach Officer David.

"Oh, hi," Abby said distractedly as she looked at Kate briefly. "What do you want?"

"Wow, Abby, that was cold," Kate said with a slight laugh. "I was just coming to see if you wanted any help at all, or any company… I, um, I seem to have walked into an open case and Gibbs won't let me come."

"Yeah, well, I'm kind of busy right now, Kate, so maybe later, okay?" Abby said, pushing her chair across the lab to another computer, where a video feed was coming in. Undaunted, Kate came over with Abby and looked at the screen.

"What's the feed from?"

"Tony and Ziva's mission," Abby answered. "Listen, Kate, I really am in the middle of something. Go ask the director what to do."

Kate sighed and reluctantly exited, just as Abby was chirping something indistinct to Tony and Ziva through the speakerphone. There was a laugh from Tony and a reply from Ziva. She had never felt so useless and stupid and left out in her life.

"Agent Todd," the director greeted quietly as Kate came into MTAC. "Why are you still here?"

"I've been left behind, Director, I was hoping for an assignment," Kate replied. "Anything that I can do to aid the mission?"

"No, Agent Todd, that's perfectly fine," the director replied briefly. "Why don't you go home? You can start catching up on the open cases with the team tomorrow."

Kate sighed as she answered the phone again. So far her parents had called, Christina, Matthew and Michael. It was about the right time for Craig to be calling. "Hello?"

"Katie, you are coming back to Virginia, and you are going to explain what the hell is going on!"

"Nice to talk to you too, Craig," Kate said patiently, leaning back on the headboard of her hotel room bed. Her second line beeped. "Sorry, Craig, I've got to go. Kate."

"So help me, Agent Todd, if you ever try to disrupt my mission again…" Gibbs threatened.

"What?" Kate demanded. "What did I do? I haven't been able to do anything since I got back, Gibbs!"

"You moved Ziva's files, Kate!" Gibbs roared. "We needed something out of that and Abby wasted an hour trying to find out where they'd gone! You nearly got Tony and Ziva killed because of that!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Kate exclaimed. "It's not like anybody clued in me on the case!"

"I want you at NCIS and ready to work at 0700! Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal."

Kate got out of the elevator at 0645, feeling pretty confident that she had arrived first. But when she arrived at the bullpen, there sat Ziva, in jeans and an NCIS sweatshirt, hair damp and brushed back, reading a magazine that looked as though it might have been filched from Tony's desk and eating an apple… in Kate's desk.

"When did you get here?" Kate asked. "And get out of my desk."

"It is my desk, Agent Todd," Ziva replied calmly, not even looking up from her magazine, "and I never left. Tony and I managed to escape at 0300. Your things are on your desk, down there." She gestured vaguely towards the outcast desk.

"I feel like a kindergarten teacher," Gibbs muttered as he entered with Tony, who was also in jeans and an NCIS sweatshirt. "All right, Officer David, Agent Todd, front and centre!" he barked, making visions of Marines charge through Kate's mind.

"Oooh, this ought to be good," Tony muttered to McGee as the probie entered.

"Any sign of a fight yet?" McGee asked, passing a breakfast sandwich and coffee to Tony.

"Oh, it's coming…"

"Throwdown: Secret Service vs. Mossad…"

"I'm not sure who I'd bet on…" Both young men shut up when Gibbs sent them the evil eye.

"Like it or not, the both of you are members of this team," Gibbs said sternly, pacing in front of both Ziva and Kate.

"But Gibbs –" both women exclaimed in unison.

"An NCIS team only has four agents!" Kate protested. Was that a flash of panic she saw in Ziva's eyes?

"I can make exceptions," Gibbs growled. "You will work together, you will not attempt to sabotage each other, you will act your age. That is an order!"

"So who gets the desk?" Kate asked impatiently; Ziva still seemed to be thinking of something else.

"Gibbs, I can't work like this!" Kate complained, irritably digging an elbow into Ziva's side. "Gibbs!"

"Don't make me put the both of you in time-out," Gibbs warned as Ziva made a move as though to smack Kate.

"Oh, please do, boss," Tony said from his desk, grinning when Ziva hurled a stapler at him. "Temper, temper, Ziva."

"Tony, shut up before I start throwing things at you," Kate growled. "God, can you take up any more space?" she demanded to Ziva.

"I could, but you are in the way," Ziva replied coolly. "McGee, do you have the –" Her email pinged. "Thank you."

"Why wouldn't you just go and get the file from him, Officer David?" Kate asked pointedly.

"Because you are blocking my path, Agent Todd, and if I get up, you will take my spot."

"All right, that does it. Kate, Ziva, with me," Gibbs said in disgust, getting up from his desk. "Wait. You, your gun," he said to Kate, holding out his hand. Sighing, Kate handed over her gun. He dumped it in a drawer and then held out his hand to Ziva. Muttering in Hebrew under her breath, Ziva handed him her gun. He put it in the drawer along with Kate's and then held out his hand again. "The backups and the knife too."

Ziva glowered at him and dumped the other two guns and her knife into his hand.

"Hey! Hey!" both women exclaimed as Gibbs shut the door to the interrogation room and locked it from the outside.

"You can't do this, Gibbs!" Kate shouted.

"You could have at least left me my knife, Gibbs!" Ziva yelled.

"God, what kind of homicidal maniac are you, that you carry three guns and a knife on your person?!" Kate demanded, stalking over to one corner. "How do you get away with it at NCIS, any way?"

"That is standard Mossad carrying procedure, for your information, Agent Todd," Ziva replied curtly.

Hours passed. "When do you think he'll let us out?" Kate asked dully, sitting on the floor in her corner.

"When he is convinced we have either killed each other or come to some sort of truce," Ziva replied bluntly.

"How about you stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours?" Kate asked.

"Sounds good to me," Ziva answered. "I get the desk."

"I get the parking space."

"I get to drive."

"I do photos and sketches."

"I get the top filing drawer."

"I get the second."

"You will have to fight Tony for it. You can have the hat."

"I'd rather have the jacket."

"You get the hat. I keep the jacket."