Author's Note: This is a short one, mainly for stress relief. I am so crapped up over exams and my piano exam. Can't seem to do anything right. faints
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach
I Reject!
By annyenil
Kuchiki Byakuya stood in his office. He made a survey around the room to ensure that the windows were tightly shut, and that the doors were tightly sealed by kidou. "There is a reason why I asked for a fukutaichou who was terrible with spells." He smirked to himself. With a wave of his arm, all the curtains in his office swung shut, leaving him in a complete darkness.
"I have been waiting for this for too long……It simply took too long." He thought, eagerness crept onto his usually stoic face, albeit masked by the dearth of light. Gently, he lit a purple light, suspended in the air with a spell. It was a light only he could see. He quickly scanned the room again. "Why do I feel that I am doing something wrong? It is, after all, for the good of the world. And the Kuchiki clan."
Calmly and discretely, the head of the Kuchiki clan set down five candles on the floor and swished his katana around in five lightning-fast and neat strokes. A pattern had been carved on the floor: The Star of David. With another mysterious wave of the hand, he lit up the five candles in red. The glow loomed over him, and his face was enveloped by a sinister shadow……
"What is Taichou doing?" Abarai Renji thought to himself as he approached the Division office. For some strange reason, the reiatsu emitting from the room felt……different. This was extremely exciting for being in the Sixth Division meant that aside for missions, nothing much interesting ever happened, unlike in the Eleventh Division, where they occurred on the daily basis mainly due to a certain pink-haired fukutaichou.
Renji slowly crept up to the door of the office, grabbed the handle and turned, hoping to catch his Taichou in some un-nobly or perverse act, such as reading pornographic magazines, or secretly singing "Don't Cha" while sexy dancing with a custom-made porcelain statue of Rukia. (As Rukia had always commented, Renji seemed to have this impression that everybody entertained themselves in similar ways as he did.) He was surprised, because he could not even twist the door knob. "This is Kidou sealed! Taichou must have hidden an extremely sexy lady in the office. I MUST see this!" Quickly, Abarai fukutaichou raced to the courtyard of the Division Headquarters and tried to peek through the windows, but all the curtains were down and too thick to glimpse through. In disappointment, he trod away to find Hinamori for a spell to open the door. Just as he was turning away, he found an uncovered section! "Aha! Even Taichou couldn't be that careful!" Quietly, Renji crawled towards the window and pressed his eyes against it, hoping to see his Taichou engaged in activities with a particularly attractive lady. "Or man. Whichever Taichou prefers."
What Renji saw left him in bewilderment. In the room, there was a glowing Star of David, pink petals of Cherry were churning and swirling into a mild hurricane of brilliant colours. In the centre of the tornado was Kuchiki Byakuya, his eyes wild and glowing, his hands in quick, flourishes of waves and gestures, and his hair fluttering like the tides in a vast, stormy ocean. He seemed to be chanting, or incanting something. Suddenly, a surge of orange flame ignited in the middle of the star. And following that, everything died down. Very serenely, and somewhat with an air of depravity about him, Kuchiki Byakuya produced two pieces of parchment with something written on them and sprinkled them into the blazing flame. The papers were engulfed immediately and the flame vanished, carrying the candles and the star with it. It was as though nothing had happened.
Renji did not even bother to watch the end of it. "Was Taichou trying to curse somebody? Had I done something wrong? Am I going to die puking out my guts in the middle of the night? Is that a spell to make him potent?" So many ideas, so many thoughts were rushing through his head as he dashed to the Fifth Division Headquarters. "Hinamori-san! Hinamori-san! HINAMORI!"
"Renji, if you had paid attention during the Advanced Kidou class, you would have realized that it was merely a Repulsion Spell, albeit of a higher level." Renji scratched his head as Hinamori giggled at his ignorance. "So what does it do?"
"Well, Abarai-kun, I am not sure entirely, but it seemed like a kidou that Nanao-san often used. The Repulsion ritual allows the person to repel two things or persons. It is such that no matter how hard those two things try, unless the spell is lifted, they cannot come in contact with one another. I would suppose that those two things were written on the papers Kuchiki Taichou had used."
"And Nanao-san used it for……?"
"Herself and Kyoraku Taichou."
"I see."
"Byebye Abarai-kun. Tonight is the Division Dinner. I have much preparations to do."
Renji suddenly remembered his Division Dinner. "I shall find out if Taichou was trying to repel me." He thought indignantly.
The Sixth Division Dinner, like any other Division Dinners, was held once every fornightly for the Taichou to dine with his seated officers. However, it was very much a solemn affair in the Sixth Division, as opposed to in the Eleventh Division, where the Dinner was more of a food fight, and in the Twelfth Division, where the dinner consisted of poison served to the officers for testing by the Taichou.
And so it was an utter aberrance and shock to the seated officers and Taichou when Abarai fukutaichou, upon entering the dining hall, promptly applied himself to Kuchiki Byakuya, who looked like he had been showered by dirt. "Chire-"
Renji quickly jumped of his Taichou and with a short, embarrassed apology, resumed his seat next to his Taichou, whose expression showed that he had not been affected at all, or simply could not be bothered to question the actions of his often drunk fukutaichou.
"If it isn't me, then who is it?"
As the meal went on, Renji soon found out. Dessert and fruits were served. It was a harvesting winter, and the meal had been satisfying. The servants elegantly served each officer in the room a bowl of warm red bean soup and a plate of delightful looking strawberries.
With a regal air, Kuchiki Byakuya reached out for a strawberry. None of the officers had noticed how, but their Taichou had somehow missed the strawberry. With a slightly determined look on his face and swifter aim, Byakuya's hand dived for the strawberry again. And he missed again. By now Byakuya had a tiny knit in his eyebrows as he struggled to maintain his noble air while still battling with the obdurate fruit.
Losing his patience, he reached out his palm and attempted to grab the motionless strawberries which seemed to be flouting him. With such a strong force approaching, the strawberries adventurously flew out of his plate and were sent into projectiles around the room.
By now the seated officers were covering their mouths with their sleeves, trying to conceal the obvious grins that were plastered on their faces. Abarai Renji sat with an annoyingly knowing smile on his face.
With strawberries floating about in the room chased by Byakuya's reiatsu, it was a scene that greatly humiliated the apathetic Kuchiki clan head.
"Chire, Senbonzakura." He bellowed.
The Sixth Division officers watched in horror as the swords pierced through the tatami in the room, some shivering in fear and some trembling with a pool of urination underneath their haori. Renji observed with superior calmness and noted interest that all the strawberries had rolled aside in artful dodges and had escaped completely unscathed.
Back in his office, Kuchiki Byakuya held two slips of paper in his hand. One read "Kuchiki", while the other read "Ichigo".
"I am doing this only for your own good, Rukia."
With a sigh, he added "Kurosaki" beneath the "Ichigo". He gazed at the paper that said Kuchiki for awhile, raising his pen to add "Rukia".
"On second thoughts, let's just leave it this way."