NEW CHAP(2): "Getting Sick"

When the party finally arrived at Helsing Manor, Pip felt dreadful.

All his hair was gone, he was cold and soaking wet, and he was sure Integra wasn't going to be happy since they hadn't vanquished the enemy.

He shivered involuntarily again as he felt an icy coldness settle into his bones.

Pip sighed, pulling his collar closer to his neck as the rain thumped his body. I hope I'm not coming down with anything… He thought.

Alucard stopped suddenly, and Pip, deep in thought, ran into him again.

"Ow. Will you quit ztopping zo zuddenly?" he asked, rubbing his fore-head.

"Will you quit running into me?" Alucard snapped back, losing patience.

"WILL YOU TWO QUIT FIGHTING?!" Seras screamed as thunder cracked in the back round.

They both fell silent.

"Well," Charlie called from the rear of the crowd. "Are we there yet?"

"Sit still Bernadette."

As soon as they all got back, Integra started to straighten out Pip's hair. When Anderson hacked it off, he had done it rather sloppily. It was all layered wrong and it was different lengths in separate spots.

He was a mess.

Everything was going all-right, though. Integra was almost finished and was agreeing to let the whole fleet have the day off because of their early start. Until-

Suddenly, a powerful tickle welled up in the back of Pip's nose. He instinctively shut his eyes and brought his hand to his face.

"HEHEETISSHH!" Pip's body flew forward on the impact of his violent sneeze.

"BERNADETTE, you dim-witted bum! Look what you made me do!"

The French-man wiped his nose on the sleeve of his dripping jacket.

"What did I do now?" he groaned.

"You made me mess up. I was almost done, now I have to start over… Next time you have to sneeze or something, let me know so I can quit cutting….. I could have sliced your ear off!"

Integra gave a glare for extra emphasis, harshly shoving Pip's head forward as to angle it so she could better see it, and was about to resume cutting when Pip held up a finger. "Wait," he told her.

He brought his arm to his face and after a wavering breath, sneezed three times.

"Finished?" Integra asked, annoyed.

Pip managed to shake his head. The last one seemed to take forever. "Eh….Eh… Eh-EHEEATISSHH!"

He rocked frontward again and began to feel around for a handkerchief, tissue, anything to hold off the onslaught of his sneezing

"Bless you, Captain… I think you should get out of those clothes. You're sick enough as it is," Integra said. She quickly pulled out a hankie from her breast pocket with two fingers and held it out to him. Pip took it gratefully and pressed it to his nose.

"No," he remarked, his voice muffled from the white linen. "Juzt fix my hair firzt. I'll be fine…"

Integra shrugged.

"All-right then. If that's what you want."

By the time Integra was done, Pip's hair was above his ears….. And he still was wet, cold, and tired.

He changed into the hoodie and jeans he had been wearing earlier and packed his pockets with tissues. Just in case.. he considered. And with that, he left his quarters and headed to the kitchen for breakfast. It was only 7:23am.

On the way, he watched in vain as Seras turned the corner. Pip really didn't want to talk to her at the moment. To tell you the truth, he was a bit embarrassed about the condition he was in. Ghetto duds, tired-looking, and in the process of a nasty head-cold, who wouldn't be?

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Seras was walking to her bedroom. It was getting late, and she was getting sleepy. Yawning, she stared ahead. What she saw surprised her.

It looked like some mangled teenager that had just woken up. She wondered vaguely if he was an early recruit… The young fledgling decided to greet the newcomer.

"Hi!" she called.

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Pip winced. She had spotted him. He scanned his options. He could run, say hi back, or completely ignore her…

Choices…Choices..

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"I'm Seras Victoria! And I-" Seras stopped. On closer inspection, she noticed it was Pip. Captain Pip Bernadette..

"Pip," she voiced, less enthusiastic. "I- I didn't recognize you!"

"Fanzy zat," the French-man replied under his breath as he whizzed by her.

Seras stared, puzzled. The normal Pip would have been trying to make a move on her. Why wasn't he trying to make a move her?

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Pip cursed as another fierce prickle returned to his nose. He hadn't cleared the hallway yet! He tried his best to suppress it, but he failed utterly.

"HEHEEAACHEISSHH!"

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Seras spun around upon hearing the noise. "Bless you, Pip!" she yelled to him.

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"Dankz," he replied. Pip stopped when hearing his retort. Dankz? Between his accent and his congestion, no one would be able to understand him..

The rest of the day went on rather like that. Pip mostly just avoiding everybody… He conked out around 6:00pm..

"Captain?…. Captain… Pip, wake up."

Pip awoke to somebody shaking him. He was considerably startled to find himself still in his hoodie and jeans, collapsed on his mattress. He could have sworn he had put on pajamas and gotten into bed.

Judging on how dry his throat felt, he had most likely slept with his mouth open. Pip tried to breathe through his nose, but it was no use. He was defiantly clogged-up.

"Ah, Captain…. Are you awake now?" Walter asked, taking liberty into poking him.

Pip was about to answer when an aggressive sneezing fit overtook him.

"HEHETISSH! HEHTIISSHH!!"

Walter smiled.

"I take it as a yes… Sir Helsing wanted me to inform you that, due to you coming down ill, she will not be forcing you into coming to work today."

"I'b dot ill… Why would she zdink zdat?" Pip responded, rubbing his nose again. He didn't like Walter all up in his grill and in his business. Didn't this guy have to be somewhere?..

Walter raised an eyebrow at the stubborn young Captain. "Well, for one, you don't sound very good. Two, when you didn't show-up for call time today, Sir Integra suspected you had slept in, which you hardly ever do. And three, she had already expected you to come down with a nasty cold. The way that you were blundering around yesterday…"

Pip felt his face grow hot with fever and embarrassment. He didn't like people to fuss over him. He could take care of himself and no one needed to worry about it…

"I'b find.. Juzt tired iz all!" he said, sitting up.

Walter raised his other eyebrow and shook his head unbelievably.

"You don't want the day off?!"

"Doe! Of courze zdot!"

"Really? I would give anything to get a day off!"

"Well den," Mr. Bernadette replied, clamoring to his feet. "I guess zdat goes to show you are a desperate old ban wid DOE HONOR LEFT IND HIS BODY."

Walter took a step back, sensing Pip's hostility. He was obviously in a rotten mood, and didn't want this kind of attention drawn to him… didn't want people drawn to his exploited weakness. The butler nodded curtly, then speedily turned and left the room.

When Pip was sure Walter was gone, he pulled out a tissue and blew his nose, hoping to loosen some of the congestion.

The Captain really didn't want to go anywhere, but he didn't want people worrying about him either… What should he do?

Getting up, he groaned under his breath. His legs felt like jelly and his torso like lead. His head was pounding and he could barely get in a decent deep breath without having to cough.

Nevertheless, he was going to work, no matter how bad he felt..

---

Fifteen minutes later he was dressed and ready in warm, thick attire. During his dressing process, he caught himself falling asleep when we was putting on his shirt. There was no hiding that he was still extremely fatigued. But he would do his best to make less noticeable.

---

While walking down the hall, he blew his nose some more, trying to get as much out as he possibly could before people started interacting with him.

Sadly, he misinterpreted how much time he actually had….

Seras rounded the corner.

---

Seras was planning on going to go out and help the Captain in the fields. He had been acting rather odd yesterday, and she wanted to see how long the behavior would last. It seemed like a good temporary hobby… As she turned the corner she ran directly into the oddball himself.
"Oh! Hi Pip! I was go-"

Seras paused as she noticed how terrible Pip looked. He was considerably paler than usual, and his nose and cheeks were both a bright pink. He was walking unsteadily and looked so tired. She felt a large wave of concern course through her body.
"Pip… You look awful. I was suspecting you might catch a chill. But, really, you ought not go to work today. I'll take care of the troops.."
Pip quickly wiped his nose and shoved his handkerchief into his jacket pocket.
"I'b find- I mean… I'm fine. It iz just a zlight caze of zniffles.."
Seras shook her head and, as though an unknown force had made her, she laid her hand on his fore head. She was surprised when she withdrew it quickly. His fore-head felt burning hot.
"You feel hot.."
Pip quickly recoiled, keeping away from her.
"I'm fine, I zaid! Why do you even want to be around me? I zought you hated me!"
Sears pulled back, appalled. It was true there were times when Pip got on her nerves, and freaked her out with his flirtatious attitude, but she had never hated him. And she was surprised it had ever come across that way.
Pip had seemed to think conversation was terminated. He had said the cold, hard truth and she was stunned to silence by it… Oh, well…Easier get-away! he thought. As he made a move to leave, Seras snapped back to reality.
"Pip! I don't hate you! What gave you an idea like that?"

He shrugged, wanting just to go outside and yell at people.. It would make him feel better.

"No, really Captain. Do you really think I hate you?"

Seras felt very guilty and rather hurt about what Pip thought about her. Was she really that mean to him?

Pip could easily pick up the complicated emotions on a woman's face. He knew he had cut Seras deep with his comment, and she wanted to contradict him.

"Answer me, Pip. Do you think I hate you?"
"Zeras, I-"

All speaking stopped when Alucard came striding around the corner, grinning when he caught sight of Pip.

"Good morning, Frenchy. You are looking quite chipper today."

Pip could almost feel Alucard's sarcasm hit him in the face. Seras watched cautiously as the vampire looked the Captain over, a disdainful countenance on his face.

"I should've known a pathetic human like yourself would succumb to the weak germs of the mortal race…"

Seras stared as Pip's face turned a lovely shade of magenta.

"I'm not zick! I'm fine.. Just a little ti-.. tir-.."

Seras watched Alucard's lips curl into a smug grin as Pip struggled with the oncoming sneeze.

"Heh.. Heh… HEH.. HEHHATISSHHH!!!"

Alucard stepped away, in fear of getting sprayed. He scoffed at Pip.

"The human way of relieving itself of nasal irritation is utterly disgusting.."

The No-Life King scrutinized Pip as he miserably rubbed his nose with the back of his sleeve.

"Pathetic.. Completely pathetic," Alucard growled, as he faded through the floor.

Seras looked over at Pip, who was already running the other way.. He needed a tissue.. REALLY BADLY..

"Pip! Wait! You don't have to be embarrassed," she called after him.

But Pip kept running. Seras probably didn't remember the terribly humiliating occurrences when you REALLY needed to wipe your nose.. And he didn't feel much like enlightening her memory.

He zipped down the hall, the Men's room in sight. A sharp turn left and he would be home free.. That is, unless his stupid boss hadn't gotten in the way.

Integra came from the Women's room on the right side, running almost directly into Pip.

"Captain? What are you-?… Why are you covering your face?"

"Excuse me," Pip's muffled voice came, eager to get by.

"But why-?… OH! I'm sorry!" Integra replied, finally understanding.

Pip nodded graciously, not to mention a bit embarrassed as he slipped through the door. No sooner had he gone in when Seras Victoria came wheeling down the hall.

"Where'd Pip go?" she asked.

"Bathroom," Integra answered, beginning to head for her office.

"Wait!" Seras called, running back up to her.

"What?"

"I was just wondering, do think Pip is all right?"

Integra almost laughed.

"Are you kidding? Of course he is! Just has a cold, is all. Why?"

"Well, he hasn't been so, well, "fresh".. If you know what I mean."

Seras shrugged sheepishly as Integra's eyebrows flew up in mild surprise. But it was true. Seras was clueless in the reason why Pip was acting so cagey lately.

"He's sick, that's why."

"So?"

"Senior Victoria, I'm sure you don't remember the times when you were ill, if there were any.. But, it's not a very pleasant process. He's probably avoiding you because he doesn't want you to see him in such a weak state.. And doesn't help that Alucard keeps ridiculing him."

Seras pondered this for a moment. Maybe Pip really was ashamed of his condition. After all, he hardly ever displayed frailty in front of her, unless Alucard was around that is. But even then, he never acted extremely weak. Maybe she should leave him alone.. Then again, he was in need of help, even though he was in denial.
At that moment, Pip emerged from the bathroom, rubbing his nose vigorously with the cuff of his sleeve. He paused in mid-rub when he caught Seras and Integra staring at him. Why was everybody stalking him? He just wanted to be left alone!

"Uh, hello," Pip said warily.

"Afternoon," Integra replied, again heading towards her office.

Seras watched Integra go, turning to Pip only when she was out of sight.

"Pi-"

Only, when she turned, Pip wasn't there. He was already tearing the other way.

"PIP! WAIT!" she yelled, running after him. But Pip could have gone without waiting.. Unfortunately, his body didn't give him the choice. The Captain suddenly found himself a bit dizzy and was forced to lean up against a wall to catch his breath, giving Seras a chance to catch up to him.
"Pip?"
Mr. Bernadette only shook his head as he panted sliding further down the wall. Seras immediately reached for him, to pull him up, but held up a hand and wheezed, "I juzt need to zit for a zecond… I'll be okay."

But his weak remark didn't really reassure Seras he was okay. It only made her worry. Pip was far too stubborn and prideful to admit defeat. If he was in a serious condition, she needed to know he'd tell her.

Pip could read the expression on her face like a book. She was concerned. Which… really wasn't bad. Pip liked her attention, yes.. And he would try to acquire it any spare chance he got. But, this wasn't attention.. It was pity. And that was one thing Pip would rather not have offered to him. Still, who said compromises couldn't be made?
"Zeras," he said quietly, taking his hand and gently forcing her to look at his face. "How about zis, you leave me alone when the time for Troop Practice comez along, and I promize to go ztraight to my room and zleep. All right? Iz zat good enough?"
Seras stared at how drained and haggard he looked. If she left him alone for a few measly hours, he'd go to bed and give his body a chance to recoup. Yeah, it sounded good.. The weather was nice and actually a bit hot, so he couldn't get sicker.. So maybe-
"Yes," Seras replied. "That sounds perfect."

Pip smiled at her weakly and struggled to get up. She again reached out to assist him, but he pulled away, saying softly, "I'm fine," and heaved himself up. Using the wall for a support, he managed to obtain his normally strong stride as he walked, in his hoodie and baggy jeans, to the barracks.