Chapter Two

Around midnight the party was finally starting to wind down and I was absolutely exhausted. Naturally Alice outdid herself with the reception as well, serving everybody with a lavish dinner and then having a fun-filled night of dancing. Nobody seemed like they ever wanted to leave. Thankfully, Edward never left my side once the whole night. I knew I couldn't go through the whole ordeal without him.

I plopped down into one of the deserted white chairs and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Almost all of the curls were gone by now anyways. Edward stood next to me, smiling lightly.

"You know, I'm surprised you lasted this long," Edward said.

I looked up at him with sharp eyes. "What?"

"You hate parties," He said. "I'm surprised you didn't make Alice kick everybody out sooner."

I scanned the backyard, searching for Alice. I finally spotted her chatting with Rosalie and Jasper. She still looked like she was having the time of her life. Nothing made Alice happier than throwing a party. I could never take that away from her.

I shrugged. "It made Alice happy."

"And aren't you happy?" Edward asked.

"Of course," I answered. "Just not about the party."

Edward laughed and stretched out his hand, offering it to me. I took it and he gracefully pulled me from my seat and started dancing slowly, even though there was no more music playing and we were the only ones dancing.

Halfway through our dance, my parents wandered over towards us. I broke away from Edward so my mother could give me what was probably my ninety-eighth hug from her tonight.

"I'm taking off now, honey," Renée said into my shoulder. "I can't believe I'm saying good-bye to you already." I rolled my eyes when I was still wrapped tightly in my mother's arms. She couldn't seem to believe a lot of things that happened tonight.

Charlie stepped over to me next once Renée was done with me and pulled me into an awkward hug. "I'm going to head home too."

"Okay, now you have fun in Hawaii," Renée sniffled, dabbing at her eyes again. "And you call me as soon as your plane lands. And then good luck getting settled in Alaska. Make sure you call me again once you're settled in at school."

I tried to smile as convincingly as I could. "I'll call you, I promise."

"Have fun, kids," Charlie said. "But not too much fun."

I rolled my eyes. "Dad," I groaned. "We'll be fine. I'll call you too when we land in Hawaii."

I tried my hardest to say that last line with a straight face but I couldn't get the picture of Edward and I honeymooning in Hawaii out of my head. I could just picture him sitting by the pool with me, the sun causing his skin to sparkle like it was embedded with a thousand tiny diamonds. Edward could see I was struggling to keep my composure, so he pinched my arm lightly and smiled towards my parents.

"We promise to keep in touch," Edward said. "Thank you both so much for coming. It not only meant a lot to Bella but to me as well." Edward raised my hand suddenly and kissed it. I smiled up at him warmly.

"Okay," Renée said, taking in a deep breath. "Bye Bella. I love you." She grabbed me in another bear hug. Ninety-nine hugs.

"Bye Bells," Charlie said. "I love you too."

"I love you both," I said quietly, trying desperately not to cry. "Bye."

They both gave me one last smile before they turned and walked away together. I bit my lip to keep from crying. They had no idea of course that this really was good-bye. Edward wrapped me up in his arms and held me until I was sure I was able to look up without breaking out into tears.

"It's going to be okay," Edward said quietly. "Remember, you can have as much time as you want."

I nodded my head numbly. I didn't want time. I was ready to become a part of his world. I just didn't know it was going to hurt so much when I said my good-byes. Especially since they really had no idea. Nobody did.

"So, shall we get ready for our 'honeymoon'?" Edward winked. I could tell he was trying to lighten my mood.

I managed a small laugh. "I couldn't get the mental picture of you by the poolside in sunny Hawaii with everybody around out of my head."

"That would be something," Edward agreed, leading me inside the house.

Our honeymoon to Hawaii was of course just a cover story. In fact, we weren't even going to go as far as the Cullen's house. We were going to stay here until I was sure I was ready to become a part of their family permanently. Our story of going to college in Alaska next year was just a cover story as well. Although Edward was quite sure we were still going to go to Alaska just to be safe.

Edward and I were sitting in the kitchen when Alice came inside just a moment later. "Okay," She chirped. "Almost everybody has left now. I'm just going to clean up and then the whole family's going to leave you two alone."

I suddenly felt extremely nervous. I had almost forgotten about the part of our deal before I was changed into a Vampire. Almost. Although now I was suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

"Do you want some help cleaning up?" I asked.

Alice shook her head. "Of course not. I've got everybody else. You're the bride, you shouldn't have to help. Everybody just wants to come say something to you two and then we'll be on our way. I bet you just can't wait to get out of that dress, huh Bella?" Alice said with a wink. I felt myself flush pink with embarrassment.

Alice came over to give me a hug. "You looked really beautiful today and I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you, Alice," I said, hugging her back. "For everything. You really know how to throw a party."

Alice threw back her head and laughed. "Of course. You should know that by now." She turned to Edward. "Bye Edward. We'll see you when we get back."

Edward nodded his head, his jaw clenched. I wondered what he was thinking about or if he heard something unpleasant coming from Alice's mind. But I had no time to think about it because Carlisle and Esme came in suddenly.

"Congratulations, dear!" Esme cried cheerfully. "I'm so happy you're part of our family now. Of course, you always felt like you were to me anyways."

"Thank you, Esme," I said as I gave her a hug.

Carlisle congratulated both Edward and I and then Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper came in to do the same. They had all already finished cleaning up the yard. Typical, overachieving Vampires. Edward and I both saw them out the front door as they started their mini-hunting trip just so they could give Edward and I some privacy.

As soon as they were gone, Edward turned to face me. He seemed to be taking in the emotions playing across my face. He looked into my eyes and smiled softly. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes," I nodded. "Can we go upstairs? To talk?"

"Of course," He said. He scooped me up into his arms effortlessly and leaned in to kiss me softly and then he was off. We were in his bedroom in a matter of seconds. He set me down on the ground gently.

"I really need to get this dress off," I said, for lack of anything better to say.

I could see the amusement flicker in Edward's eyes and I felt myself flush again. "I just meant because its uncomfortable," I said.

"I know," Edward said, a trace of laughter in his voice.

I scowled at him and started by removing my veil and my pinching high heels. I put a hand to the zipper on the back of my dress but paused there. I looked up at Edward and saw his serious expression, all signs of laughter gone.

"You are so beautiful," He whispered.

I couldn't answer, my breathing was starting to come in heavy gasps. I was frozen in place, watching him come towards me slowly. His breathing was sounding ragged as well. He wrapped his arms around my waist and drew me close against his body. My arms wound their way around his neck as he leaned in to kiss me. The familiar feeling of his cold, marble lips pressing against mine made me lose my mind. Edward deepened the kiss with more intensity than I was used to from him.

Edward's lips left mine as he began kissing along my jaw line and down my neck. I closed my eyes and my fingers knotted in his bronze hair. "I love you, Bella," He whispered against my neck. He brought his lips back up to mine for another breath-stealing kiss.

His lips brushed against mine as he spoke again. "You are my life. For you, I would do anything. I love you."

His words were simple but they meant so much to me. I stretched up to kiss him lightly on the lips. "Then show me," I whispered breathlessly.

I had thrown him for a second. "What?"

"Show me," I said quietly. "Show me how much you love me."

Edward didn't have time to say anything before I pressed my lips against his again. He responded quickly, almost eagerly, as he kissed me passionately. We both stumbled backwards to the large bed in the middle of the room where Edward continued to live up to his end of the deal.

--

The next two days passed by in a blur. I had gotten all the human experiences I had wanted in my life out of the way. I had even called Renée and Charlie and did some of my best lying about beautiful Hawaii and how much fun Edward and I were having. So I didn't know why I was still stalling.

Edward said I could take as much time as I wanted. He was in no hurry. In fact, I'm sure he'd be the happiest person in history if I told him I had changed my mind completely. But I couldn't change my mind. And now it was only a week until my birthday. I didn't want to get any older than I already was. Every minute that passed, I was a minute older than Edward. I was ready to become part of his family. I had already made my decision. So why was this so hard for me? I was just nervous, I finally decided. And the best way to deal with it was to just do it. Get it over with.

"Edward," I said quietly as we sat in the front room. "I'm ready."

He turned to look at me, his eyes curiously blank although I could hear his breathing pick up. A moment passed before he answered. "Are you sure?" He whispered.

I nodded my head. "I've been sure for awhile. I need to do it."

Suddenly Alice walked into the room, her expression somber. I knew she saw what was going to happen. "I already alerted Carlisle. He's going to come home from the hospital early but he says he trusts you completely, Edward."

Alice turned to walk away and give us a moment. "Edward, I think I'd feel best if we did this in your room," I said.

Edward stood numbly and scooped me up, whisking me upstairs. He laid me down gently on the bed and then started pacing quickly back and forth across the room. I could tell he was judging his strength but of course I could never doubt him. I knew he could do it.

"Bella," He said, standing beside me suddenly. "I will do anything you want me to do. This is going to kill me, taking away your life like this. I've come to terms with this but its still going to hurt. But I'll be here for you. I'm never once going to leave your side. You can trust me."

"I know I can trust you, Edward," I said. "This is why I want you to do it. I'm really ready."

I sat anxiously on the edge of the bed, watching Edward struggle with his emotions. I knew he was going to do it eventually. He just needed some time to work up to it. I waited patiently and quietly until he was ready. Finally he came to stand in front of me. He reached down to take my hands in his.

"I'm scared," He admitted. "I'm not ashamed of saying it but I'm ashamed of letting you down somehow. I know I said you can trust me and I know that you do. But I'm not sure I can trust myself."

I had never heard Edward talk like this before. In the whole time I had ever known him, I had never heard him admit he was scared before. About anything. I heard my heart rate pick up, wondering briefly about the danger I was in but that passed just as quickly as I had thought it. I knew I could trust him. He was the only person I would trust my life with like this.

"Edward," I said softly, placing my hands on his face so that he was forced to look at me. "Please listen to me. I'm ready, I really am. And you have nothing to be afraid of. I know you're going to do everything right. Please, just trust yourself."

Edward didn't say anything else. He came down to my level so that we were eye-to-eye. He gently stroked back my hair and touched my face, all the while his eyes never leaving mine. He leaned in slowly to kiss me gently. One of his hands stayed at my neck while the other slowly moved down my arm and then to my hand, which he tightly grasped in his own. His lips moved from my lips to my neck and then down to my collarbone.

Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion and I couldn't help but shiver slightly. I drew in a ragged breath as his lips moved back up my neck and found a resting spot. I cocked my head to the side a little bit more to allow him more room. I closed my eyes as I felt his hand give mine a comforting and gentle squeeze. A single tear escaped from my eyes as I felt his teeth graze my neck.

"Edward, I love you," I whispered as his teeth suddenly penetrated the skin on my neck.

A moment was all it took for my breathing to stop and the pain to spread. I felt my eyes open in shock and then close again in pain. My hand dropped from Edward's hold and I started twitching uncontrollably. I could feel the horribly familiar fire in my veins. It felt like my entire body was on fire and I knew that it was only going to get worse.

I felt Edward take hold of my hand again, his strong grip refusing to let me break it. "I'm here, Bella," I could hear him whisper over and over again. "I'm here. You're going to be okay. I'm here."

The pain in his voice was evident but I could do nothing to comfort him. As the night wore on, the pain only became worse and I was struggling with my thoughts. Why? Why did I want to do this? Was it really worth this pain? I knew my inner-conscious was telling me, yes it was worth it. For Edward. You're doing this all for Edward. You know you would rather go through this pain than not having him in your life at all.

Throughout the night, I could hear various people enter the room but I couldn't acknowledge them. Sometimes I couldn't even figure out who it was. The pain was too much to bear. I could focus on nothing but the burning fire in my veins. I did recognize Carlisle's voice, however, when he came into the room. I even caught a little of their conversation as I screamed in agony.

"You did everything right," Carlisle whispered, obviously reassuring Edward that nothing would go wrong. "It's going to take three days for the pain to stop, as you know. The only thing you can do is be there for her."

"I just can't take the screaming," I heard Edward's voice break. I'm so sorry, Edward! I desperately thought. I'll try and stop screaming. I hated hearing him sound like that. He should never have to sound like that because of me.

Unfortunately my body was not listening to my mind. Somehow I knew I wouldn't be able to connect the two. I tried futility to stop the screaming but I just couldn't. The fire was only growing stronger as time wore on. Words were spilling out of my mouth that I had no control over, that I didn't really mean.

"Edward!" I screamed. "Please, make it stop! Please, please do something! I can't do this! Just end it, please end it! I don't want to live anymore, please end it!" I could feel myself thrashing around but Edward's hand never left mine. Sometimes I could feel him holding me down when I would tremble violently.

I lost all track of time, of days. The only thing I could concentrate on was the pain. Eventually I even forgot Edward was there altogether, even though I could still feel somebody holding me down. There were times when I was conscious enough to hear people in the room but they were completely unrecognizable to me. I couldn't make out anything anymore and it was becoming nearly impossible to hear anything over the screaming.

The blazing fire in my veins was not cooling off. I felt like it had been going on for years, rather than days. I thought that it all had to end soon. Please let it end. Death had to be easier than this. Suddenly a new wave of pain washed through my body. This was even worse than the fire, yet I couldn't describe it. The fire in my veins was still there but it felt like everything in my body was hardening, was freezing over. I screamed louder than I had before, my trembling now becoming so violent that not even Edward could hold me down.

I could hear him call for Carlisle and then I heard Carlisle's gentle voice. "She's nearing the end," He said softly. "It won't be long now but the pain is only going to worsen until then."

This pain was worse than anything I had experienced over the last couple of days. This pain could not even be compared to anything. I knew now that death had to be easier. I screamed it out loud constantly, praying for something to just take me away from this pain. But just then, I broke through the pain enough to hear Edward's constant stream of reassurances. And that was enough to keep me going.

It only took a couple more hours. The pain was winding down, was becoming less harsh. I found myself becoming more still as I lay there, waiting for it all to completely subside. I was beginning to remember everything again. I was in Edward's bedroom and he was still sitting beside me, still holding my hand and talking to me. I still couldn't find the strength to open my eyes yet however.

And then, just as soon as it had started, it was gone. The pain was gone. I felt…different. Strange and new and like I wasn't myself. But the pain was gone. That was all that mattered. I found myself giving Edward's hand a light squeeze and I could sense I had his attention.

"Bella?" He whispered.

I struggled through all my thoughts, wondering who I was now. But first things first, I had to open my eyes. I rolled my head over to where I knew Edward was sitting. I reached out my other hand, searching for him. I could feel him grasp my free hand and clutch it against his face. I wanted to see him. I missed his angel's face.

Just the thought of Edward sent me over the edge. I missed him so much. My eyes flitted open as I finally saw him, his anxious and worried face just inches from mine. I found myself smiling as soon as I saw him. And I knew that it was all worth it.