Once Upon Something
Author's notes: Yaay! Baby Lee pooped!! Haha… I mean thanks for those who reviewed…! I think being hyper is good sometimes… I'm so high in sugar that I thought I would burst if I didn't do any updates! Oh well, the real thing will start here… yeah… the potato chip prince charming!! Hehehe…
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto—just the potato chip prince charming… okay?!
Story 02: The Legend of the Potato Chip Prince
By: Uchiha Sasuke with special endings from H.S. and U.N.
"Once upon a time, there was a very handsome prince with black hair as black as the night, sharp onyx eyes and God endeared him so Kami-sama gave him wit and strength." (Sasuke in prince attire on top of a cliff… wind blowing his long red cape.)
(Sasuke: hot bishie pose…)
"Nii-chaaan!! Isn't he the potato chip prince?!" Tenten complained. Choji just nodded while munching his 2nd pack of potato chips.
Sasuke sighed. 'Yeah. Right. A potato chip prince.'
"Aah. A potato chip prince." He grabbed the book nearby. He read the title and opened it.
"Once upon a time, there was a very handsome prince with black hair as black as the night, sharp onyx eyes and God endeared him so Kami-sama gave him wit and strength…"
"Nii-chaaaaan!!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Aah. He is the prince of Potato Land. He is the mighty—" He looked around. No Sakura. No Naruto. Just the kids.
"He is Popo-sama."
"Ooh… sounds handsome!" Ino squealed.
The kids then imagined Sasuke's Popo-sama. (Sasuke standing on a cliff, wearing a round costume—a potato costume, only his head, arms and feet are exposed. Wind blowing his long red cape.)
'Oh crap. What's the connection of high and mighty potato chip prince to Little Red Riding Hood?' He scanned the next page. He cleared his throat.
"One day, Popo-sama went out of his palace to visit his sick grandmother. To escape, he covered his head with red cloth and tied it under his chin and escaped. He has a basket of food with him."
"He jumped from the window of his room and ran on the woods…" Shino looked at the ceiling. "I wonder how Popo-sama jumped…his body is round and big…"
"Baka. Of course he bounced like a big basketball!" Shikamaru exclaimed. (All of them will imagine Sasuke in a potato costume bouncing)
"Ahh… Very clever." Kiba commented.
"On his way to an old house, A wolf saw him—"
"It's a werewolf nii-chan." Kiba corrected "Arf! Arf!" Akamaru seconded. Sasuke just rolled his eyes. He must be patient. "Aah. A werewolf. Right." (A teenage Kiba with Akamaru on his head will appear on the scene, hiding on the bushes.)
"The werewolf planned to eat the prince. So he rushed on the house and ate the grandmother." Tenten looked at Hinata. "Now I know werewolves don't eat kids. They eat potatoes."
"When Popo-sama arrived at the house, he saw a big thing lying on his grandma's bed. "Oohohohoo!! Popo-kun!!" his grandmother exclaimed upon seeing him entering the house.
"I brought you some food, baa-chan…" he placed the basket on the table and went near his grandmother's bed. He stopped when he saw something wrong.
"baa-chan… why are your ears so big?" he asked. "So that I can hear your voice, dear." Popo-sama, being too trustful of his loving grandmother, he stepped closer. Kiba pulled the blanket closer, revealing his fingers.
"Baa-chan, why are your hands so big…and your fingernails so long?" He asked. 'Oh man! He saw my fingers!!' the wolf panicked.
"Werewolf!!" Kiba complained again. "Arf! Arf!" Akamaru seconded—again.
"Baa-chan, why are your hands so big…and your fingernails so long?" He asked. 'Oh man! He saw my fingers!!' the werewolf panicked.
"Ohooho! So that I could hold you tighter!" The wolf—err—werewolf said. On the same path that Popo-sama took, there was a little lady in red going to the same house. She has pink hair which was braided neatly on both sides, she's holding a basket of food.
"Lalalalala…lalala…" she sang while walking her way towards the house. Little did she know that there's someone behind the woods, keeping an eye at her. "I'll eat her for sure!" The blond wolf exclaimed. (Sakura in little red riding hood costume walking and Naruto hiding behind some bush…)
The blond fox rushed to the house to eat the little girl's grandmother but…
"Baa-chan, why do you have big eyes?" Popo-sama asked. "Baka!! So that I could see you clearly!!" The grandma exclaimed. "Arf! Arf!!"
"Hey. Why there's a dog barking?" Shikamaru pointed out. Sasuke just pointed Kiba and Akamaru who is pinching him on his back to say that the wolf barked. "Werewolves are mighty dogs. They bark." Kiba defended.
"Uh… okay."
"Baa-chan… why do you have big teeth?!" Popo-sama asked.
"Is he stupid?! Of course it's not his grandmother! If it's his grandma…then he should look the same as her!" Ino said while glaring at Sasuke. "I wanted a kissing scene!!"
"Kissing scene of the wolf and Popo-sama?" Choji asked. "It's werewolf." Kiba added. Sasuke rolled his eyes for the nth time that day. He can't withstand the stupidity of kids… he needs a break. Then Sakura and Naruto arrived with Baby Lee.
"Good timing…" he said. "Yeah. We'll listen." Naruto said while sitting in line with the kids. He looked at Sakura and the pink-haired girl smiled at him. He sighed and continued.
"Baa-chan, why do you have big eyes?" Popo-sama asked.
"No...not there… we're in the big teeth part nii-chan." Shino said attentively. "Yeah. Right. The big teeth. Good boy…" Sasuke smiled. Sakura just looked at him.
"Baa-chan… why do you have big teeth?!" Popo-sama asked.
Then there was silence. The mighty Potato prince Popo-sama gulped. The werewolf stood up and opened his arms… "So that I can eat—"
The door opened.
Both of them looked. It's another wolf. A blonde wolf with blue eyes, red tail and whisker-like marks on his face.
Everybody looked at Naruto. The boy just narrowed his eyes as if he's sleeping. "So I'm the bad wolf after all…"
"What the—why are there other people in here?! Where's the lil' girl's granny?!" The werewolf smirked. I ate her already.
Then there's the deadly silence again inside the house.
The red wolf smiled. "Then I'll eat him."
The dog smirked. "He's my dinner, ya' know."
"It's not a dog!! It's a werewolf!!" Kiba cried.
Let's erase that… I really mean the mighty werewolf smirked. "He's my dinner, ya' know." (looks at Kiba… Kiba smiled.)
"Hn." The potato prince smirked evilly…
"EH? Why did you say 'evilly'?" Sakura asked. "The prince is cool… he's not afraid." Sasuke said in a cool voice. (That's because he thinks he's Popo-sama…)
The two wolves went out of the house as well as the prince. "here, you'll die!!" The prince exclaimed. The black-haired boy inserted his hand on his cape—
"He's going to draw out a sword!" The red wolf warned the other.
"…" the wind blew hard… his red cape flew with the air.
SILENCE…
(Close up view of Popo-sama's eyes.)
…
Sound of birds chirping…
…
(Close up view of the red wolf's blue eyes)
…
(close up view of Choji…munching a pack of potato chips…)
…
"Hyaaaaaaaaaaah!!"
…
"Then Popo-sama bought out a pack of potato chips…" Choji said before Sasuke could say that the mighty prince withdrew a sword.
And so… The prince bought out a pack of potato chips and ran inside the house.
It's bad for Sasuke… the kid just messed his story. He should do something about it. He scanned the book and saw a fighting scene of the hunter and the wolf. Hmm… great.
The wolves tried to blow the house… (From another story of the pigs and wolves, eh?) Then someone came to the rescue. It's a man with black hair and black eyes—the same as popo-sama's.
"Aniue." The prince hissed. As he looked at the window. "Foolish little brother…" The hunter spoke.
"Ooh… They're siblings huh…" Ino rolled at the furry carpet.
The hunter stabbed the two wolves on their chest and the prince went out. "Foolish little brother.. I'll be the one to kill you."
"Hn. I'll rip your spine out first."
"Oi Sasuke… that's brutal! They're just kids!" Sakura said as she shook Baby Lee in her arms… "I'll rip your spine out first!!" Choji raised his potato chips towards Kiba, imitating Sasuke's big voice. "I'll rip it and turn it into potato chips!!"
The two tried to kill each other, the prince with his mighty well, potato sword while the hunter with his ax. Then both of them were badly wounded.
"Nii-chan… the kissing scene!! Romance!!" Ino pouted. Sasuke rolled his eyes. "This will do. Hmmm… the girl arrived at the house and saw the prince wounded. She fell in love with him but he died."
"Don't leave!!" the pink-haired girl cuddled the nearly-dead body of the potato chip prince. Water flooded from her emerald eyes.
Everybody looked at Sakura. Sakura shrugged. "Hn. It's just a coincidence that the girl has pink hair and green eyes…" he said defensively.
"I… I…" The prince tried to speak. "Shh…" The girl placed her finger in his lips then—
"Then?" Ino asked. "Oh c'mon! They'll kiss! Oh man…" Shikamaru received a deadly glare from Ino. "No. The prince died." Sasuke said. "How lame… you don't know the meaning of romance!!" Ino yelled.
"I don't think that should be the ending…" Naruto suddenly spoke. "How about the red wolf? The cool blonde wolf?!"
"Ehem…" he cleared his throat. "Here's what should be the ending…I'll give you the romance you don't have, Sasuke-teme…"
While the red wolf is walking towards the house, he saw people inside so he just looked at the window and watched the prince and the werewolf kill each other.
"What a coward…" Shino murmured.
But luckily, both of them died.
"What?!" Choji exclaimed.
"The cool red wolf dragged the bodies outside the house and waited for the little girl to come… he then heard someone entered the room.
"Baa-chan…"
"The wolf looked at the girl as she removed the red hood from her head. Pink locks break free. (Sakura with her long hair… Naruto is in the bed, looking at the girl. Bubbles and sparkling things everywhere…)
The wolf's heart suddenly raced. He could hear it.
Tuug-tuug!
Tuug-tuug!
Tuug-tuug!
Tuug-tuug!
He fell in love with the girl. "Baa-chan… why do you have big ears?" she asked. "so I could hear your sweet voice…"
"Why do you have big eyes?"
"So that I could see your true beauty…"
The girl stood beside the bed. "Why do you have fangs?" the wolf just kept quiet. The girl saw his gorgeousness and handsomeness.
"You're not a wolf…" she whispered. Then a puff of smoke appeared. The wolf turned into a handsome man. "You freed me from my curse…" he said.
Tears started to flow from the girl's emerald eyes… "Why do you have fangs?" she asked once more. The guy held her neck and whispered into her ear "So that I could eat you…" he then kissed the girl passionately and the lights turned off and—
Whapaaaaaaak!
"ECCHI!!" Sakura screamed after hitting Naruto hard. "They're just kids you know!!" veins popping on her fist. Baby Lee giggled. Naruto glared at the baby.
"So that I could eat you…" Shikamaru whispered near Ino's ears…
Whapaaaaaaak!
"HENTAI!!" Ino hit Shikamaru straight to the face. Shikamaru glared at Ino… "I'm looking at the potato chips… not you!!" (An arrow will pass through Ino pointing towards Choji's potato chips)
"Not in a million years." Shikamaru added.
"Hmp. You don't know the TRUE meaning of being romantic!!" Sakura exclaimed. She cleared her throat. "ehem…"
"This is how it should be…"
"What the—why are there other people in here?! Where's the lil' girl's granny?!" The werewolf smirked. I ate her already.
Then there's the deadly silence again inside the house.
The red wolf smiled. "Then I'll eat him."
The dog smirked. "He's my dinner, ya' know." "He's mine!!" the other one exclaimed. He chased the newly arrived wolf outside the house. The handsome prince just stared from the window. He then saw the two wolves fell on a cliff.
"Non-sense death… they just fell." Shino commented. The girls are shooting daggers at him so he just hid half of his face on the standing collar of his shirt.
The prince then unzipped his potato costume and turned into his regular clothing. He saw a beautiful girl (referring to herself) coming to the house so he went to the bed and hid himself under the sheets.
"baa-chan… I brought you some food."
"Hn."
"baa-chan?" the girl removed her red hood and set free her hair. She walked near the bed and when the prince looked at her, he felt a tight grip on his heart.
Tuug-tuug!
Tuug-tuug!
Tuug-tuug!
Tuug-tuug!
He blushed.
She blushed.
The prince sat on the bed and looked at the girl. "Who are you?" he asked. "I'm little red riding hood." She said with a smile.
"I… I…"
"but… it's wrong."
"…?"
"My story doesn't have romance!!" she was startled when the handsome prince with balck hair and black eyes hugged her.
"Just ask who really I am…"
Blushing, she asked. "Then who are you?" their faces were near each other. "I'm…"
"You're…?"
"Robin Hood?" Ino asked.
"Anno… H-Hercu-hercules?" Hinata said.
"Waaaah…" Baby Lee giggled on her arms. Sakura put the baby down…
"Just ask who really I am…"
Blushing, she asked. "Then who are you?" their faces were near each other. "I'm…"
"You're…?"
"I'm your prince charming."
Sakura looked at Sasuke blushing. Sasuke just stared at her… well, having a light tint of pink on his cheeks. Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Hmmm…"
Sakura stood up went near Sasuke to get baby Lee… their faces went nearer…
And nearer…
….
…
…
Tuug-tuug…
…
And nearer…
…
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!" Ino Squealed. Everybody looked at her. "Baby Lee pooped—again!!" Sakura rolled her eyes and sighed.
Sakura looked at him. She smiled too. "Hn. Let's try to change his diaper…" He volunteered. "That's better…" then they left the kids to Naruto.
(Kneading his head) Sakura-chaaaaaaan!! Ino jumped at Naruto's lap hitting the—
"AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!"
well, the right spot—again.
Notes: Well, that's for the second chapter of Once Upon Something… this fic is about how Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto mess up some literary works to entertain the kids—coz the kids will get bored if they'll tell them the real story. There's a lot more to come but before that… well, I think I should work on Hamlet and Juliet first...
Sore ja!
moO-cchi