HUGE thanks to all the reviewers!! I love you all!
I don't have writers block for this chapter, so hopefully you'll enjoy it more. Wow…that was lame grammar…
You know what? Just forget I said that…
Chapter 4
In the past, all I had ever wanted was someone next to me. Someone who I could walk around with, drawing the eyes of others in pure envy, girls and boys alike. Someone who could be my trophy, someone who wouldn't mind being dragged around in a tizzy, as long as they were next to me. Like…a toy. It just so happened that every girl I'd ever been with never minded being dragged around. Sure, they cried when I dumped them in the end. But they eventually got over it. Then, I moved on to the next.
But now I was stuck. It was like I had tripped and fallen flat on my face, and I couldn't get up. Because she was there, holding me down, breaking into my skin. Every ounce of composure, self-control, and ego I had worked so hard to develop had completely deflated when I met Kory Anders. I was suddenly a babbling fool, and I had nothing to do but gawk at her. I was in over my head, completely obsessed, and totally spellbound. And the worst part was, she knew it, too.
So I had come up with a plan to have my way. It was foolish and stupid, but I would stop at nothing to have her. I would pretend I had moved on (since I hadn't been in contact with her for a week), and start dating other girls. They would be my trophy, and I would be rubbing them in her face. In the end, out of annoyance or jealously, she just might give in.
So, to put my plan into action, I found two dates for the next week. Katherine Moth and Kim Anders. Katherine, or Kitten, the classic slut, was just the girl I needed to begin to break down Kory's equanimity. Kory would begin to wonder why I chose Kitten instead of her, thinking I thought Kitten was better. After the ego-smashing begins, I move onto Kim. Kim, Kory's sister, was perfect for the job of rubbing me in Kory's face. As I had found out, the two siblings despised each other, and rarely spoke. If they truly hated each other that much, Kim would want to make Kory's life miserable any way she could. Kim wouldn't be able to resist rubbing a hot guy in her sister's face.
Not entirely foolproof, but something should come out of it.
Day One
Plan destroy-Kory's-ego is in action. Today, I was flirting with Kitten in art class, right in front of Kory's nose. She didn't seem to notice, but I'm sure she couldn't help but hear my enticing words. At lunch, I decided to walk Kitten around campus. I knew Kory usually liked to listen to music under a tree on campus, so we began our journey there. And there she was, sitting under the tree, closing her eyes and listening to her iPod. It took every ounce of self-control not to scream out her name in both pain and pleasure. She was so fucking gorgeous. It made me insane with every emotion I knew existed, and it hurt like nothing ever could.
Inside I was screaming, crying, and laughing. But outside, I was carefully composed, flirting intently with Kitten. We were on a table near the tree Kory was under, and Kitten kept screeching when I kissed her. Damn, she was annoying. But it worked. Eventually Kory looked back at us…with a huge scowl on her face.
"Do you mind?" she had said. Kitten immediately pouted, sticking her tongue out at Kory, who just rolled her eyes.
Well, like I said, not foolproof.
Day Three
Stupid, stupid, stupid! I honestly can not believe what came out of my mouth. Was I really that desperate?
It had been going smoothly, even though Kory hadn't showed any sign of jealously. Or, of any emotion for that matter. She didn't seem to care. So, I was getting pretty fed up with her attitude. I was walking Kitten to her classroom, me being the gentlemen I was, hand-in-hand. On our way there, we passed Kory sitting down, working on some paper. Not thinking, I stopped dead in my tracks, pulling Kitten to a sudden stop.
"Jealous yet?" At first, I thought I had just thought it in my mind. But then Kory looked around, wondering who had spoken. That's when I thought 'Oh shit…' and started to walk away.
Kitten was grumbling about something when Kory's voice rang through my ears. "No," she said. "Try harder."
I almost laughed. But, then again, I almost cried. I wanted to believe my plan was ruined, that she had figured it out. But my heart told me otherwise.
Day Five
New girl, Kim Anders, on my arm. She was pretty, with long black hair and dark eyes. She looked like Kory, but less exotic. Less alluring. She had a bigger ego than me, and wasn't at all wary of being close to me. She was constantly rubbing up against me, trying to get as close as possible. I didn't mind, as long as Kory was there to see it. But otherwise, I didn't like the feel of another girl next to me other than Kory.
So, we 'accidentally' bumped into Kory. We were walking together around campus, and we found Kory reading on a bench. Kim instantly scowled at the sight of her sister, pulling me closer to her. She stopped in front of her, our shadow towering over Kory. She didn't look up for a while, but Kim didn't move. At first I thought she didn't even know we were there, too caught up in her book to notice. But then she turned to page, turning the corner of the paper and closing the book. She looked up at us with distant eyes, blinking tiredly.
"What?" she asked, looking back and forth between us. Kim tensed, making a sound that sounded like a hiss.
"Jealous, sis?" Kim asked. I almost laughed.
Kory smiled at her. Smiled a sincere smile. After staring at Kim for a while, happy as a puppy, she looked at me.
Staring me dead in the eye, she spoke out clear and sure. "Of what?"
That night, I let it out for the first time ever. I cried, I laughed, I screamed. I did it all until my throat was dry, until my mind was numb, and until I forgot. Until I woke up, and I remembered.
Day Seven
It's over.
I will never have her, and I might as well stop trying to prove the impossible. I hate her for it, yet I love her at the same time. I hate her for not wanting me, for being so cruel when she knew I was suffering. Yet, I loved her because she was the first to make me want to try. She was the first…everything. First true love, first true obsession, first true addiction. Because every other love, obsession, and addiction wasn't true… Drugs, sex, violence: all just part of my life.
I was at the local bar, alone. Alone because I didn't feel like having someone next to me. Alone because I didn't want to be. I was drinking away my sorrows, trying to get drunk enough to forget about Kory. But then I started to hear her voice…I was sure it was hers. So I looked around for her, expecting to find her waiting for me at the other end of the booth. I looked around, and I found her at the end of the dance floor. There she was, even though I didn't want to believe it, grinding and bumping against another man with that same elegance and grace that made me melt.
I wanted to punch him with every ounce of strength left in me. But instead I found myself slowly walking up to them, ignoring the shoves I got from the annoyed crowd. I walked up to them, and Kory saw me from the corner of her eye. Bending her hips, she pressed her back against his stomach, one arm on her hip with the other on his cheek. An utterly sexy pose that made me hot with lust.
"Jealous yet?"
As she began to dance against him and his arms began to snake along her body, I began to walk away. I swear I yelled it, screamed it at the top of my lungs. But all that came out was a soft whisper, "Yes."
And I swear I heard her sardonic laugh thunder through my head.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Questions, comments, and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated! Oh, sardonic means mocking, if you don't already know.