Once again, I had taken to locking myself in our room, crying myself to sleep each night. I felt in every way responsible for the media finding out about Bill and I. I also felt responsibly for the abrupt break up of the band; causing us to lose two of our closest friends. It had to be months that I spent in that room. I couldn't believe that we really were dropped by Jost and that we were done for musically. Our dream of being rock stars forever was shattered due to me so I took it out on myself. I don't think that Bill could take seeing me like that anymore. It was wearing on him and slowly, he stopped trying altogether.

On one particular morning, I woke up abruptly. I could sense something and I had the sinking feeling that something was quite wrong. It felt as though the world was out of place. I was right. I was dead on, to be exact. Sitting up slowly, I exited my bed, only dressed in my boxers like usual. I felt cold and hollow, and I had absolutely no idea why but it was a feeling that I couldn't shake for the life of me.

"Bill?" I called out, my voice hoarse and shaky.

No answer.

"BILL?!" I yelled once more, much louder.

Still no answer.

With my heart in my throat, I continued out of our room and into the kitchen, my mind switching rapidly through the endless possibilities, fixating on the worst. It was once I entered the kitchen that my worst fear had been realized. A small sheet of paper held to the refrigerator by a magnet sent me into cardiac arrest. Upon reading the note, I fell to my knees, screaming and crying out in pain.

Tomi,

I'm sorry.

-Bill

It was something that I couldn't imagine would EVER happen. Bill and I had an unbreakable bond, yet Bill was trying his best to break it. He had been since we were officially together. I just hadn't realized until that moment that he had been trying his best all along to escape and now he finally did it.

I don't know how long I lied there, collapsed on the kitchen floor, screaming at the top of my lungs as the knife in my back somehow worked its way in deeper. I didn't care to make note of how long I was there. There was no one to comfort me and snap me back to reality like their used to be. No Georg or Gustav; they were disgusted by me. No Bill to run out from behind a corner screaming, "Fooled ya!" There was no one. I had no one. I had nothing.

I didn't eat or do anything for days straight. I was slowly wearing my self away but it didn't matter. I would spend my days and nights curled up on Bill's old bed, holding on to whatever Bill had left behind. One day, I came across a note in his dresser drawer. I knew immediately that it was in Bill's handwriting.

Tomi,

I'm so sorry I did this to you but you must understand that I did it for us. When we are together again we'll be safe from the media and all harm. You trust me, right? I had to do this, Tom. I had no other choice. You'll be able to find me, Tom. I know that you will. Until then, don't cry. We'll be together when fate works its way.

-Bill

I couldn't make sense of it at all. Was this some sort of sick joke of his that he was laughing up right now? How the hell was I supposed to know where he could possibly be? For shit's sake, he could have been on the fucking moon for all I knew. I had to try and find him, though. Bill and I were supposed to be together and I was more than determined to keep it that way. Perhaps this was just a way to lure me out of my room.

I quickly gathered up my things and threw them in a few suitcases. After that was done and I was all packed, I had to really think hard about where he would have run off to. There were too many places we had been to. I knew he wouldn't be anywhere that would be easy for me to find. He had to have been somewhere that I wouldn't think he would be. I didn't know at all so I just got in my Escalade and drove.

Now, I didn't think that Bill would go too far away from me so that I actually had a chance of finding him. I decided that I should start by just driving to the opposite end of Berlin. I checked into a hotel and left my stuff in the room, heading out to begin my "quest," if you will. Walking around the city, I searched everywhere visible and even headed into a few shops to try and find him.

I ended up in one of the more popular parts of the city and night had begun to creep up on me. Stopping dead in my tracks, I looked around, disbelief possessed my eyes. Surrounding me, there were gigantic Tokio Hotel posters covering billboards and buildings around me. There were teams of people positioned at each one, taking them down. The reminders of my past had me circled and I was victim to their will. My knees hit the ground before I could think. I let out a load scream as my emotional pain started to kill me from inside and then everything went black.

And that's exactly when I woke up, sitting straight up in my bed; a layer of sweat on my brow. Panting heavily, I took a look around the room that my brother and I shared. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I saw my younger brother lying next to me. He had woken up after I had nearly fallen out of the bed. He grabbed onto my shoulder and yanked me down to lie next to him. I gasped at the sight of his sparkling brown eyes.

"Go back to sleep, stupid." He mumbled, his eyes closing slowly; much to my dismay.

I couldn't help my self but knot my fingers in his jet black hair. Slowly, I closed what little space there was between us, kissing him as if my life depended on it. Bill didn't kiss back. Something was wrong. Each time I tried to kiss him, he felt like he was slowly slipping through my fingers like sand until he disappeared completely.

And that's when I really woke up. It had be a week since I'd been searching and there was still no sign of my Bill. Sighing heavily, I sat up in my bed, rubbing my eyes. Swinging my legs off the side of my bed, I jumped out and headed out the door. I spent the nights in my bed fully dressed. I had no time to waste getting dressed in the morning.

I searched everywhere I could. I was even checking dumpsters until I realized how stupid it was. Bill was a diva and there was no way in hell he would do something like that. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I continued through every street. Every street, every shop, every hotel, every alleyway, everywhere I could think of. Still no Bill.

When night fell, I started heading back to my hotel to call it a night. I headed through a hardly crowded street that was lined with bars and drunken men looking to score with anything that had boobs. The street was dark, lacking street lights. It also held a feeling that a few too many lives were ended there; and not by choice.

As I continued to walk down the street, I made the mistake of making eye contact with a group of men that looked to be in their early 20's. One of them, the leader of their little "gang" I'm guessing, stepped forward. His hair was long and blonde, held back by a pony tail. His eyes were a deep green and the look on his face was murderous.

"What the fuck are you looking at, boy?" He yelled to me.

"S-Sorry." I quickly apologized, keeping my head down. I continued to walk down the street, making sure not to look anywhere but my own two feet.

"Don't you fucking walk away from me, asshole. I'm not fucking finished with you ye-" He started. When I turned around, he caught a glimpse of my face, immediately recognizing me. "Well look what we got here, boys. That little fag, wannabe rock star we saw on TV!" He called to his gang, never losing eye contact with me.

"That's the one who fucks his own brother!" One of the lower members screamed out, pointing a finger at me.

I gulped. My eyes were locked with the leader's. His eyes held me paralyzed with fear. I tried so hard to move my feet but they were glued to the pavement. Immediately, images of Bill started flashing through my head and the fear I had started to increase.

"I-I-I d-don't w-w-want any t-t-trouble…" I stuttered, my feet still firmly rooted.

"Aww look, he's scared!" Yelled out another member, followed by the whole group's laughter.

"We don't take very well to your kind 'round here." The leader let out, his face contorting into something that would haunt your dreams for the rest of your life.

His eyes broke their contact with mine as he turned around to face his gang. As soon as he turned around, the spell on me wore off and I started to back away, still too afraid to run. He signaled them and they all charged forward towards me.

Before I knew it, I was on the ground, letting out loud screams and cries of pain as their fists and feet made contact with my body. I tried so hard to crawl away but one of them pressed their foot down into my back sharply, forcing me down. I closed my eyes, tears spilling out anyways as I screamed with each hit or kick, praying to god that my brother would come and rescue me.

I opened my eyes for half a second to see one of them pull out a wooden baseball bat. A smirk formed on his face when he saw the look of shock and pain on my face. They rolled me up to look up into the empty sky and within seconds the wooden bat made contact with my ribs. A sharp crack echoed through the night as I felt my ribs break. I let out a deafening scream and closed my eyes, fighting with everything I could to get away.

One of them moved over to me quickly, sitting on my chest, sending unbearable pain through all of me. I let out another scream and, in an effort to shut me up, his fist made contact with my jaw, followed by my face, my stomach and anywhere he could find, including my broken ribs. It was too much for me to handle and I started coughing up blood. They were finally satisfied when I was left with a broken leg to accompany my ribs. My eyes were swollen and discolored. They finally left the street, laughing at my pain and misery.

I just lied there, whimpering and crying in pain. I was in unfamiliar territory and once again I had no one to help me. There was no one to call police or even an ambulance. I somehow managed to maneuver myself onto all fours, hissing at the pain from my broken leg. Slowly, I started to drag myself towards the nearest bar. I was so messed up that not even my own mother could recognize me now.

There was a loud crack in the sky as rain started to pour down, stinging as it sunk into my wounds. When I was closer to my destination, I gasped at the sight before my eyes. My prayers were finally answered. I couldn't believe it when I saw Bill exit the bar. Tears started to pour from my eyes, mixing with the rain. Though I was in extreme pain, I could only feel happiness at the sight before me.

"Bill…" I tried to call out. My voice was hoarse from all the screaming and the damage done to me so it only came out as little more than a whisper.

His head snapped up and he looked around to see where the sound was coming from. I tried so hard to call out to him, to tell him that his Tom had found him but I couldn't produce any sound. When Bill assured himself that he was just hearing things, he continued on his way. I knew right then and there that I had to get to him.

I dragged my way to him and latched my hand around his ankle, causing him to trip. He looked down at me, a stranger in his eyes. I tried my best to let lose the words that would confirm my identity but all that I could get out was heavy breathing mixed with a series of loud sobs.

"Get the fuck off of me you creep!" He screamed as he freed his ankle, sending a sharp kick into my stomach, causing me to let out another cry of pain.

With that, he was on his way down the street. Finally the pain was too much for me and my body collapsed onto the pavement. I watched as he disappeared around the corner. All I could do was let out soundless cries as the tears only dripped from my eyes.

"Bill…" I whispered softly after he had disappeared. Right after, I felt myself slowly slipping away and everything went black as I was left in the street for dead.