Chapter two:Birth and infancy

My son came to me with the morning light. My light of hope...Mommy is waiting for you, Hikaru... for you to one day accept my love...

"Good morning, I have an appointment." Hinata said to the receptionist. The welfare facility seemed less crowded today. A pretty woman walked out of her office and smiled sweetly. "Hello, Mrs. Hyuuga, and Hikaru! Please, come in!" she said cheerfully. She opened her office door wider. "It's been a year cince the last time we spoke. We didn't have much time then..." she said, letting them into the office. She shut the door. "I was wrried, so I called and tried to visit, but you were never home." she said, sitting down in her chair. Hinata sighed sadly. "I'm sorry. I couldn't believe it, so pretended not to be home. I didn't want to believe Hikaru was autistic..." she said, teary-eyed. Ari frowned sympatheticlly. "Oh, Hinata, I pass out the info to anyone who asks what autism is... You mst have been shocked." she said sadly. Hinata put Hikar down with his blacks and began to cry. "Yes. I was in denial, but my worried continued. I didn't think I could take it anymore so I..." she stopped and put her head in her hands. "What kind of worries?" asked Ari. Hinata looked up shamefully. "Well, the other day at the memorial service, he started crying when the chant started. It wasn't like he was scared of the situation. He was screaming like hell and sarted hitting his wn head. We couldn't stay in thee, so I took him outside. But my husband ignored me, and his aunt blamed me..." she glanced at Hikaru who was quiet and busy. "Hikaru didn't understand what was going on and was playing with rocks in the rain. I was alone and pathetic." she sobbed. Ari wrote something down on her clip board. "You had a rough time, huh?" she asked sadly. She glanced at her files. "You had other concerns, right?" she asked, leaning to touch Hinata's hand. Hinata nodded. "He doesn't sleep at night, and he eats he same thing. He can't get out of diapers, and he won't even look at me... And he hasn't said a word yet..." she closed her eyes and let the tears flow down her cheeks. "He's almost 3, and he hasn't even said 'Mommy' yet... That hurts the most..." she sobbed. "I'm worried that he doesn't approve of me as his mother..." she added. Ari stood up and smiled. "But, you've worked hard alone up until now, right?" Hinata looked up. "From now on, I want you to rely on us. You'll feel better just by discussing the situation. I'll make an appointment with a specialist. Don't skip this one like last year." she laughed. Hinata nodded. Ari smiled and pet Hikaru's head. "We'll figure this out together." she giggled.

Ari, Hinata, and Hikaru walked down the long hallway to the facility entrance/exit. There was a noise in a room. "Oh, looks like class has ended." Ari said cheerfully. "Class?" Hinata asked. The room opened up and mothers and childern walked out smiling. The kids were all Hikaru's age. "So, I will see you later, Hinata. In the meantime," Ari was cut short as Hinata was pulled back by her umbrella. She feel to the floor and looked up at a little boy the size of Hikaru. A woman ran over in a panick. "Hiroki!! No!!" she helped Hinata up. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" she asked, flustered. Hinata nodded, surprised. The little boy exmined the umbrella, and giggled. His mother took it away, and sighed. "No, sweetie. This isn't yours! Give it back!" she held up a green and blue umbrella. "This one is yours!" she coaxed. The little boy began to scream when she took it away. She turned to Hinata and gave it back, smiing widly. "He likes umbrellas, and he's really strong too. I'm so sorry, here. You can have yours bak." she apologized, handing it to Hinata. "Oh, thank you." she said, following her out the doors. The woman hopped on her bike, and ut Hiroki on the front bar. "He scared you, right? id it hurt?" she asked, concerned. Hinata shook her head. "No, no! I'm fine!" Hinata laughed. The woman smiled and waved. "I have to go now, but I'll see you later! Ari helped me too! Bye!" she peadled off into the streets. Hinata smiled slowly. "Wow, she was so open and happy. I wonder if I'll ever be like that?' she though sadly.

Home

That night Neji came home. "I'm home!" he called. Hinata was heard in the livingroom. "No, Hikaru!! Please! Get out of there!" she cried, pulling him away from the glass cabinet. "Hikaru!!" she cried. Neji walked past her ignoring her. "Oh, Neji! Welcome home! I'll heat up your dinner." she said, flustered, and sweaty. Neji wrinkled his nose. "No thanks. I already ate out." he said, monotoniously. Hinata sighed. "You should have called." she mumbled. There was a loud crash behind her and she spun around to see Hikaru playing with a broken picture frame, glass everywhere. "No Hikaru!! You'll cut your hands!!" she cried. She pulled him away. The picture of Neji and Hinata's wedding lay on the floor, abandon to be stepped on by god knows who. Neji sighed tiredly, and walked into the bathroom, where his bath was waiting. He striped and got in slowly. He rolled his eyes. "It's luke-warm." he complained to himself. Hinata was heard in the living room. "WHY DON'T YOU GET IT? DANGEROUS!" she cried.

Hinata walked into the bedroom at 1am. 'Finally, he fell asleep...' she thought, exausted. She frowned. Neji was asleep. 'I really wanted to talk to him...' she thought sadly. She wiped a few tears from her eyes. This wasn't expected when she was told she was to marry her cousin. She was told to marry him, to bond both main and branch families, and he seemed so happy at the time... but now...

Welfare Facility

Tsunade, old and tired from her years, held up a piece of paper. Tsunade retired from being Hokage, which was a good thing, after 9 years, she decided Naruto Uzumaki deserved the job more. But to be close to the children in town, she took the job at the welfare facility. Hinata felt skeptical about such an old woman doing such tests on her child. This 83 year old woman, was still kickin it, except for the fact that old age was starting t catch up on her, but whats a few bags under the eyes, to her? Hinata gulped as Tsunade read from the test results. "Well, Hinata. From what I see, Hikaru is autistic." she said. Hinata looked down. "Is that my fault?" she asked quietly. Tsunada looked at her and laughed loudly. She laughed for a few minutes, until she caught Hinata's eye. "No! Not at all! Studies show that the causes are completely unrelated to the mother's personality or ow she raises the child." she said, smiling. Hinata smiled. 'That's what I wanted to hear the most!' she thought happily. Tsunade smiled widly. "The cause is still unkown, and it affects 1.5 to 2 people in 1000." she explained. "As a parent, you may hesitate. But every child has the ability to grow. Please believe in that! Also, please join the class here! I think it would be wonderful for Hikaru!" she said, happily. Hinata stood up. "Thank you! I will!"

Kiba and Shino's (they live together, and yes, they're gay)

Kiba handed Hinata a cup of tea. "Really? That's good. I'm sure Hikaru will do fine there." he said, smiling. "I know." she smiled. "But, Hinata." Shino sat up. "Why didn't you tell us earlier? We could have helped anytime." he said. Hinata smiled. "I was worried, that you'd baby me... I thought I could handle it myself." she said, quietly. Kiba patted his leg and Akamaru jumoed up and barked. "Hey, Akamaru's right, Hinata. We love you, and wouldn't be so protective." he said, smirking. Shino gave him a look. "YES YOU WOULD." he said, smirking under his collar. Kiba shrugged. "Ah, so what?" Hinata laughed. "But, Hinata? What about Neji? He's all about public image. Is he being mean to you?" Shino asked. Hinata smiled a fake smile. "No, not at all." she lied. Shino looked at her. "So, what's the 'ice prince' saying? He's helping you as a father, right?" Kiba asked, angrilly. He never liked Neji, mainly because he loved Hinata, when she was married off. "...yeah..." Hinata said quiety. Shino sat still. "...then that's good..." he muttered. Akamaru yipped. Kiba laughed. "Yeah, we'll help you too! You're married off, but depend on us, okay?" he asked smiling. Hinata smiled and drank her tea. "You guys are always too sweet..." she thanked.

"You should stay over." Shino said, walking woth Hinta to the front door. She held sleeping Hikaru in her arms. "No thanks. He doesn't like change." Hinata said, hugging her old teammates. Kiba held Akamaru and waved as she left. "Swing by more often!" he called.

That Monday, Hikaru and I started the class. There were 10 pairs of mothers and children and four nurse/counsellors, including Ari. The programmes were very detailed and accessable for Hikaru. Although, it was ard for Hikaru to do many of the things, because he was new. But, by the time the new year came, it'd been six months in class, and my baby boy turned 3.

Ari walked over to Hinata and Hikaru at the end of class. She patted Hikaru on the head and smiled warmly. "Compared to when he started, Hikaru has grown tremendously! I think he might be ready for Ninja kindergarten!" she cried, happily. Hinata smiled. "You really think so?" she asked. "You're doing so well, Hinata! You're a great mother!" Ari said, walking her outside, then disappearing back into the building. Hinata waved to her, and let her expression fall.

I feel better, now that I have friends who undrstand... But I have a secret of my own... Sometimes when Hikaru throws a tantrum, I hit him... I don't like to do it, and it breaks my heart... Am I a fail mother?

Hinata walked down the street, with Hikaru in the stroller. She seemed off in her own world, when she caught sight of someone. "Oh! Ino! Sakura! Hello." she said, surprised. Ino and Sakura waved. Ino gave her a dirty look, and Skura smiled seetly, oblivious to Ino. "Is he sick? Why is he in that stroller?" Ino asked, peering at Hikaru. Hinata shook her head. "No, he just likes to ride in it." she replied. Ino raised her eyebrows. "What are you doing, nowadays? Sometimes I see you walking down near the Welfare center." Ino stated. Sakura hugged Hinata and kissed her cheek. "Hinata, I'm sorry we couldn't go to the same school!" she said, excited to see her old friend. Hinata smiled. "Yeah, but Hikaru's autistic." she said plainly. "We attend a class the welfare facility offers." she said. Ino scrunched up her nose. "Autistic?" she asked. Sakura nodded. "Like the movie, 'Rain Man'?" she asked. Hinata nodded

I didn't want to hide it... Hikaru and I didn't do anything wrong. Bit I didn't think it would lead to that incident...

Two women stood outside the house. They looked at eachother worriedly. "It's Hikaru. He's crying again, isnt he?" the taller girl asked the smaller one. She nodded. "I heard he has a disability. I heard it from Ino, my son's classmates mother." The tall woman said. The short one gasped. "No wonder! It sounds like he's being abused, the way he screams and cries." she said, with sympathy. There was a cough behinde them and they turned with a gasp. "Oh, Mr. Hyuuga!" they both gasped. He walked past them with a glare and entered his house. The tall woman shook her head embarassedly. "Oh no, he heard us..." she said, blushing.

Neji walked into the house quietly. "I'm home." he said in a whisper. He heard the screaming and crying comming from the living room, and walked down the hallway. He entered to a usual sight and rolled his eyes.

"No Hikaru!" Hinata sighed. The little one kicked and screamed, edging away from his mother. Hinata was trying drastically to get Hikaru's pyjamas on. "Please Hikaru, your other pyjamas aren't dry yet." she said, frustrated. She turned her head to Neji and forced an exausted smiled onto her face. "Oh, welcome home, Neji. How was your day?" she asked, happy to see someone other than a screaming baby. Neji's eyes darkened. "Did you tell someone about Hikaru?" ha asked grimly. Hinata was taken back by his udden question, but nodded. "Yes, I did." she said, managing to get Hikaru's pants finally on. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?" Neji screamed, angrilly. Hinata looked at him. "Now people are going to talk about us! The other people around us know about it! You know we can't move!" he telled. Hinata lookd back at him, and finished putting Hikaru's shirt on him. "B-but I have n-no intension of h-hiding it..." she stuttered. Hikaru screamed, tugging at his unfamilliar pyjamas. "Hikaru, you need to wear these!" she cried. Hikaru fell on his back, banging his hands and feet on the floor, scraming until he turned blue. "Hikaru!" she scremed. Suddenly her hand collided with his left cheek, slapping him hard. He sat there, stuned. After what seemed like a minute, he cried harder. Hinata was frozen. She had just hit her child. Her heard felt torn, and she couldn't bear to look at him. Hikaru looked at her with his big eyes. A look that said something like, 'I tursted you...'. Hinata looked down at her hand horrified. Neji looked at her angrilly. "Great, you made him cry harder! Do something, he's YOUR son!" He turned to leave the room. Hinata looked up at him. "H-he's your son too..." she mumbled. He looked back at her with a deadly face. "DON'T PUCH EVERYTHING ON ME, BECAUSE I AM HIS MOTHER!!" She cried, tears streaming down her face. "It's not anybody's fault that Hikaru is autistic!" she sobbed, Hikaru screaming in the background. "It just happened by chance!" she yelled. She calmed down a bit and spoke shakilly but calmer. "Y-you're embarassed by Hikaru, right? That's why you want to hide it." she said. Neji looked sad and regretful. "You were mad at the memorial service when he cried, because it caused you shame!" she began to cry once more. Her head fell and her tears were seen falling to the floor. "But we're your family. Families are supposed to support eachother..." She looked up at him angrilly now. "IF YOU'RE THE FATHER YOU SHOULD AT LEAST STAND UP FOR US!" she screamed.

Neji stepped foreward, anger seen in his eyes. "You think I don't suffer? If you have a prblem, then get out!" Hinata gasped and looked at Neji. "I come home tired every day. I want a little peace and quiet at night!" he yelled. Hinata stod up, pain in her heart. "Fine..I'll leave..." she said through tears. She scooped up the sobbing Hikaru and walked to the door. She stopped and looked back at him down the hall. "Good bye! You can have peaceful nights, FOREVER!" she slammed the door, leaving Neji huffing mad.

I left home, crying in the night. I had Hikaru in the stroller, which he was too big for. It was freezing out, as it was November. Everyone in the street was watching us two, crying as we were. If they weren't going to help us, then they should have left us alone!!

Hinata knocked in the door of the large house. She had walked all the way across town. 'Please be awake...' she thought desperatly. After a few seconds, a flustered Kiba came to the door. He was sweating and only had a robe on. "Oh, Hinata! What are you doing here at this time of night?" he asked, opening the door wider. Hinata fell into Kiba, sobbing loudly into his chest. "Hinata?" he asked, noticing Hikaru crying in the stroller. Shino walked down the staires behinde Kiba and noticed the scene. Kiba led Hinata into the kitchen and Shino brought Hikaru into the house, struggling to keep the child from thrashing.

Hinata looked into her tea cup sadly. Shino walked into the kitchen, where Kiba was sitting with Hinata. He sat besdie Kiba and nodded to the living room. "Hikaru finally fell asleep." he said quietly. Kiba peered into the living room, and sure enough, the baby was asleep, along with his dog, Akamaru who was passed out on the couch. "He looks like an angel..." Kiba mused. Hinata put herhead in her hands and began to cry. Shino took her hand. "Hinata..." he said sympathetically. "I'm so sorry for barging in at this time of night!" she said, in a whisper. Shino shook his head. "It's okay." he said, looking at Kiba. Kiba smirked. "It's not like we were doing anything," he winked at Shino. Hinata began to sob harder. "I hit Hikaru tonight! Even though...it didn't help..." she said breathless. She put her head in her hands. "But he won't listen no matter what I say. hearing him scream every day irritates me, so I..." her words became lost once more in tears. Shino patted her hand. "It must have hurt!! An adult hitting a small toddler!" she sobbed. Kiba smiled sympathetically. "Your heart gurt, too, right? I know you regretted it." he said. Shino stood up and pushed his chair in. "You can stay here for a while. In the spare bedroom." he told her, with a comforting look. Kiba nodded. "Yeah. Come upstaires and rest." he said, as he got up and pulled her into a hug.

Kiba and Shino got into bed. Kiba lay back, and Shino sat up, pulling a book out of the nightstand. "I knew she was having trouble..." Kiba said to his partner. Shino nodded in agreement. Kiba closed his eyes. "She always tries to deal with it alone..." he mumbled. Shino looked at Kiba and sighed.

At Kiba and Shino's, life was surprisingly peaceful...

Hinata gathered up Hikaru and put him in the stroller. "I'm going to the park," she called to Shino and Kiba, who were upstaires. Kiba poked his head from the top of the staires. "Have fun!" he called. Hinata nodded, bluhing, for she knew what they had planned while she was out. "You too," she chuckled. She left with a smile, and heard the music plying through the bedroom window.

It was a sunny day. The air was warm, and the gress was so green. The yellow dandillions shone with the sun rays. Hinata sat on a park bench and watched Hikaru a few feet away, pulling up the grass, quietly. She looked up acroiss the park, to a man and a child. They were playing ball. She noticed the little boy was close to Hikaru's age. "Okay, Tae, catch the ball!" the man chuckled, rolling it. The little boy smiled widly and caught it. He giggled and looked behind him. A wide smile spread across his face, as he ran to a young woman. "Mommy! Mommy!" he cried happily. The mother picked up her son and laughed, while the father smiled and kissed her on the cheek. Hinata looked at them longingly. 'How nice...A family of three..' she thought sadly. The three walked out of the park happily, leaving Hinata and Hikaru the only ones there.

'I wanted that to me my family...' Hinata thought, tears welling up in her eyes. She looked at Hikaru absently. 'I know I can't compare...But I'm jealous of those who have healthy children.' She looked at her hand, that wiped her cheek. "Here I go, crying again..." she said to herself. "Always crying..." she whispered. She looked up at the clouds, which were rushing by. ;I can't help but feel helpless...' she thought. 'My feelings don't reach him... Just once...for him to call me 'mommy', would be the greatest joy in my life...Then, I'd feel happy to be a parent...' she opened her eyes and glanced down to the ground.

Seven plump dandillions, freashly picked, lay at her feet. She glanced over to Hikaru, who was running from her, back to the dandillion patch. She watched him repeat the same thing, but not make eye contact with her. She bent down and looked at him, which made him look away. "Are these for me, sweetie?" she asked, tearfully. He pushed her away and repeated his actions, by grabbing only the biggest ones, and bringing them to her. 'He understands me...' she thought, happily. 'He doesn't say it in words, but he understands me!' she sniffed, and grabbed her son, hugging him lightly, and kissing his cheek. "Hikaru, thank you..." she said, earning a struggle. Hikaru pushed away and whimpered. "Sorry, you hate hugs..." Hinata said, smiling. He walked back to the dandillions and sat back down in the patch, picking them out of the ground, and throwing them to the side.

Hinata kneeled beside him and smiled, watching him carefully. "Hikaru, I love you..." she said, smiling. Hikaru picked up a dandillion and slowly raised his hand to her, silently giving it to her. She took it gratefully.

"I love you too." the fower seemed to be saying...

Inumonkey13: Hey guys! What did u think of chapter two?? MUCH MORE TO COME THOUGH!!