Alone
Warnings: hint of slash, master/doctor & jack/doctor. Lots of angst!
From Jack's POV.
I stare at the Doctor.
He's been over there for an hour at least. He's still clutching that cold, dead corpse. His head is buried in the Master's shoulder and he is gently swaying backward and forward almost like someone suffering from insanity; who knows, maybe he is. I can sense the desperation pouring off him in waves, he has no one. The only person he did have left is gone, nothing but an empty, soulless shell. I doubt he'll never let go.
Everyone was eager to get away from the Valiant, so there's only myself and the Doctor here now. There's a few government agents that keep walking around the base, sometimes shooting the Time Lord strange looks and sometimes even attempting to approach. I stop them, tell them who I am and who I work for, and they immediately back down. No one wants to mess with Torchwood. I don't know how long I can allow this to go on though, it's unhealthy. He' going to have to move some time, he can't stay here forever.
I take a deep breath and stand up, hesitantly walking towards the Doctor. My heart pounds against my chest, I know that this is a bad idea but simply cannot let this go on.
"Doctor?" I mutter softly, kneeling beside him. "It's time to let go." He isn't listening to me, he probably doesn't want to listen. I repeat his name a few times, but he still refuses to respond. I reach out my hand and place it gently on his shoulder. He shakes it away. This is going to be harder than I thought.
"Leave me alone, Jack." his voice is hoarse and barely audible. His request sounds more like a plea than an order. I notice that he is holding the Master slightly tighter than before. Is he protecting the body, or the body protecting him? It doesn't really matter, I can feel myself getting impatient.
"You can't stay here forever." I say bluntly, I can't muster anything else. A few moments pass and he doesn't reply, so I nudge him, "Aren't you going to say anything?"
"Don't touch me!" He snaps, violently smacking my arm away. He stares into my eyes and I are into his; pure windows into his soul; and for the first time ever I can feel the raw emotion that for him is never ending. His eyes are bloodshot, red and damp from all the tears shed."This is what you wanted, what you all wanted. Congratulations." His words and spoken in a growl, almost like a wild animal. Sometimes I wonder if that's all he really is. He places his head back on the Master's shoulder.
A mixture of anger and guilt bubble up inside me. I did everything I could to save that genocidal maniac, I could have snapped his neck right there and then when we had the perception filters, but I didn't. I stopped myself – for him, for the Doctor. Without thinking I grab a hand full of his spiky brown hair and yank his head backward, forcing him to look at me. He winces a little, but I have no intention of loosening my grip. Reckless Jack, reckless. Our faces are inches away from each other and I can tell that all he really wants to do is escape, to run.
"You spent a year trapped under his wrath, and now he's dead, and you are still trapped. I'm trying to help you, why can't you see that!?" He's trembling, but I highly doubt it's out of fear. Well, not fear of me. A lone tear trickles down his delicate, pale cheeks.
Delicate. I never thought I'd use that word to describe the Doctor.
He glares at me, a silent threat. I sigh and let go, standing up and grabbing his coat. I drape it over his shoulders and turn to leave.
"I'll have to get rid of his body. I can't leave him for the humans." I hear him say. I look back, but he's just staring into the dead time lord's face. His voice radiates sadness, yet seems strangely empty at the same time. He struggles to his feet and puts on his long coat. He looks at the body and then at me, pleadingly. Who could resist that?
I stride over to him, picking up the Master bridal style and following the Doctor to the TARDIS. He keeps his head down the whole way and doesn't say a word, which is really unusual for him. I can't help but think that I'm not in on the big picture, he's hiding something.
Moments after we get inside, he's by the controls, pushing buttons and flipping switches. I hear the beautiful sound of the engine's song as we teleport through time and space. The journey is surprisingly smooth, usually when going on a trip in the TARDIS you expect a bumpy ride.
He opens the door and picks up the body himself. I step forward to follow him but he places his hand on my chest and shakes his head, I understand. He has to do this alone.
I stand and stare for the next few hours as he builds a wooden pyre and wraps up his enemy, ready to incinerate. The bitter air bites at my skin and I begin to wish I hadn't left my coat in the TARDIS.
Darkness falls and he lights a torch. I see him leaning over the Master and, although I'm standing quite far away, can just about make out that he's laying a kiss on his lips. Oh... so it was like that huh? He takes a few steps away and lights the fire.
And the Master burns.
The Doctor watches the flames dance sky high. He's too close to the flame, he'll get burnt. He doesn't seem to care. I find myself walking towards him at a gentle pace. I don't intend to approach him, just to go close enough for him to know I'm there, to know he isn't alone.
He falls to his knees and suddenly I find myself running towards him. I kneel beside him once again, yet this time round he's totally lost it. Tears are falling freely down his face and his body is trembling with heartfelt sobs. Back in the day, a tear of a time lord would be worth millions. I wrap my arms around him and hold him against my chest... It's just instinct. He gives in and leans against me, his hand grabbing a chunk of my shirt.
"Shhh..." I say as I run my hand through his hair, trying to comfort him and I wonder...
When was the last time anyone held him like this?