She wanted more than this. Was she selfish because of that?
As of lately, her cliché childhood dreams of wedding bells and a white picket fence seemed unlikely. She had once dreamed of being that blushing bride, walked down the aisle by her father to stand beside a dashing man in white, smiling and taking her hand to lead her into her beautiful, pure future.
Her future had been anything but beautiful or pure.
She had watched her father die, shattering her thin shield of naïve youth and opening her wide eyes to the cruel world around her. She had brushed through that night within an inch of her life, and it had been the open gate to a road of pain and suffering for her.
But even then, her prince had come to save her. He saved her then, held her close and said 'I'm here, it's okay,' just before disappearing into the darkness once more, not to be seen or heard from again for nearly five whole years.
He had been far from a knight in shining armor, but he was still hers. When he had come back to her a broken and confused pile of memories, she had vowed to help him.
He had remained cold and closed to her.
Was this fate's revenge on her?
Was this her fault?
She had never been directly cruel to him when they were children, but she had still stood idly by as their peers picked on him. Wasn't that just as bad? To turn a blind eye to somebody's suffering, only to turn around and demand their attention years later?
These days, it seemed she was continuing her penance for past sins. She would watch him come and go, wordlessly, off to make deliveries (or so he claimed)—but she couldn't ignore that unique scent of flowers on him when he'd return to her.
She made excuses for him to the children, but it broke her heart. Didn't they deserve a real family? Marlene, Denzel… didn't they deserve a normal life at least?
He was going to see…her, again, she was sure of it. His cold eyes regarded him for but a moment before the all too familiar sound of a closing door and a roaring motorcycle engine broke the stagnant air around her, sending her further into the despair that had gripped her heart for so long now. But was she being selfish?
Aerith was, after all, her friend. They were close, despite the lingering hint of jealousy that stirred between them whenever he had been near. But what was her right to deny him happiness, after all? Even though Aerith was more or less impossible to gauge in terms of affection or body language, he read like an open book, and she had certainly seen him clinging to her like a lost child on the cold nights during their fateful journey.
But she denied herself the feelings buried in her heart. She didn't deserve him. But she still wanted him. She wanted all that he was before, and wanted so desperately to heal him and make him whole again.
But then, Aerith died.
The image of her friend having her life torn away in a spectacular show of blood and tears had lurked on the fringe of her innermost thoughts even now, years later, and she couldn't begin to imagine how he had felt, standing only inches from her in her last moments, holding her in her last breath…
But was she selfish, to think that she wanted that sort of intimacy all to herself?
He still hadn't forgiven himself for his failure, so how could she possibly put her sins and impossible jealousy to rest?
Every day, Marlene would ask the questions that she had found herself asking her heart, but lacking the answer.
'Where is Cloud?'
'Is Cloud coming home today?'
'I hope Cloud brings me a flower again…'
'…does Cloud not love us anymore, Tifa?'
'Why did Cloud leave us?'
…she wanted to answer, but could never find the heart. Her response was always the same. 'Hopefully today, he will.'
'No, Cloud would never do that… he's just busy with work.'
'He'll be back, don't you worry.'
I never stopped believing…
…please, come home.
A/N: Just a little snippet that I thought of while brainstorming the plotline of my main fic. A little short, but sweet. It's meant to take place prior to Advent Children, after Tifa has established her new bar and taken in Denzel.