OHMYGOSH! People actually reviewed my story! Thanks to all those who reviewed: LazieLindsay, The Pixess, LostOzian, darkruki008, Nekohime Kitsuya (I so know who you are), and Yorkie Lover.
Your reviews truly did make my day(s)! Thanks!
Sorry I haven't been upDATing. But to make up for it, here's a relatively long chapter. Woop-dee-doo!
Also, I don't know if anyone noticed, but some stuff in Chapter One is new. It didn't get uploaded before, but now it's fixed. Hurray! Okay, I'll stop with the long author noteness.
Title: WICKED Remixed! (Fo shizzle)
Chapter Two: The Music of the Green
Disclaimer: Don't own Wicked, or the songs from it. Sob!
Once upon a time, not so long ago, the new students were piling into the dear old Shiz library for a new school year. An overly excited blonde girl strolled in on top of all her luggage and started yodeling annoyingly. Her name was Galinda. A family of three rolled in through the opposite way. One was fat, one was physically challenged, and one was green. We don't really care about the first two right now. But the green one was pushing the wheelchair of the physically challenged one while reading and ignoring the fat one. Her name was Elphaba.
As if we didn't know already.
The fat one, who is Frex, cleared his throat. "Now Elphaba, I know I've told you a million times already but I'm going to say it again, just to annoy you. I'm only sending you here so you can watch over my precious little bundle of joy. A.K.A. Nessarose."
"Thaaaaaaaaaat's me!" Nessarose stated.
"Uh huh, yeah, sure, whatever," Elphaba said, clearly trying to ignore her father.
Frex was about to explode. Metaphorically, not literally. "Can you stop reading for two seconds and listen to me?"
Elphaba looked up from her copy of How To Piss Off Your Fat NOT PHAT Father, Volume 4 and looked up at said father. "Yes Frex, you were saying?"
"Don't call me that. You know that pisses me off."
"That's why I said it."
"Please, will you two stop fighting and focus on ME," pleaded Nessarose.
"Of course dear," obeyed Frex. He handed her a box and she tried to open it. Once she did, a bright light came from within it, blinding her eyes.
"MY EYES!" screamed Nessa.
"Elphaba, this is all your fault!" snapped Frex, even though it wasn't.
"Okay," she said, used to being blamed for anything anyway.
"OH MY OZNESS THAT GIRL'S GREEN!" someone randomly shouted from the swamp of students.
"EVERYBODY, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" Then everyone proceeded to run around in circles stupidly, just because they were bored. Then suddely Galinda whistled. Everyone stopped and prepared to wince at the sound of the squeak.
"Everyone, I believe it is our duty as fellow Shizians to give the phosphorescently green girl an opportunity to-"
But the phosphorescently green girl interrupted. "So is THIS what you're all staring at? Fine, let's get this over with. Yes, I was born this way. No, I did not eat grass as a child; the stuff that grows on your lawns, not the stuff that NONE OF YOU SHOULD BE USING. And no, I do not glow in the dark!!"
Suddenly, all the Shiz students pulled out their portable glow sticks and held them up.
"They look the same to me," they all said.
"Elphaba, stop making a spectacle of yourself!" Frex ordered.
She smiled at him. "I can't help it, it's just the way I am."
"Seriously, do you have some sort of guide that tells you exactly how to push all my buttons?"
"Um...no."
Then, a heavyset woman with a big butt and even bigger hair walked in. "Hello, I am Madame Morrible, Headmistress here at Shiz University." A roll of thunder could be heard from the background.
"I'm going to skip the welcome speech because it's pointless anyway. So directly down to roomates." Elphaba and Galinda both raised their hands. Madame Morrible noticed Galinda first.
"Seriously, how did she miss me, I'm GREEN for Oz's sake!"
But everyone was listening to Galinda, trying to soak up her awesomeness. "Hello Madame. I am Galinda Upland of the Upper Upper Uplands. The GA is NOT silent."
Madame Morrible looked annoyed. "Yes, Miss Galinda. Is this regarding roomies?"
"No, my parents paid you a lot of money already to give me a private suite." Everyone groaned.
"But you all can visit me whenever you'd like!" Galinda declared. Her friends crowded around.
"Oh, you're just so good!"
"Were you born with goodness?"
"Will you teach me?"
"In order, I know, yes, and no." Galinda gave her hair one last swish that had her followers nearly fainting in delight.
"I feel like this is a good time for me to exit unnoticed," Frex said as he disapeared. But no one noticed. Or cared.
Meanwhile, Madame Morrible was trying to get away from Galinda. She spotted Nessa...just sitting there. "This must be Nessarose," She creepishly placed her pasty hand on Nessa's face. "What a tragically beautiful face."
Elphaba waved her hand in front of Morrible's face. "Hi, I'm Elphaba, the other one. I'm beautifully tragic."
Morrible looked at her. "Holy Oz, you're GREEN!"
"Um...yeah."
Morrible looked through her notes. "All it says here is that you're a freak with extra freaky powers that you sometimes use to throw stones, tweezers, and other inatimate objects at her fat father with."
"That's about right."
"First, let's find you a roomie." She geastured out into the crowd. "Will anyone volunteer to share a roomie with this freaky green girl right here?"
"Hey!"
"Oh, sorry."
Galinda raised her hand. "I will, Madame Morrible!"
"REALLY?!?!?!?!?"
Galinda snickered. "No."
"Actually, that's a great idea! You two will be roomies!"
"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!" They both screamed.
"Deal with it," Madame Morrible ordered as she walked away to eat her fifth meal of the day.
Elphaba glared at Galinda. "This is all YOUR fault!"
"My fault? How is this my fault?"
"If you hadn't tried to be so stupidly funny, we wouldn't be stuck together!"
"Don't yell at me!"
"I'M NOT YELLING!"
"WELL GOOD, CAUSE NEITHER AM I!"
"AHH I'M SO MAD I COULD-" Suddenly, a flash of green hit Galinda, leaving a blonde frog in her place.
"Ah, you turned me green and scaly!" She cried. "Like you!" Everyone laughed.
Madame Morrible rushed over. "Miss Elphaba, did you do that?"
"No, that frog over there did."
"Sarcasm put aside, I think I'll let you in my sorcery class and let in no other students!"
"But, but, what about me?" Galinda the frog asked.
"I don't know, what about you?"
After everyone had cleared out, and Galinda had been turned back into a human (much to Elphaba's dismay), Madame Morrible was holding a private meeting in her office.
Oh, Miss Elphaba
Many years I have waited
For a gift like yours to appear
Why, I predict the Wizard
Could make you his
Magic grand vizier!
My dear, my dear
I'll write at once to the Wizard
Tell him of you in advance
With a talent like yours, dear
There is a defint-ish chance
If you work as you should
You'll be making good!
Elphaba stared at the Morrible. "Madame, you've got something stuck in your teeth."
Once the plastic lady left, a bunch of random Ozians came into the office.
"We're here to hear you sing!" They cried.
"Are you sure?" Elphaba asked.
"Yes!"
"Okay, but you're going to need these." She handed them some ear plugs.
When I meet the Wizard,
Once I prove my worth,
And then I meet the Wizard
What I've waited for since,
Since birth!
And with all his Wizard wisdom,
By my looks, he won't be blinded.
"Shut up."
"Okay."
Do you think the Wizard is dumb?
Or, like Munchkins, so small-minded?
No!
He'll say to me,
"I see who you truly are -
A girl on whom I can rely!"
And that's how we'll begin
The Wizard and I
"Geez, that was random," noted the Ozians.
"Whatever, I'm used to it," Elphaba said.
"Aww, that's so sad."
"Didn't I tell you guys to shut up?"
Once I'm with the Wizard
My whole life will change
'Cuz once you're with the Wizard
No one thinks you're strange!
No father is not proud of you,
No sister acts ashamed
And all of Oz has to looooooove you
When by the Wizard, you're acclaimed
And this gift or this curse
I have inside
Maybe at last, I'll know why
When we are hand and hand -
The Wizard and I!
And one day, he'll say to me, "Elphaba,
A girl who is so superior,
Shouldn't a girl who's so good inside
Have a matching exterior?
"Seriously, I'm this close to slapping all of you."
The Ozians cowered in a corner. "We're sorry, WE'RE SORRY! We promise we'll be good!"
"Good."
And since folks here to an absurd degree
Seem fixated on your verdigris.
Would it be all right by you
If I de-greenify you?"
The Ozians just looked at her.
"All right, why not? I'll reply...!"
Oh, what a pair we'll be
The Wizard and I;
Yes, what a pair we'll be
The Wizard and...
But she was cut off by a sudden epiphany!
Unlimited
My future is unlimited
And I've just had a vision
Almost like a prophecy
I know - it sounds truly crazy
And true, the vision's hazy
But I swear, someday there'll be
A celebration throughout Oz
That's all to do with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
And I'll stand there with the Wizard,
Feeling things I've never felt.
"Don't look at me, I didn't write this!"
And though I'd never show it,
I'll be so happy, I could melt!
And so it will be
For the rest of my life,
And I'll want nothing else
Till I die.
Held in such high esteem.
When people see me, they will scream
For half of Oz's favorite team;
The Wizard
And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII...
Five minutes later...
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Ozians hurried out from under their hiding place. "Geez, don't you ever breathe?"
"No..." Elphaba said, breathing heavily. "I need my inhaler..."
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