This is for MegaMario and all the others that have waited for so long.
Final Fantasy Law Cast:
Judge Gestal
Prosecution- Kefka, Sabin, Setzer
Defense- Cyan, Shadow, Gogo
Defendant- Edgar
Prosecutor- Kohlingen mayor
Bailiff- Locke
Witnesses- Celes, Strago, Thief
Reporter- Terra
The story opens up with Terra fixing her jacket and her hair. She smiles and raises her microphone.
"Good morning, this is Terra Branford at the Vector Liberty Courts. Today's case brings in the famous King Edgar of Figaro Castle against the town of Kohlingen. The mayor claims that the tunneling castle ran into a sewer main and caused a major back draw of sewer water into the town center. We will have the full coverage in this new and recently renovated courtroom. Let's take a seat."
Terra and crew enter the sparkly new courtroom. For once, the people are busy whispering and debating the case rumors.
Shadow, Cyan, and Gogo are unusually quiet. Shadow leans over to Cyan. "What are we doing here again?"
"Justice must be preserved. We shall not lose another case to mass pandemonium."
"Then I ask again, what are we doing here? Do you actually believe that this will not end in tragedy?" Shadow grumbles. "I don't get paid enough for this…ESPECIALLY this!"
Gestal walks in with a creepy smile.
"Here ye! Here ye! Court is now in session!" Locke wails at the top of his lungs. "All rise for Judge Gestal!"
"Please be seated," Gestal took his seat and sighed. "Aah, the wonderful smell of new courtroom."
"Alright, let's get this started. What is our next case? Oh no!" Gestal gasps.
"Your honor, the city of Kohlingen is bringing up charges against the King of Figaro." Locke pauses and looks up bewildered. "Doesn't that mean, HE, will be here? Wait, where is he?"
Suddenly, the double oak doors fling open and a wind of change blows through the courtroom. A familiar man in blue steps through and removes his sunglasses in a very anime-like pose.
"JUSTICE SHALL PREVAIL! FOR I, EDGAR KING OF FIGARO AND DEFENSE ATTOURNEY IS ON THE-"
Edgar is forced to shut up as he is dragged down the walkway by Celes.
"Shut up and sit down! You're the one on trial, bozo." She slams him down in the defense chair and he turns to grin at his former colleagues.
"Well, long time no see guys. How's it been? Have you won a case since I left? Of course you didn't but no worries since I'm back in the saddle, we'll be winning cases left and right now. Of course it's been a while….so what's the deal?"
He is met with silence as Cyan, Shadow, and Gogo turn back to face the extremely irritated judge.
"Judge Gestal! Why you-
"Now that's the last I want to hear from you! Can't you see it's YOU that's on trial and I hope you realize now that you are not above the law! So help me I'll make sure you pay not just for this, but the curse of mass hysteria you seemed to have placed on this courtroom since you last left." Gestal spat at him.
Edgar blinked and looked around. "I'm on trial? For what?"
Locke steps up and clears his throat. "Ahem! The mayor of Kohlingen is claiming that you and your submarine castle broke a sewer main line and caused millions of gil in damages. Oh, he also claims you tried to run off with his new wife."
"His new wife? Where'd he leave the old one at?" Kefka snorted.
"Probably should just look under his shoe. Did you see how big that guy is?" Sabin replied.
"Order!" Gestal banged his newly polished gavel down. "Let's begin so I can sentence him."
Setzer stands up and bows to the jury. "Ladies and gentlemen of this newly refurbished courtroom…"
"-And might we add refurbished jury." Shadow mutters under his breath.
"Objection Your Honor, those aren't real jurors they are cardboard cutouts of the latest top 12 Imperial Idols season 25!" Edgar shouts out.
"Oh really?" Gestal chuckles menacingly, "Why they look like they want to know what this judge thinks…MWA HA HA HA!"
Cyan shakes his head sadly. "My word, this does not bode well for you, your majesty."
Edgar crosses his arms. "Ha! If he thinks a minor obstacle like that will stop me from proving my innocence, he better think again."
Gestal finishes by wiping a small tear away. "Ahh, continue Setzer."
"Very well, today we shall show you that justice is blind, justice is absolute, and that justice will be swift and merciless. Watch as this pathetic man of madness is run over by this other man of madness in a box and refurbished wig, not really for the charges he is brought in here for, but actually for a personal vengeance all of his own. We will gladly watch with satisfaction and a slight hint of gleeful madness of our own as we take part in this case of destruction, thank you."
"That doesn't sound like the right opening for this case." Relm says scratching her head. Strago pats her gently. "I know child, I know."
Gestal's smile holds no kindness as he replies. "How fitting, prosecution you may call first witness."
Kefka stands up. "Your Honor, we call huge sandworm to the stand."
Gestal snaps out of his euphoria. "Huge sand-WHAT?!"
Before he can finish a giant sandworm slithers into the court, gobbling up one of the people in the pew. "GRRRRRAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!"
"What the hell are you thinking?! Prosecution- D'ah!" Gestal ducks as the monster takes a swing at him.
Prosecution giggles maniacally as they slap each others' hands. Defense watches in shock for a moment before throwing each other a look and taking out their weapons.
Shadow sighs, "Here we go again. Cue battle music."
(Regular battle music ensues.)
"Stop this at once! You can get rid of this thing without music! Hurry up hurry up it's coming back this way!" Gestal hides under his desk as the team slay the big slimy beast.
GRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!! (CRASH!)
It slumps down and Gestal peeks out. "Is it dead? Good, bailiff, remove that carcass and let's resume this trial."
"Uhhh," Locke steps up to the smelly thing and attempts to remove it. "Grrr! RRRRHH!"
"Now, prosecution, come here." Gestal points to the front of his stand. They saunter up quietly.
"Why did you do that? You have a very rare chance to let me be your friend and ally here on this case. Don't screw this up with your amateur antics."
"We don't need your friendship!" Kefka snips back.
"But won't you be our neighbor?" Setzer sings to him.
"Dang it, guys! I want him put away for a long time don't you see you just have to play it safe and I'll agree with you." Gestal growls softly at them so the other team doesn't hear.
Sabin sniffs. "Hmpf! We have our own way of working this case, so sit back and let us do our job."
Gestal sighs and flicks his hand at them to return to their seats. "Alright, now since that didn't go well, I'll give prosecution a chance to redeem themselves with a second witness. Go ahead."
"We would like to call Silver Thumb to the stand."
Cyan frowns. "I don't believe this. They are calling a thief to the stand. Where is the justice in that?"
Gogo looks up from his crossword puzzle and looks cross-eyed. "Where's a thief?"
Sabin walks confidently up to the grungy-looking man. "Mr. Thumb are you willing to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth as you see fit?"
"Why not?"
"Good, I would like you to tell the courtroom what it is that you do."
"Uh, I work underground a lot. You know, doing stuff."
"Objection! This man is a common thief. He states that from the way he dresses to the way he pick pocketed the man in the third pew on his way to the stand. He can't possibly be a credible witness." Shadow shouts out angrily.
Ironically, it is Edgar that pulls him down. "Its okay, Shadow. Let the man speak, for all you know, it's not his fault he has had to live a life of crime, is it Mister Thumb."
The thief grins, "Yeah, that's it. I had to do it for the kids, you know?"
Cyan looks at Edgar aghast. "What on earth are you doing? You are aiding thy brother in sentencing you."
Edgar just winks at him.
"So you were doing what you do when you heard a strange noise. What was it?"
"I was working underground when I heard a loud rumble. At first I thought it was an earthquake, so I just continued on when I heard another weird sound. It sounded like grinding metal and then the sound of rushing water. When I smelled what was coming, I just got out of there, to hell with Ramey and the others."
"Right, so you crawled to the surface and saw something quite vital to this situation. What did you see?" Sabin leaned against the stand and peered at his older brother.
"I saw that mechanical castle sprouting up out of the ground not far from where I was working."
"No mo' questions." Sabin turns to the thief and takes back his wallet before returning to his seat.
"Your turn, defense." Gestal leans back, rubbing his belly in contentment.
Gogo skips over and gets up in Silver Thumbs face. "So, you left the others behind, did you? What kind of a thief do you call yourself? You know better than to just leave them when trouble is about. You're supposed to make sure they aren't around to talk, you know what I'm getting at?"
"Wha-what? I don't know what you're talking about." The thief stammers.
Gogo begins to file his fingernails on an imaginary emery board. "I heard that a couple of stinky thieves were caught trying to infiltrate the Figaro Castle later on that day. They've told some interesting stories about a man that left them behind with 'the bread'."
Silver Thumb slams his fist down. "Those rats! I should've got rid of them when I had the chance! Ah!" He looks up and the judge and smiles sheepishly, "I mean, I sure hope they are okay. It's hard work down there in the dark."
Gestal shakes his head with alarm and uneasiness. "I'm sure you mean that. Defense, please stick to the case."
"Yes, anyway you say that you thought at first it was an earthquake, but have you ever actually experienced an earthquake to know that is what one is?"
"Well, no…but I imagine I have a pretty good notion."
"Have you ever experienced the submersion and travel of Figaro Castle to know how to distinguish it from an earthquake?"
"How would I know what it sounds like underground? Nobody alive could tell you that! All I can say is that it must move the ground like an earthquake!"
Gogo snaps his fingers in the man's face. "Aha! So you are simply going on assumption. Perhaps what you heard what indeed an earthquake and it broke the sewer pipe. The water then caused Figaro Castle to emerge at the same time you reached the surface."
"I-I don't know!"
"You know nothing! You sad pathetic excuse for a thief!" Gogo suddenly turns angrily to the jury box. "I fail to take the credibility of this witness as I happen to demonstrate how unprofessional he is at his profession."
Gestal scratches his wig. "HUH? Gogo what are you-
"As I also demonstrate how through this cross examination I have successfully stolen his wallet, watch, belt, and his 'bread'." Gogo holds up his booty over his head. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Gogo runs happily out of the courtroom with Silver Thumb running after him. "I am a thief! I was stealing Kohlingen supplies! Gimme my bread!!"
Gestal slaps his hand to his forehead. "I can't believe this! I'm about ready to just sentence this lunatic and the entire prosecution and defense team!"
Shadow stands up. "I understand, Your Honor however we still would like to call our first and only witness."
Gestal grins wickedly. "I deny this, however I shall allow you your closing statement."
Shadow sighs. "Very well, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. This man has done no crime to the people of Kohlingen. His work as an engineer and mechanic is known the world over to be some of the best in the field. I know he is a bit of an ego maniac and a ladies' man, but he is also a good king. And a good king knows when he's done wrong to a fellow neighbor's land. He would honestly and truthfully acknowledge he caused damage and pay for it." He glares down at the young man. "In fact, he personally would work on improving the sewer lines and see to it that the entire network was in good and working order, wouldn't he?"
Edgar shrinks into his seat nodding. "Of course."
Shadow continues. "As for the wackiness that occurs in this courtroom, well, I don't think its right to place the blame on just one man. I think we should look at the entire group of people that come to this place every week, thinking we have a right to judge who is innocent and who is guilty."
Courtroom drama music begins.
"I hereby state that we should hold a vote as to who should run this courtroom, and I leave to the jury to do this, thank you."
Kefka laughs. "You can't leave it to the cardboard crew. They can't vote!"
Cyan stands up. "Well they'll have to…for justice!"
Gogo stands up as well. "For liberty!"
Edgar looks up at him. "Hey when did you get back? What happened to Thumb?"
Gogo says nothing, but his eyes move rapidly back and forth.
Gestal slams his gavel down. "This will not be done! I think that's it for this trial!"
"Hey, what about our closing statements?" Setzer shouts back.
"There will be no need for them. I hereby claim this defendant gui-
Suddenly, the doors burst open and a telegram man jogs in. "I have an important telegram for Judge Gestal."
Gestal lurches forward. "I will not have interruptions during my very first judgment and sentence, bailiff!"
"I got it!" Locke removes his popper.
POP!
The telegram man crumples to the floor. Locke drags him to the 'bouncy castle' and Cyan picks up the telegram. "Sire, this could be important."
"It can't possibly be as important as this moment." Gestal says through clenched teeth.
"It could be about that new boat you purchased." Setzer leans back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. "It could be your bill. You can pay me right now."
"I think it could be your mother calling you to tell you to come home before your dinner gets cold." Sabin sneers.
"Perhaps you won the lottery and you could retire and never have to see this courtroom again." Celes quips.
"Perhaps it just says, 'you suck'." Kefka says, deadpan.
"Alright, I'll open it! Give it here!" He snatches it away from Cyan and tears into it.
"It reads; We the Imperial Idols of season 25 find the defendant not guilty."
"WHAAAAT?"
Gestal blinks with surprise. "I don't believe it, how do they-
"That would be because I have connections." Edgar stands and adjusts his collar. "Allow me to explain, because you decided to use the cutouts in this public courtroom, I am allowed give them a call since I own part of the stock and materials that are from that show."
Gogo giggles. "He's in charge of the pyrotechnics."
"Please continue with the telegram, I'm sure there is more." Edgar grins triumphantly.
Gestal looks down at the yellow paper and swallows. "'Furthermore, with the use of our images against our knowledge prompts us to take you to court for trademark and copyright laws and illegal downloading of our music.' Wait, how do they know…"
"Therefore I am automatically innocent in a corrupt court of law, case dismissed!" Edgar shouts out and the courtroom goes wild.
Terra gets up and runs to the now free man. "Wow, this was an unusual turn of events. How do you feel that you are the first case to have a sort of complete case closed."
"Ah, it feels wonderful. It couldn't have been done without…me." Edgar throws the camera an award winning smile.
Shadow shakes his head. "I don't believe it, we actually won."
Cyan sits down in his chair in disbelief. "It worked, it actually worked….we'll get paid."
Sabin turns to the others. "This is crunchy, man. Why couldn't he have let us do our closing statement."
"So what if they won, I don't see it as a win. I see it as Judge Gestal screwing up. We would have won if he hadn't skipped to the verdict." Setzer shrugs.
"I'm hungry." Kefka gets up and walks out.
Terra turns to the camera. "There you have it, folks, a new courtroom, a new case, and a new day in Vector Liberty Courts. I'm Terra Branford saying tune in next time for another Final Fantasy Law. Bye!"
Notes- Okay I know it has been a while since I last updated. I came up with this pretty quick, but I hope it's funny. On another note, I messed up the name of the city but I fixed it, ya.