Hey! Thanks to the reviewers for their reviews and constructive criticism. And no, I am not being overeager. (shifts eyes). But thanks.
WeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEe!
Title: WICKED Remixed!
Chapter Three: The Loathing of the Pink
Disclaimer: Still don't own it…Mr. Maguire and Mr. Shwartz do.
Galinda was reading a copy of Ozmo Girl! when her green roommate ran into the room. She jumped up and glared at her. Elphaba followed suite. Except she wasn't blonde and white.
"Green girl, I loathe you."
"Blonde (bad word), so do I."
"We must sing about it."
"Yes."
"But first, I have to write a letter to my parents/legal guardians."
"All right."
"Stop agreeing with everything I say!"
"Okay!"
Dearest darlingest Momsy and Popsicle, wrote Galinda.
My Dear Father, wrote Elphaba.
Then they both started scribbling furiously.
There's been some confusion over rooming here at Shiz.
But of course I'll care for Nessa…even though I'm stuck in here with this pink psycho!
Elphaba began to violently stab the paper.
But of course, I'll riiiiiiiiise above it!
For I know that's exactly how you'd want me to respond….yes.
Diiiing!
There's been some confusion for you see, my room-mate is…
Galinda had to write frivolously to keep up with the music that had just randomly started playing by the Ozian Orchestra, which had just entered in so rudely without an invite.
Unusuallyandexceedinglypeculiarandaltogetherquiteimpossibletodescribe
Elphaba looked up from her letter to glance at her archenemy. She rolled her eyes.
Blonde.
Galinda, hearing Elphaba's wicked laughter, crumpled up a piece of paper and threw it at her. She missed. What a failure. She then got up to glare at her again. Elphaba did the same.
"You guys need to start singing!" ordered the Ozian Orchestra Director. The two girls stared at him. "I have to go to the bathroom!!"
Elphaba rolled her eyes for the millionth time that day. The pink punk (Galinda) was the first to obey.
"What is this feeling?
So sudden and new?"
"I felt it the moment
I laid eyes on you"
"My pulse is rushing"
"My head is reeling"
"My face is flushing"
"Whoa there…" Elphaba said, stepping a few inches back from the flush-faced girl.
"Seriously, what the Oz?" questioned Boq, who had randomly popped in between lines five and six. "Are you guys in love or something?"
"EW NO," said Elphaba.
Galinda blinked. "Then what are we singing about?"
Elphaba and Boq stared at the blonde in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?" they chorused.
Galinda shifted her blue eyes. "Um…yes!"
"Right..." said Elphaba, unyielding in her belief.
"ON WITH IT!!" the Director shrilled. "I really have to go!"
For the sake of the conductor's bladder and their hardwood floor, the two girls continued singing.
Fervid as a flame,
Does it have a name?
YeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
LOATHING!!!!
Unadulterated loathing"
Galinda then proceeded to get very close to Elphaba (which was very Gelphie-like behavior, if you ask me) and Elphaba did the same, getting all up in her icy grill.
"For your face"
"Your voice"
"Your clothing"
"Let's just say - I loathe it all!
Ev'ry little trait, however small
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl
With simple utter loathing
There's a strange exhilaration
In such total detestation
It's so pure, so strong!
Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing
Loathing you
My whooooooooooole liiiiiiiiiiiiiiife long!"
At perfect timing, the other Shizians all burst into the room, knocking the door down. How rude.
Before anyone else could, Boq jumped behind Galinda, showing his love and loyalty for her.
Everyone else just stood there.
"I'll give you guys pink candy!" Galinda cried. Everyone else scurried behind Galinda, unanimously glaring at the green girl. They began to chorus. Like a perfect little chorus line.
"Dear Galinda, you are just too hot
How do you stand it? I simply could not!
She's a terror! She's a Tartar!
We don't mean to show a bias,
But Galinda, you're a martyr!"
"What the heck is a tartar?" randomly asked a Shizian.
"You idiot!" another one said, hitting him. "It's...uh, seriously, what IS that?"
"Ahem." The Ozian Director pulled out his pocket-sized dictionary. "Tartar: a person regarded as ferocious or violent," he recited. "Or: a salt used especially in baking powder."
"I am NOT a grain of salt!" screeched Elphaba. Galinda tossed her blonde hair over her shoulders.
"Well, these things are sent to tryyyyyyyyyyyyy us!"
The Shizians chorused…again.
"Poor Galinda, forced to reside
With someone so disgustingified"
"We just want to tell you:
We're all on your siiiiiiiiide!
We share your
It was just chaos from then on.
"Loathing!"
"What is this feeling
So sudden and new?"
"Unadulterated loathing"
"I felt the moment"
"for her face, her voice"
"I laid eyes on you"
"Her clothing"
"My pulse is rushing
My head is reeling"
"Let's just say:
We loathe it all!"
"Okay, we get it, you guys hate each other's guts, can we just PLEASE MOVE ON WITH IT?!" screamed the Ozians. Everyone stared at them for approximately 4.3 seconds. Then they continued to chaotically sing.
"Oh, what is this feeling?"
"Ev'ry little trait however small"
"Does it have a name?"
"Makes our very flesh
Begin to crawl"
"Yes-"
"Ah!"
Everyone stared at the Shizian who was trying to get a solo. "What? It's the next line…"
"Loathing!"
"There's a strange exhilaration"
"Loathing!"
"In such total detestation!"
"Loathing!"
"So pure, so strong!"
"Loathing!"
"So strong!"
"WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END?!" shrieked the Ozians, who were just there to make fun of everyone. And for the free food.
"Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing
For forever loathing
Truly deeply…"
"Loathing youuuuuuuuuuuu
My whole
Life looooooooooooooooooooooooooong!"
Somewhere between the last few beats of the song, Elphaba creeped up behind Galinda.
"Boo!"
"AH!"
Boq hurried over to Galinda. "Are you all right, my love?"
Galinda and Elphaba both looked at Boq strangely. "What?"
"Oh nothing, nothing…"
Later that night...
Galinda flopped on her pinkafied bed after she finished installing pink curlers into her head. "So the guy should be here sometime next week to build up the wall between us, permanently trapping you there forever," she told her roomie.
Elphaba didn't glance up from her book. "Sure, okay."
"What, are you READING?!"
"No, I'm tap dancing on a piano."
Galinda pouted. "Gosh, classes start tomorrow and you're already studying. How many pages are in that book anyway?"
"One hundred."
Galinda stared at Elphaba. "How do you survive?"
"I sense you don't have much of an attention span, do you?"
Galinda blinked. "What's that?"
Elphaba finally glanced up. "Oh Oz…I'm stuck in here with a pink idiot composed only of shallow water!"
Galinda daintly snorted. "Oh please, it could be worse."
"Like how?"
Galinda thought for a moment. "You're right, nothing could be worse."
"Now that you've admitted it to yourself, can you leave me alone so I can finish my 'incredibly confusifying' book?"
"Geek."
"Snob."
"Toad."
"Ditz."
"Nerd."
An hour later...
"Dipstick."
"Celery stick."
"Puff ball."
"Chicken."
"Chicken?"
"Chicken."
"(bad word)."
"Asparagus."
"Cream puff."
Galinda gasped. "Now THAT is where I draw the line!" She jumped up. "You wanna take this outside?" she challenged, putting up her fists.
"That's real tough talk, coming from someone wearing Fuzzy Wuzzy Ozzy Slippers," Elphaba said, pointing at Galinda's feet.
Galinda shifted her eyes. "They were on sale!" Then, something dinged and Galinda's voice went up five octaves. "Ooo! My muffins are ready!" She hurried off to take said muffins out of the portable microwave oven located above the bathroom sink.
The blonde placed the deliciously smelling muffins (...I want some muffins...) on the dresser and got into her bed. "By the way greenie, I still hate you."
"Likewise."
"Good."
"Oh, Galinda, once more thing."
"What?"
"BOO!"
"AHHHHHH!!!" Galinda screamed, falling off her bed.
Elphaba laughed as she wiped a tear from her eye. "That never gets old…."
"Never again. Good night."
"Sweet dreams."
Heh heh heh.
Heh heh.
Heh.