The Worse Of Two Evils
(You say psycho like it's a bad thing)
Disclaimer: We don't own House or Foamy the Squirrel.
"I find out I have a kid, and all you say is that you need me to fill out a consent form?!" Wilson yelled at House, who didn't flinch.
House pretended to think for a second, then answered, "Yup."
"You're…unbelievable!" Wilson replied, leaving the office to go get something from the cafeteria, or alcohol from a local bar.
"I think we already covered that, Jimmy. Hence why I always say, 'everybody lies'." House managed to keep pace with the oncologist despite the limp. "So…you gonna tell her?" he asked, being serious for once.
"I…don't know. It depends. Either way, your team needs to call Social Services," Wilson sighed. He didn't want to deal with this right now.
"Wow, Pops. Even I don't think I'd go that low," House said, condescendingly.
Wilson glared at him. "She has a family."
"Her mom's dead, and her dad is right next to me, telling me to call double S. Doesn't sound much like one to me."
"She has a foster family, that's apparently out of town."
House put his cane between Wilson and the elevator. "She won't tell us how to contact said family. She won't say that her friend is being abused. You've known me for a long time, Wilson, and you know my philosophy. She's lying. About what? I don't know yet, but that's what I'm going to find out." House then made a beeline for the red-head's room, and Wilson chased after him. Who knew what damage the Vicodin addict could do with this kind of information.
They found the two teens together, sitting on Bryn's bed and facing each other. Apparently, Kasi had found a way to get around the alarm built into the bed, and had come back to hang out with her friend. They both noticed that Kasi had somehow acquired a prescription bottle, and had something in it.
"Wow. A druggy. Who does that remind you of?" House asked sarcastically.
"Hi!" Kasi said to Bryn, who smirked.
"Bleh!" she replied, flipping the darker-haired teen off.
"I gots the good ideas with the makings of the moneys for the medication expensive!" Kasi said in a speedy, chipmunk-like voice.
"What?"
"I figured with the mass production of the baby heads, I could do the sitting of them for the lazy mothers, who not wants the kids doing things at work."
"You mean you're going to baby-sit children and make money for your medication? Do you think that's wise?"
"Are, are you saying I'm unresponsible with the children of peoples?!"
"I'm not saying you're not responsible. Just perhaps…under the influence."
"Under the influence of the moneys of fun with the purchasing power plenty. Hehe!"
"Uhh…I don't wanna be a part of this."
"Then you better leave. Da, da babies are HERE!" Kasi looked around the room, seemingly crazy. "So babies with the little bodies. BIG HEADS! What would you like to do with the time of the no mommy?"
The two girls made some irritating noises.
"Ah jeez with the noise and the head…ah! I know what will stop the screeching of baby-throats! Candies!!" Kasi said, shaking the bottle around, which she revealed as being her Skittles.
"One hour later," they both said dramatically.
"What the hell happened here? What's with all the dead babies?!" Bryn asked.
"They didn't like the candies of fun."
"Candies? What candies?"
"The doctors give me these candies of special fun medication! Hi!"
"Let me see that."
"Hi!"
"Take one every 24 hours to reduce nervousness and excitability. Do not administer to children under 25. Do not take more than one capsule a day. Dude! This is a high dose of tranquilizer!"
"So whats?"
"Uh…How many did you give these kids?"
"Uh, not six each, but… TWELVE!"
"Twelve?! Each!"
"Yeah!"
"These little fuckers are seriously dead, aren't they?"
"The baby heads are no more with the moving of life!"
"Let me get the broom." Bryn had an annoyed look on her face. "Damn these fuckers are hard to sweep up once they've hit rigger mortise."
"Dead has gone to their minds. With the sickle of medicated fear!" Kasi then looked at the medication bottle. "Oh no! I'm all out of candies!"
"That reminded me of when we were skating a week ago, when you dropped one of your bags of Skittles," Bryn commented, to which Kasi laughed.
"That was so funny!"
"I did the freakin' splits! I swear I strained the muscles between my legs!" At this, Wilson blushed. "Wait. That sounded sexual. And that's only on Tuesdays!"
"It is Tuesday…" Kasi informed her.
"I can't do this," Wilson said, holding his head and made to walk out of the room. House used his cane as an interference and blocked Wilson from leaving.
Both girls were laughing from their earlier comments. House couldn't help but smirk. Wilson just shook his head in discomfort. How could he have a daughter? And why was she like this?
"Wow. I think you got a keeper." And with that, House walked into the room, startling the two when they heard the cane hit the ground.
"You're in deep shit," Bryn teased, while Kasi glared at her.
"House…" Wilson warned.
"You," he said to Kasi. "Are being hurt, yet you refuse to say anything."
"Not this again. This is pretty much what this whole thing's been about," she groaned.
"That's because it's against the law. As in, people get thrown in jail if they hurt kids. Especially if the kid isn't their own. And the kid gets to be protected from the person before and after jail time," House explained, popping his Vicodin.
"How did the test come back?" Kasi asked, veering away from the subject.
"Negative. You don't have cancer," House said in a whoop-de-do voice. Now he turned to Bryn.
"And what about you? Where are your parents? Well, foster parents, anyways."
"Business trip," she answered evenly.
"I'm sure. Mommy and Daddy always leave together on trips without their kids. Well, they do, but not if they have kids that they adopted. They have to make sure the agency doesn't suspect anything's wrong, or the kids get repossessed." House looked at her sternly. "You aren't being hurt, that's for sure. A nurse changed you into that thing, and they would have seen any scars or bruising. No signs of struggle or anything. That means they're dead, they abandoned you instead of giving you back to the adoption agency, which isn't a good idea, or you ran away. Which is it?"
"I plead the fifth," she argued.
"We're not the police, so it doesn't work that way," House countered. "However, that eliminates the second possibility. So either they're dead, or you're a runaway, and since I haven't seen any recent Amber alerts, that means you've been orphaned. Again," House said, not letting up on anything he was saying, only letting it stab at her.
"If anything, we have to call you in. Unless of course your dad magically appears and claims you as his own," House said. The girls missed the hint, but Wilson caught it dead-on.
"Now then," he turned his attention back to Kasi, who gulped. "It's obvious someone's beating you, yet you're smart enough to know that you're safe here, since no one's been able to contact whoever it is. It
isn't Shorty here," Bryn glared at him, "because then it would have been her going to your room, not the other way around. By the size of the bruises," Kasi realized that her gown had slipped off her shoulder, and quickly replaced it. "I'd say that it's a guy doing it, most likely your foster father. Otherwise, it's a woman on steroids or a gorilla. It would explain why you won't give us any information, and why you look half-starved."
Kasi glared at him. He'd gotten it right on the nose, and they all knew it. For both of them.
"Fuck off," Bryn spat. How dare he come in here and act like he'd known them their entire lives. "I'd like you to prove half of what you just said."
"So what?" Kasi added. "It's not like you care what happens to us. And don't be a hypocrite. You guys know something you're not telling us."
House actually looked at her. He hadn't thought she'd picked up on anything.
"I bet the only point you've been able to pick up on it so well is because you were," she accused.
House didn't let his reaction show, but she was right due to how his father was with him when he was younger. But he didn't go as far as Kasi's foster father had.
"We still have tests we need to run. Now then, I know it'll be hard for you to do, but I need you to not lie." He looked at them both, and got up to leave.
"Only if you don't," Kasi replied.
House, though angry that she wasn't backing down, couldn't help but appreciate it at the same time. He stepped outside of the room to face Wilson.
"We need to talk about this," Wilson said. Unfortunately, they were still within earshot of the girls.
A catcall came from the room. "Dude! Couple of gay men! I wanna watch!" Kasi yelled, causing Bryn to nearly fall over from laughing at the unexpected outburst.
Wilson blushed, and House replied, "Touché. Now get back to your room."
House-House-House-House-House
As soon as they'd made it to the noisy cafeteria, House said, "Should I be finding adoption papers?"
Wilson glared at him. "I don't know what to do." And he didn't. How do you suddenly pick up a life with a sixteen year old girl where the only thing that you have in common is your blood?
"Wow. That's a first for you," House said and stood up. He left with his Reuben and fries without paying, leaving Wilson to jog and catch up.
"I don't think you actually understand what having a child is," Wilson said, catching up with the diagnostician.
"What?" he asked with a full mouth. "Two people exchange fluids, and a parasite pops out." Those passing by, and Wilson, glared at him for using such blunt and crude terms, especially where people were eating.
"And this is why we should all hope you never reproduce. Otherwise we'll have to hope that the anti-Christ doesn't kill us all with the snark that you would pass down to them," Wilson countered, taking a bite of his own sandwich. He shook his head. "I don't even know why I'm having this conversation with you."
"If you told Cameron, she'd make you feel like a bad person. Foreman doesn't care, and Chase would just tell you to do what you think you should, just to piss off Cameron." Wilson looked confused. "She broke up with him," House explained. "Who wouldn't want to piss off their ex?"
"You would, but Chase isn't like you. From what I hear, he's actually trying to convince her to have a relationship."
"I guess wombats don't have big brains."
House's beeper began to go off.
He looked at it, and said, "Your kid's fever skyrocketed." With that he stood and started towards the elevator to get back to Bryn's room.
House-House-House-House-House
"What's wrong with her?" Kasi asked as the two doctors appeared. She'd seen the doctors rush towards Bryn's room. She would have followed, but Chase was right there with a tray of food.
"We're…not sure yet," Chase said, handing her the tray, which she quickly tore through. "When was the last time you ate?"
"Lunch," she replied in between bites.
Chase raised his eyebrow.
"What? I'm not kidding." She said, barely giving herself time to swallow before replying. "I've felt like I've been starving for a few weeks." As an afterthought, she added, "And no, my foster dad isn't starving
me to death. I'm the one who makes the food or orders it." There was no point in keeping the act up anymore. That gimp doctor had already called both her and Bryn on their bluffs.
"Have you had any bazaar cravings?"
"Nope. Just hungry a lot."
"Thirsty?"
"I guess it's increased a little, but I figured it's cuz it's getting warmer."
"How much have you been drinking lately?" Chase asked, thinking of any possible diseases could be the underlying cause.
"Two to three water bottles. About twenty-four ounces, I think. Five if I'm out skating or something."
"Well, we'll see what we can do with that information then," Chase said, taking the empty tray with him.
"Can I get some more? The food sucks, but I'm seriously hungry…"
Chase rolled his eyes, but said he'd see what he could do since she was under weight.
House-House-House-House-House
"All right then. Bridget-"
"Bryn," Wilson corrected, using a sharper than usual tone, causing the fellows to look at him strangely.
"—Reached a temperature of 103.7, passed out, and is still unconscious." House looked at the four doctors.
"Kathy—"
"Kasi," Cameron corrected this time.
"—On the other hand, is under weight, claims to eat every day, drinks a lot of water, and has a steady fever at about 101. Ideas people!" House yelled dramatically.
"An infection. Possibly in the brain," Foreman replied, motioning to Bryn's board.
"Run an MRI."
"Might be mono. For either of them," Cameron said. "Symptoms vary from each case, and it's common among teenagers."
"Did you check their lymph nodes when they were in the clinic?" House asked Chase.
"No. They came in for burns."
"Check them, and run the test."
"Kasi might have type one diabetes. She's been drinking and eating more, and is under weight. Plus all the skittles she eats. They could be causing blood glucose levels to run high."
"Check her pancreas, see if it's functioning. And check her blood sugar. If she's low, get some insulin in her." House then looked at Wilson. "No suggestions?"
Wilson glared at him. "You know I can't."
"Sure you can. Just not on the related one," House said, specifically making sure that the ducklings heard him.
"You're related to one of them? Why didn't you say anything?" Cameron asked.
"Whoops…my bad!" House said mockingly.
"I ran…a paternity test. On Bryn. I recognized her mother's name as a girl I dated seventeen years ago, when I was still in college. I ran the blood you guys got, and it came back positive," Wilson admitted.
"So you're Bryn Amantea's father?" asked a new voice. They all turned to see a woman in a business suit with a briefcase. "My name's Heather Tate. From Social Services. We've been looking for Ms. Amantea for almost a year now. The Wrights had been taking care of her when they were killed in a shooting last year, and she'd disappeared. We questioned Kasmira, but she said she didn't know where her friend was, and we figured that she'd gone to a shelter for teens." She looked at Wilson dead-on. House took the paternity test lying face down on the table and handed it to the worker. "Were you looking to take custody of her, seeing as you're her biological father?"
"I'm not sure. I only found out a few hours ago."
"And does she know?"
"Nope," House answered for him. "Oh. You were still talking to Wilson. My bad."
"As for Kasmira Pascal, we went to Samuel Shores' house to find him passed out, drunk. We also found several traces of blood, which we assume is Ms. Pascal's since she was phoned in as being abused. Mr. Shores is in jail as we speak."
A silence passed over the room.
"So, until you decide if you're going to take custody of Bryn, I'll act as both girls' guardian."
Author's Note: Okay, this is Emo Sk8er Gurl, and I would like to apologize for the delay on the story. I kinda...forgot to update. Even though Raven told me to. Several times. Anyways, I noticed that at least one person got who was suppose to be Wilson's daughter of the two, so I hope this chapter cleared it up. Anyways, sorry for the delay, and hope you liked this chapter!