AN: So, hello! This will be, hopefully, a collection of humorous one-shots. As a side note, these were mostly inspired by a set of comics I drew for my sister (no you cannot see them; I'm not that adventerous!). Any other inspiration comes from roleplays I did with my sister (she's a very good springboard for ideas! We bounce ideas off of each other all the time). So, I have a few more chapters written, and some others planned. And 'Goggle Boi' will update soon. Please tell me what you think; you know I love concrit, but not as much as positive feedback! /winks/
The plastic countertops shone dully underneath the industrial lights. They lit the entire work area, as if to say, "We're bright! We're cheery!" The pictures behind the counter glowed with bright, primary colors, designed to attract the eye and whet the appetite. There were distracting pictures and choke-able toys.
Behind the counter stood a young man. He would have been attractive had there been even the slightest spark dancing in his brown eyes. But there was none. His eyes were half-lidded, vacant and dull. He looked defeated, but his face was kept carefully blank.
As the first customer of the day stepped up to his counter to order, he introduced himself. "HellomynameisRaitocanItakeyourorder."
It had been a long day. Raito took orders, money changed hands. He did as the register dictated. It was nearing the end of his shift, and if it were possible for him to long for anything in this soul-sucking place, he'd have said that he wanted to go home.
It was almost time to go home. The end of another day was drawing to its predictable close. The door opened to let in a customer, and Raito straightened imperceptibly. The man hunched over to the counter. He had straggly dark hair, and his feet seemed to be crammed into old tennis shoes without socks. He studied the back-lit menu for a long time. Raito held perfectly still. At length, the man spoke.
"Do you carry cake?" he husked.
For a moment, Raito's brain refused to work. He had not expected to be asked trick questions (had not, in fact, expected anything for a long while). Finally, a mist seemed to clear in his head. "Wehaveapplepiewouldyouliketotryacombomeal," he offered.
The strange customer seemed quite taken aback. "You only have apple pie?" he asked mournfully.
"Wouldyoulikeourpieandfrymeal?" Raito asked politely.
The customer sighed. "I suppose it'll have to do," he muttered. "I'll have an apple pie, or a slice, or whatever you serve here." He looked up hopefully. "You couldn't add some ice cream to that, could you?"
"Ourapplepieismadewithrealapples," Raito said uncertainly.
The man sighed again. "Just the pie, please."
"Comingrightup," Raito promised.
The weird customer paid for his pie and Raito watched him hunch over to a booth and clamber into it awkwardly. He hunched over his pie and seemed to eat it with indecent quickness. When he was done eating, he took care of his own tray.
Raito watched him go, and almost-wished that he didn't feel so dead inside.