Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I own nothing! Stephenie Meyer owns it all! Lucky...
Emmett is being mischievous, and Edward is making human food. I wonder what will happen... Please review!
Of Aprons and Blackmail
Emmett POV
Ugh. As I emerged from Rose and me's room, I noticed the air had a stench. I realized it was human food, which meant only one thing- Bella was cooking. Hmmm… Maybe I should help the little human cut the meat up, with a knife that could just happen to slip out of my hand, and then be caught just before it was close to Bella. Yes! This is going to be fun…the look on Edward's face will be priceless!
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT EMMETT!" I heard Edward scream. Damn! That boy needs to keep out of my mind! Well, there goes my fun for today. Oh well, me and Rose are human-sitting this afternoon, so today won't be a complete bore. As I walked downstairs, I was overcome with feelings of lust and passion. I discovered the source of my emotions when I looked at the couch. Alice and Jasper were having one of their "moments", so I walked into the kitchen, and started laughing so hard, if I were human, I think I might have just peed in my pants.
By the stove was Edward, stirring some sort of stir fry, in a pink apron. This wasn't just any pink apron, either. On the front, in bold black lettering, it said, "Don't mess with me! I'm PMSing." While I was laughing, I thought a question to Edward. The answer made me crack up even more.
Edward jerked his head over toward Bella, and through gritted teeth, said, " Bella gave me this to wear because I keep spilling sauce on myself." then, too fast for Bella to hear, "EmmettIswearIwillfindawaytokillyouifyoutellJasperabouthis!" To which I only replied,
"I won't, I promise." With that, I decided it was time to go to the treaty's boundary line. When I got into my Jeep, I figured it would be best to go to Bella's house first, so I could get a certain phone number.
When I rang the doorbell and Charlie came to the door, he looked confused. "Emmett, what are you doing here? Bella's not here, so obviously your brother isn't."
"Oh, no, Charlie, I'm not interested in that, I was just wondering if you could give me Jacob Black's phone number," I said as cool as I could, trying to not show any sense of a plan that I had made.
"Why don't you just get it from Bella or Edward? I know they both have Jacob's number." Charlie looked confused and a little suspicious of me, so I figured I would tell him something so I wouldn't think anything Edward might pick up that I didn't want him to hear and Charlie would stay oblivious to my actual motives.
"Oh, it's a surprise for Edward's….birthday. I wanted to ask Jacob if he could come to a party I'm planning for Edward, but if Bella knows about this, she'll tell Edward, so I figured I would ask you for Jacob's phone number." Hey, that lie wasn't half-bad. And Rose thinks I can't lie. I looked at Charlie, who scribbled something onto a piece of paper and handed it to me. "Thank you, Chief Swan!" I exclaimed, relieved that I got away with lying to a police officer. Some humans can be intimidating when you're being evil.
As I drove over to the boundary line, I tried to think of my wife in the shower- which is one of the only things that will keep Edward out of my head. I figured Alice must be freaking out right now, because my future disappeared from her head about half an hour ago.
When I arrived at the boundary line, I opened up the paper Charlie had given me and dialed the number written on it. Let the fun begin!
"Excuse me, but I don't generally care to speak to steroid-addicted leeches." Man, that kid had nerve.
"Do you want to get some dirt on Edward?" I whispered into the phone.
"Why?"
"I can help. If you want to, come to the boundary line within 10 minutes from now." I hung up the phone, and called Alice so she could relax.
Alice POV
When my phone rang, Jasper was trying his best to convince me that if Emmett was getting involved with the werewolves, he would tell someone, and kept sending waves of calm over me. I looked at the caller ID, and saw it was Emmett. I picked up the phone, and heard Emmett say , "Nothing's wrong. Just wreaking havoc on our dearest brother with the help of Bella's dog." just before he hung up. I think he meant to calm me down, but he just pissed me off. Rosalie needs to teach Emmett phone etiquette, because he is so rude sometimes.
Jacob POV
"All right, bloodsucker, you dragged me here, now what do you want?" I mumbled.
"You really ought to be more grateful to me. I am giving you the best opportunity for humiliating and blackmailing my brother that you can get. Right now, at my house, he is cooking with Bella. His outfit is quite…interesting." The bloodsucker's lips turned into a malicious smile, and I knew I would be glad I had my camera in my car.
Please review! I need to know what everybody thinks, as this is my first story, and if I have no skills, I should know so that I don't make a fool of myself.