"Bella" Edward said, he was holding both my hands and looking into my eyes. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine" I replied. "Because you know we don't have to do this right now. We can postpone it if that's what you want. I don't want you to feel pressured."
"No I'm ready now, I really am." Still unconvinced, he brushed my hair aside and searched my eyes.
"I'm scared Edward" I said
"I know love, I know" Edward said holding me tight "but it will pass"
"No I'm not scared of the pain; I'm scared that you won't love me anymore, when you see me change, when I'm a monster. All the things you love will disappear, my smell, my blush, my blood"
"Bella, the things I love will not change. I swear to you. I love you, your intelligence and insight, your absurdity, your sensitivity, your ridiculous modesty" he said with a grin. "And no matter what you think, you are beautiful" He moved his lips across my collarbone, kissing my fluttering pulse.
"What if those things disappear too? What if my personality changes? What will there be to love then?"
"Bella, I order you to stop worrying" he said. "There is nothing you can do about it. Besides you will not change and I will always love you. I'm not going anywhere, not without you. You are my love, my life."
"Don't let me hurt anybody Edward" I groaned "No matter how much I want to, don't let me, do you promise?"
"I promise" he repeated Edward sat down beside me, holding my hand; he kissed it; once, twice, again and again, softly. He examined my wedding ring then pressed his lips against my finger and then moved his lips up my hand, up and up, kissing my arm, smelling as he went. Then he pulled back and exhaled. He had a serious look on his face.
"Bella, I want to do this at twilight; it's the safest time for us you know"
"Ok"
"While we're waiting I think you should have a sleep. You must be exhausted."
"I don't want to, you aren't in my sleep"
"Please, for me. It will help you calm down. This is you last chance to sleep, do realise? You will miss it you know. You can escape for a little while, where there are no worries, no fears, it is the one place where you can truly let go."
"Please, for me. It will help you calm down. This is you last chance to sleep, do realise? You will miss it you know. You can escape for a little while, where there are no worries, no fears, it is the one place where you can truly let go."
"Please" he pressed. Edward was using my own weapon against me and like him, I couldn't resist.
"Ok" I caved. "But only if you lie with me"
"Where else would I be?" He said and lowered himself beside me. I nuzzled my head into his chest, under his chin. Edward wrapped his arms around me.
"Bella, I have wanted this for so long, this intimacy, comfort and peace. I love you so much. Edward said contentedly. I think you are right, I couldn't hurt you anymore, I couldn't live with myself if I did. So don't be afraid my love"
"I am not afraid of you, I trust and love you implicitly" I whispered in reply. And with that I succumbed to my tired body's desire and let the rolling waves of sleep take over...