Burly, Large and In Charge…
…or so I thought.
You thought I was the wolf, right?
Maybe you even thought I was Red for a second, depending on what you study.
Well, I'm not that flea-ridden carcass, who calls himself Wolf. Nor am I an adolescent figure of virginity (or lack thereof, again, depending on what you study). I heard that wolves are "misunderstood" creatures. Is that what they're calling murderous minorities nowadays?
Misunderstood.
Yes, I'm the woodcutter. I would have thought you'd get that from the "large and in charge" part, but apparently times have changed. Red used to call me "all brawn" once, but that doesn't mean much in society these days. Ever since that whole post-modern phenomenon happened.
Now that feminism has exploded I seem to be limited to sawing wood and getting beaten down every time I try to add my two cents.
It's always, "You can't just barge in like that when you think something is wrong," and "I'm fine by myself, I signed for this mace ages ago," and "wolves are misunderstood," this and "stop acting like my father," that. Christ, I know there's more room for women in the world, but does that mean it's okay to ignore everything men say? Sexist, cautious, it's all the same to me.
Even Granny has shunned my company. She's always off to the book club with "the girls" ever since Red moved to the big city to be in some Max Factor commercial. Riding Hood Red will bring the wolves out.
I used to have a purpose in the old Tale. I was written in for the sole purpose of saving Red. I lived for her. I lived to kill that wolf. Somewhere along the way it became acceptable for them to be in bed together and I was deemed "sexist." Red has to make it on her own, they said. Women aren't meant to be reared from father to husband anymore, they said. Your role as savior is over, they said. Male Oppressor. They said. You said.
The last straw was when the woods were paved over for a mini-mall. They loved that. Woodcutters are less important than you'd think when it comes to levelling a forest. It's all power tractors and steamrollers. I gave up the woodcutting business a long time ago anyway. The seventies gave rise to that hippie movement and I was tagged as a menace to the environment. I could be worse.
I run a bowling alley now. And who doesn't like bowling? Who?