DISCLAIMER: Hikaru no Go and its characters belong to Hotta Yumi and Obata Takeshi.
WARNINGS: Sequel to "The Long Awaited Confession". No spoilers per se, but might be a bit difficult to understand if you didn't read the manga or didn't see the anime. Language – from our dear Hikaru, maybe others – possible underage drinking again and mild boy on boy theme. Or maybe not so mild, depending on my mood.
A/N: I apologize for any errors, discrepancies, inaccuracies or mistakes for they are all mine, as this work is unbeta'd. Reviews are really appreciated. And MalaikaNina deserves a double-chunk chocolate cookie for writing the first review. Thank you.
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I want to hear these words again
'I love you, Hikaru.' I hear the bathhouse door shut. I wait a few seconds to be sure to be out of earshot. I don't want Shindou to hear this. Then I let my head fall back on the shiny tiles of the bath and whisper the words he was asking for.
"I love you…"
I step unhurriedly out of the hot bath, my body shaking. I stagger a bit and grab my towel before tying it around my waist. I feel physically and emotionally exhausted by both the ordeals I have faced today. As I lift my head, my eyes meet Waya's who is standing in the corner of the room. My heart plummets. It seems today's hardships are not yet at an end as he moves toward me. I close my eyes.
"Not now, Waya." My voice is quivering. "Please not now."
I can feel his arm thrown over my shoulder. I can't help but wonder if he has witnessed what has just happened. If so, will he hit me? Strangle me? Drown me?
"Maybe I have misjudged you, Touya." He says in a low voice. "I have never liked you, but maybe this time, my opinion of you was too hasty. Nonetheless let me tip you off, right here and right now. Shindou is a dear friend of mine; hell, he's more than a friend, he's like a little brother to me. So be warned, if you break his heart, I'll break your neck…"
He lets go of my shoulder and gets out of the bathhouse leisurely. Suddenly, the extent of today's events is too much for me to bear and I slump heavily on the floor. I despise myself for feeling so weak, but as I am finally alone, I guess how its looks like doesn't matter much.
I make it back to my room and slip into the yukata provided by the inn without bothering tying the waistband. I unfold the futon, make the bed for the night and snuggle under the covers. I try to will myself to sleep, not to avail. I doze off late in the night, drifting in and out of a fitful sleep. A particular dream jolts me awake as dawn is near. The vivid images of Shindou – stroking my hair, kissing me, petting me, fondling me – are overwhelming me. I can almost feel the touch of his naked body against mine.
I close my eyes and try to calm my ragging breath, when I hear a light knock on my door. I don't answer. I don't want to answer, as I am pretty sure it is Shindou. The door is cracking open, a bleach-banged head peering inside.
"Touya, you awake?" He whispers.
"Do you realise it is not well-mannered for you to enter a room before being invited to, Shindou, nor is it polite to wake up someone at dawn?" I answer more sharply than I intend.
"I think we need to talk…" He replies and my heart crashes down in my chest. My thoughts are swirling and none of them are good. 'He doesn't remember…' 'He remembers and regrets it…' 'He remembers and blames me for it…' I can't think of a positive outcome, so I turn my back to him and say: "I don't really want to talk right now. You should go back to your room and maybe we'll talk at a decent hour." Tears are stinging my eyes but I will not cry over this. This is so cliché to cry over unrequited love.
"Don't push me away, Akira… Please, don't push me away." I stay silent despite his use of my given name but it doesn't deter him to go on. "I wasn't drunk last night. I had a couple of beers and maybe I was a bit buzzed, but I wasn't drunk. I remember…" I can hear him getting closer and feel him sitting on the edge on my futon. "Akira… Akira, I remember…" I don't make a sound. I will wait for him to say something, anything that will give me a clue about how he feels.
"I like the feeling of your hair in my hand. I like the taste of your lips; you taste like cherry. I like how comfortable I feel with you. I like being your rival in go and your friend in life. I even like how we shout at each other like kids when we try to analyse our games. I like everything about you…" He pauses.
I have a lump in my throat. A single tear is trailing down my cheek. I don't want to answer yet. I want him to tell me more. I hear him sigh.
"Akira… I don't know if you understand but the only thing I think about every hour of every day is you. When I play go, I think about you criticising my sloppy moves and it helps me getting better. When I want to eat ramen, I think about you chiding me for my terrible eating habits. When I use swear words, I think about you telling me that I have no manners. I have no idea how it came to this, but the only thing on my mind is you all the time." He pauses again.
I don't say anything yet. 'I love you, Hikaru, but it's your move now…'
"You didn't want to say these words to me again last night… I would love to hear you say these words again, because a drunken confession is not good enough… But I suppose it's my turn, right? So look at me, Akira." He puts his hand on my shoulder and pulls me to him. I can only look at his mouth as he pronounces these fateful words.
"I love you…"
Maybe we should have realised that staying late in bed in my room was not such a good idea. Shindou is lying on top of me, nuzzling against my neck, one of his knees prying my legs open. The hem of my yukata barely covers my groin. Both of Shindou's hands are on my uncovered chest and his lips are sucking hard on the junction between my throat and my collarbone, leaving a purple hickey on my pale skin. Both my hands are gripping the covers as I moan in delight at the erotic sensations building up in my body.
We don't hear the door clicking open. We don't see Ashiwara gaping at the sight of our flushed bodies, but I blench when I hear Waya sniggers: "Told you so…" The door is slammed shut, leaving us alone once more.
"What the fuck are we going to do now, Akira?" Shindou whispers, once the shock subsides.
"Language, Hikaru! You have no manners…" I deadpan.
I am well rewarded when Shindou, grinning widely at my usual statement, gives me a light peck on the mouth.