Chapter 5

Piles of Shit

Dave and Cody walked out of the choir room, and with one last glance, they walked their separate ways.

Hey, I'm outside by the dumpster. See you in a few. :) – Cody

Stuck behind traffic, be there in 5. :/- Kurt

Thank Jesus that he's running a little late. That would NOT have been good if anyone had walked in on Dave's hysterics.

I know this is weird coming from the guy who just tried to kill you, but would it be okay if we hung out tonight?- Dave

Wow. He's more manic than I am. Eh, what the hell?

It's a date. ^_^- Cody

There was a lengthy pause.

Really?- Dave

Well where do you have in mind?- Cody

My dad is out of town. Wanna come to my house?- Dave

After today, any normal person would tell him HELL TO THE NO NAW! But… For some reason, I can't say no to him. Against my instincts, I shall be reckless.

I could do that. :) – Cody

What time can I come get you? – Dave

How about I just call you when I'm ready to leave the house? Mother is a very fickle mistress. ^_^- Cody

Sounds good.- Dave

… Thank you- Dave

For what…?- Cody

For forgiving me. – Dave

Cuz I-I-I so hard! A yeah yeah yeah!

Muffled music was blaring closer and closer. Kurt finally came careening around the corner. He was wearing a pair of gaudy sunglasses highly inappropriate for the time of day. The sky was in the middle of blue and pink.

"Hello there Cody!"

Cody smiled and did the Princess Diana wave in a quick robotic motion. He quickly went around to the passenger side and entered the beautiful black SUV. As soon as Cody got into the car, Kurt looked directly at his neck. His sunglasses fell off and his eyes grew wide.

Fuck.

Cody quickly raised his hand to his neck. Kurt's eyes began to harbor fury.

"Kurt, before-"

"WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU!"

"It was nothing!"

"Tch! You expect me to believe that when your neck is purple! I mean what the hell happened!"

"Kurt, things just… escalated."

Cody could tell that he wasn't making things any better. He didn't know what to say. How could he make Kurt understand that even though Dave manhandled him, he was oddly attracted to him?

Why didn't I wear a scarf today? NOOOOO!

Kurt started digging through his hand bag. Cody knew exactly what he was doing. He was about to get out his phone and call someone to ruin Dave's life. Kurt finally had dirt on Dave that would never wash away.

Gotta think quickly!

Cody thrust his hand in to the hand bag and seized Kurt's hand. Kurt's eyes shot up at him spewing sheer fury and confusion. Cody did the only thing he knew that would take Kurt's mind off of nailing Dave.

Grab. Squeeze. Kiss.

Kurt's finger twitched.

His lips are so slathered in lip gloss; it's like kissing a girl! EEEEEEWWWW!

Finally, after five seconds of what seemed like an eternity of exploding glitter bombs, it was over. Cody inwardly shuddered. Luckily, Kurt was too star-struck to notice. As Cody made eye contact with Kurt, trying to play off being smitten, he noticed that Kurt's face began to glow. It was as if Kurt could have lit the solar system with his smile. Kurt went to hug Cody, and inside Cody knew he should turn back before things got too hairy, but he decided for time being, he might as well go along with it. While embracing, Kurt whispered in Cody's ear.

"That was my first kiss… at least one that counted anyway."

Don't tell me THAT!

"And I thought I was going to be lonely in Ohio."

Kurt squeezed even harder.

What have I done?

Just as Kurt was about to open his slathered mouth to say something else, his phone began to ring. Kurt's face melted.

"It's my dad."

"Well I guess you should answer it."

Kurt nodded.

"Hello? … What?... Are you sure?... Fine, I'll be there in five."

"Why do you look so depressed?"

"My dad said that I need to go pick Finn up from Rachel's."

Do I get out of this?

Cody tried his best to look disappointed.

"So does that mean we can't go get some coffee now?"

Kurt sighed, and grabbed Cody's hand. He spoke with an ascending tone, trying to be reassuring.

"We can get some coffee tomorrow."

Cody smiled.

"I'm sure it will be grand!"

After a little more small talk and awkward silence, Kurt proceeded to drive Cody home. Once they pulled up to his house, Cody and Kurt were staring at each other, both at loss for words. Both for different reasons. Finally, Cody broke the silence.

"Well, I better get going."

Please don't want another kiss.

"Yeah me too, Finn will be wondering where I'm at soon."

Kurt bit his lip and looked at the floor. Cody leaned in to give him a hug.

I hate what I've done. Now it's going to be all awkward with Kurt.

Cody pulled away and got out of the car. He grabbed his bag and smiled at Kurt.

"Bye, Kurt. See you tomorrow!"

Kurt managed a wave. Cody couldn't read his expression.

"Bye!"

And with that, Kurt started down the road. Cody went straight to his room. His mother was passed out on the couch.

Perhaps she'll stay like that until tomorrow.

Cody plopped himself down on the bed and set his alarm. Three hours to sleep.

Today has just been too much. It's one pile of shit after another. Zzzzzz

!GLEEBREAK!

Dave went down stairs and opened up the fridge. He was really thirsty. He picked up a soda but put it back. Dave really wanted to lose some weight, and drinking soda in the evening wasn't a good way to start. He always thought of his weight as a problem. Ever since he was little, he had always been a little chunky, and his peers didn't waste time making sure that he knew it.

Fat, dumb AND gay. Wow. I deserve to get punched in the face by Jesus himself!

Reluctantly, Dave poured himself a glass of water.

Is it so wrong to want satisfaction out of the things I ingest?

The water was just as bland as he thought it would be. Dave sat down tapping his fingers on the kitchen table. He looked at the clock. It was almost 10:30. Dave could feel a smile grow on his face. He had never felt happy like this before. It was like he was some sort of drug.

Oh my god, I can't wait to call Cody! … Wait. Am I really getting this excited over a dude?

Dave leaned back and looked around checking to make sure no one was there to hear his thoughts. He relaxed his shoulders and let out a small puff of a laugh. The smile was still there.

I may be fat, dumb and gay… but I can at least be happy.

Dave's thoughts were shattered by his phone ringing.

You make me, feel like I'm living in a teenage dream. The way you turn me on, I can't sleep. So let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back.

Dave stared at his phone and let it ring. He was a little shocked that Cody was calling him instead of the other way around.

"Hello?"

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAVID!"

Cody greeted him in his usual high pitched, overly joyous southern accent.

"Hi."

Dave was frozen with fear. He couldn't bring himself to ask Cody if he was ready or not.

"Hello?"

Dave tried his best to ask it smoothly.

"Where do you live?"

Cody started cackling.

"Yes, dear, I'm ready for action. Mother is passed out on the couch, probably due to her love of Ambien and other things, so I'm free for the night!"

Ready for action? What does he mean by that?

He wants to suck your dick, faggot.

You shut up.

Aww ,you're getting all excited over a fag coming to your house to buttfuck.

SHUT UPP!

Fuck you, faggot!

Go away.

Make me.

Go away, and never COME BACK!

Whatever.

"Daaaavid?"

Dave wiped his nose, and quickly snapped back into reality.

"Uh, sorry."

"It's all good. Well look, I'll just text you my address, and you can GPS your way here. Is that cool?"

Dave smiled brightly.

"It definitely sounds cool. See you in 10?"

"Can't wait, darlin'!"

Darling? Ha, he's kinda cute when he uses his southern words.