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Chapter 7

Much-ness

Cody laid there, feeling Dave's smooth chest. The bigger boy's heart beat provided a sturdy metronome for the smaller boy's thoughts.

I just used the "L" word.

Dave was still squeezing Cody. He felt protected at that moment.

I just used the "L" word with a football player.

Dave let out a shuddery sigh. It was heavy. Cody could relate to what Dave was feeling.

I just used the "L" word with a manic depressive neurotic football player!

Dave grabbed Cody's head and kissed it.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Jesus, I don't know! The last time I said "I love you" I wound up getting heartbroken and addicted to soft core romance novels. This is too soon and too much! I did NOT have all of ducks in a row here.

"Dave?"

Dave let out a satisfied sigh through his nose.

"Yeah?"

"Is this scary to you?"

Dave was silent for a beat.

"I'm not gonna lie. It's definitely uncharted territory."

"So… this feeling of much-ness is mutual, right?"

Cody could feel Dave's stare on his crown. It burned.

"Much-ness?"

"You know? It's like on a hot day and you're about to go swimming. When you jump in, it's really cold and a little overwhelming. You like it, but it sort of takes over too fast and too… much."

"I think I understand…"

"Well, I was wondering if you felt like that too."

Dave moved his body so that he was at eye level with Cody. They were face to face.

"I was scared shitless."

Cody's eyes narrowed.

"You were?"

"I was about to piss my pants all night. But then, for some reason, I got the crazy idea to…"

"Say what you were feeling?"

"Exactly. I'm not saying that I'm completely normal right now, but I felt a hell of a lot better when you told me what you were feeling too."

I wish I knew what I was feeling. I mean, I can't deny that I'm drawn to you, Dave, but there are too many things about myself that I don't think I know the answer to yet. But how could I tell you that? It would crush you.

"I'm glad that you feel better."

Why do I always have to worry so much! Why can't I just lay back and enjoy this like he's doing?

"Wanna know something crazy?"

"Sure."

"From the moment I saw you holding hands with Kurt, I couldn't get you out of my head."

"Is that why you pushed me down in the hallway?"

"Actually, yeah."

Dave… you're bonkers. But I love it.

"Did you do it because you were jealous?"

Dave was afraid to speak. Cody could tell.

"I realize I'm backtracking, but is it okay if I'm completely honest with you?"

Cody laughed.

"Dave, let's be honest. If I was not over the events of yesterday and earlier today, I wouldn't be here right now. So of course you can be honest with me. I would actually prefer it. Hold nothing back!"

Dave had a look of repent on his face. He sighed.

"The minute I saw you, you infected my mind. All I could do was look at you. It made me angry."

"So you attacked to eradicate me?"

"No."

What could it be then?

"I pushed you down, so that you would notice me."

That's so… cute. I mean it's mean, but it's so friggin' cute!

"And how did you feel when I stood up to you?"

"Shocked."

"Really?"

"Yeah. No kid has ever stood up to me before. To be honest, it made me want you more."

This is so dysfunctional! I can't believe I'm hearing this! I love it! Good lord what's wrong with me…

"Wow."

"Cody, I was really mean to you. How could you like me?"

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Of course, dude."

Lol he called me dude.

"I totally dig the whole closeted bully scenario."

"Really?"

"Yes, indeed. Where most people would be unable to forgive you, I think it's kind of hot."

"But I'm not hot though."

Dave's eyes were drooping. He had a frown on as he looked at his fluffy body. He pulled his arm up to cover his chest.

"But you are so hot, Dave."

Dave's eyes shot up.

"Your skin is a wonderful shade of tan, and it's very soft! Your eyes are beautiful. Your arms are powerful. The list goes on and on."

"You really think I'm hot?"

"Yes, indeed."

Dave's face lit up. Cody could tell that he was boosting his self-confidence.

"No one's ever thought I was hot before."

Cody smirked.

"Of course they have. They just haven't had the guts to tell you."

Dave squeezed Cody. They laid there for an inordinate amount of time. Quite honestly, Cody was ready to go to bed. It was already 1:30 a.m. Dave spoke up. He seemed very nervous and stuttered a bunch.

"So… is it alright if I… uh…"

Cody knew exactly what he was getting at.

"Yes?"

Dave's grin grew even wider.

"You're sure?"

"You're asking me out aren't you?"

Dave nodded. His palms were sweating. Cody spoke again.

"And this is the first time you've done this?"

"With a boy at least."

Well, I guess we are basically dating. What could it hurt?

"Dave, I don't think you even had to ask."

Dave's eyes looked shocked. He snorted in surprise.

"So you're my b-b-boyfriend?"

"I'm laying here in my underwear with you. What do you think?"

Dave let go of Cody and laid on his back. He relaxed all of his muscles and stared at the ceiling fan.

"I can't feel my arms or my legs."

"Oh my god, are you serious?"

"I'm just so happy right now."

I thought you were having a heart attack or something! Don't do that to me! AAAGH!

"Don't scare me like that!"

Hello hello baby you called I can't hear a thing.

Cody's phone was ringing. It was Kurt.

Kurt! What the fuck do want at 1:30 in the morning?

"Who is it?"

"It's Kurt."

"Why is he calling you so late?"

Dave seemed a little irritated with Kurt's phone call.

Thank Jesus he doesn't know about what happened in Kurt's car earlier today.

"I don't know. But it could be an emergency, so let me answer it."

"Okay."

"Hello?"

"Cody?"

Kurt sounded morose. It worried Cody.

"Yeah? Kurt what's wrong? You sound like Katy Perry just announced her retirement."

"… I would be happy if that were the case, but that's beside the point. Do you have time to talk?"

"Not really, I'm kinda busy at the moment. I'm in the middle of trying to catch up on the US History. Deano is NOT cutting me any slack!"

Kurt was silent for a little while.

"Oh…"

What am I doing? I'm being a terrible friend right now!

"Are you okay?"

"What does it matter? You don't have time to listen to me anyways!"

"Kurt! That's not the-"

Before Cody could finish his sentence, the call ended.

Crap. I pissed off one of my only friends at school.

"Nice excuse, dude. I never could have thought that quickly on my feet."

He has no idea. Let's keep it that way.

"Did he say what he wanted?"

"Nope."

"Oh, he just called to say hi?"

"More or less."

"Well that's weird. I've always thought Hummel was strange."

Cody felt a flame of resentment well up inside him. Part of him was still upset about how Dave had treated Kurt.

"He's not strange at all."

Dave sensed that he had hurt Cody's feelings. He quickly retracted his statement.

"You're right. I was completely out of line."

That wasn't enough for Cody. He was still burning on the inside. He sat up and looked David in the eyes with anger.

"Why do you like me? I know you have an issue with Kurt because he's so… so fabulous. I'm basically just a red headed deeper voiced Kurt with freckles."

Dave sat up too. He held his ground.

"Because you have balls."

"Kurt has balls! He goes to school every day and endures torture because he's not afraid to be who he is!"

"And he lays down and takes it with a smile on his face every damn day."

Cody was shocked. He inhaled deeply. There was a lot of tension in the room.

"You wanna know the difference between you and Kurt? He's been dealing with this shit since he was 10. Not once has he stood up for himself. You, on the other hand, wouldn't even put up with it for five seconds."

He's so hot when he argues. I'm so mad at him, but damn he's attractive.

Dave noticed that Cody was starting to cool off. And he also noticed that look Cody was giving him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Keep arguing."

Dave blinked. Cody spoke again. He reiterated the command slowly.

"KEEP arguing."

"Um… it's your turn to say something. I already defended my point."

Cody jumped up and straddled Dave. He bent down and whispered into his ear. His straight red hair brushed up against Dave's cheek.

"You'll have to forgive me, but that face you make when you argue… It turns me on."

Cody felt a pressure up against the back of his crotch that wasn't there before. It began to press it's way into existence.

"Um, Cody?"

Cody whipped his head up and put his forehead on Dave's forehead. He let out a vocalized breath. Dave was looking up at him with a worried look on his face.

"Can we um… not do this…"

Oh hell.

Cody blinked and snapped back into reality. He then realized what he was doing. He didn't even warn Dave, or ask him if it was okay.

"Of course. I don't know what I was thinking."

Cody slinked off of Dave and laid down. He rolled over and looked away from Dave in embarrassment. Dave noticed this and rolled over to face Cody's back.

"In case you were worried, you didn't freak me out or anything."

Cody was silent, but somehow he knew Dave could tell that he felt better.

"I didn't mean to rape you."

Dave started laughing. Cody turned around to be met with Dave's jolly face. Dave started caressing Cody's shoulder with the back of his fingers.

"You didn't rape me. Trust me, you can't rape the willing."

"I feel a little better now."

"I didn't want to piss you off or make you feel weird, but I had to tell you."

"No it's fine."

"My virginity is a big deal for me."

?

Cody looked at Dave with shock.

He's still a virgin? I mean, I guess it makes sense since he's never really been close with a boy, but STILL! He cherishes it like some mentally deranged CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRL!

"Oh, yeah. I got you. I completely respect that."

"And I respect your virginity too."

Haha. My virginity was taken on top of a mausoleum in the freezing rain almost a year ago. Oh god… he's gonna think I'm trashy.

"About that… Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not a virgin."

Dave's eyes were wide. His fingers stopped caressing his shoulder.

"Are you mad?"

"Honestly… yeah."

Cody let out a morose sigh. He eyes lost focus.

"But not at you. I'm mad at who ever took your virginity."

Cody just laid there. He was remembering how beautiful it was. How much he cared for that boy.

Don… Dave's mad at you.

"Well is it okay if we talk about it later?"

"Was it traumatic?"

Cody nodded.

"Well that's why I want to lose mine with someone I love."

"I did love him."

Dave didn't know what to say. Cody hoped that he would just drop it.

"I honestly don't know what I can say that will make this better."

Cody sniffed and spoke in a monotone voice. It sounded like a child talking to his mother.

"There something you can do."

"What's that?"

"Can you hold me while I fall asleep?"

Dave's face melted. It was if he just saw a kitten sneeze.

"Of course I can."