AKenzie: HELLO, NYA.:D Guess WHAT. I had ONE reviewer, nya. ONE. …Do you not have any SHAME, people? But as for my ONE reviewer, musicamode, I love you, nya.-heart- And I dedicate this chapter to you, musicamode, which has PLENTY of Kisame in it, nya. Aside from this giant disappointment and love, I've bought a bass music book at The Gear Box, nya… yes, my local music store, nya. As in, musical INSTRUMENTS, nya. I've been playing my bass non-stop, nya. OH. I have some fun for you, nya. My bass' name is Tiburon, and he's BLUE.-heart- Now, go on a Spanish-English translator, or if you know Spanish, woohoo. BUT. Translate it, it's Spanish, then tell me what it means in a review, nya. If you get it right then I'll let you submit ideas for chappys, nya!

Well, now, read on, nya!

AJenna: I didn't get to say anything…

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It was a beautiful morning.

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and all the forest critters were out and about, scurrying about their cheerful way. The trees rustled pleasantly and the flowers danced in the soft breeze. It was a picture of storybook perfection, it was a sugar-infused view stuffed with merriness, it was-

"MY GOD, YOU STUPID ANIMALS! CAN'T YOU SHUT UP FOR FIVE. FRAKING. MINUTES?!" Kenzie threw open her window and bellowed at the cute-n-cuddly lil animals that were making an exceedingly loud racket.

Kenzie grumbled and fell back onto the bed, pulling the covers over her head. However, instead of hitting her usual nest [don't ask., she collided with wood. [You know, in the nature of Japanese-style futons. But don't worry too much, people – if you even did .. – this wood was in fact a hardwood floor, and this floor was covered with some blankets. Not that that helped much.

"Urgh… What's this…? Ow…" Kenzie slowly sat up, cricking her spine. She blinked. Actually, she appeared to have just awoken from a deep and restful sleep.

Kenzie suffers from a mild form of amnesia. Have patience.

"Where am I…?" Now this was not Kenzie's normal amnesia. She surveyed the unknown room with a look of confusion.

"…Oh, those dumb animals." Kenzie glared at the window, rubbing her head. Being a tragic victim of memory loss and henceforth having forgotten her spaz a few moments previous, she yawned and headed for the door.

Standing there in the doorway she stared groggily at the wall in front of her for a while. She perked up when voices wafted down the long and narrow hallway. Sleepily, she followed them and wound up in a kitchen. Albeit a messy one.

No.

Messy was an understatement.

The sink was overflowing with dirty dishes that spilled onto the surrounding counters, something VILE smelling floated from the open fridge, remnants of breakfast lay scattered on the table, food from Jashin-knows-when was molding and decaying on the floor, cupboards, table, garbage, EVERYWHERE.

Kenzie took a step back, gagging and covering her nose with her arm, shielding herself [poorly from the stench. As she did so, she bumped into someone.

Green eyes wide with surprise she turned around to find out who it was. All she saw was a black cloak with read red clouds on it. So she looked UP.

A very tired Kisame was rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Kenzie was still staring up at him, her sleeve still covering her nose and mouth.

Now, Kisame was tired. Tobi had been jumping around the house all night, knocking over furniture, yelling his head off, chasing DEIDARA. And, of course, when chased by Tobi, as he naturally does, Deidara runs to Sasori. Deidara hasn't been able to do so for a long time, seeing how Sasori has been dead and all, but now he was back, and… well, it'll take much delving into metaphysics and laws of motion and such to explain exactly how Sasori came back. So let's just leave it at Kisame was pretty FUCKING tired.

And now it was morning. And Itachi had most kindly given Kisame a wake up call by kicking him in the ribs. While he'd had been groaning on the ground [Itachi had actually booted Kisame OUT of his bed, that's how hard he kicked him, Itachi had up and left him there to get food before his partner could.

Don't you love teamwork?

Well back to the present, Kisame was pretty hungry, so as soon as he'd rubbed the sleep from his eyes he took a step forward. And ran into something.

"Oof!"

He looked down in surprise at the noise. When he did so he locked eyes with a girl who'd been forced to stumble backwards. Yellow and green stared at each other. And stared. And stared.

…Argh! Who-Who is this again? She's the girl Itachi carried… what was her name?! ARGH! Kisame's thoughts flew around his head. This was no good. Kisame could barely even walk straight after he woke up, let alone try to remember something.

"Uh, good morning. I'm Hoshigaki Kisame. Pleased to meet you, and hope to get to know you." Kisame bent at about a forty-five degree angle, giving the forgotten-name girl a soooper-polite bow.

"Uhhh…" Kenzie really didn't know how to respond to this big blue guy who was about seven inches taller than her and who'd she run into twice [K: Well, technically, once. bowing to her.

"Um, I-I'm Mackenzie Bishop. Just call me Kenzie," she bowed super-politely too, not quite sure what was going on.

Mackenzie! Now I remember. Okay. Okay. Now: food. Kisame walked into the kitchen and ran back out, almost knocking into Kenzie again.

"Yeah, I know," Kenzie commented on both the stench and the disgust on Kisame's face, which he was currently hiding behind his cloak sleeve.

Kisame just coughed.

"…Is it ALWAYS like that?" she asked him. Kisame looked at her and said nothing.

"You've got to be kidding me," Kenzie's mouth hung open disbelievingly. She could tell the answer from the older man's silence and eyes.

"You mean it ALWAYS smells like a rotting corpse in there?" Kenzie indicated at the apocalyptic scene in the kitchen.

"Erm… well, it's usually not THIS bad. It looks like Kabuto skipped his turn last week, the bastard…" Kisame scratched the back of his neck. His face was flushed too; as if this situation wasn't bad enough already, now his face was turning purple.

"But, wait… I'm really hungry. But I can't go in there." Kenzie glanced into the kitchen and her stomach churned at the sight. She and Kisame looked at each other desperately, hoping they didn't have to do it.

"We-we gotta clean, don't we?" Kenzie sighed in despair. Kisame groaned. They looked back at the disaster, praying for it to disappear. If Hidan's god could make it go away they'd convert in a heartbeat.

"Well, I've, um, business to attend elsewhere," Kisame said hurriedly.

"Hey! You can't just leave me to tackle this sea of decay by myself!" Kenzie grabbed the neck of Kisame's cloak when he turned around to run away. They were interrupted by an unbelievably loud grumble issuing from Kisame's stomach. Kisame's face flushed purple. His stomach growled again. Kenzie grinned.

"Ha! YOU'RE hungry too! Now you HAVE to help me clean," Kenzie declared happily, dragging Kisame backwards into the kitchen. They both ran out.

"Okay, that was stupid," Kenzie said, coughing, as Kisame gagged. "Clearly we need a battle plan."

Kisame looked at her. "Battle plan?"

"Heck YES! Can't you see? That kitchen is a WAR ZONE!" Kisame just looked. "Okay, well, first… pull your shirt or whatever, your cloaky thing, over your nose. Maybe that'll help. In theory. Maybe. Then, um, I'll wash the dishes and you, uh, take that moldy stuff outside. Or maybe Zetsu'll eat it. In theory. Perhaps. Hrm…" Kenzie thought hard, her yellow t-shirt pulled up over her face.

"You seem to spend a lot of your thought process theorizing," Kisame stated. His cloak collar was pulled against his face and over his nose.

"Of course," Kenzie headed for the spilling sink.

"And why do I have to take the moldy stuff?!"

"Just because!!"

And so the Sooper-Dooper Cleaning Duo began their noble work. It wasn't all that sooper though, because Kenzie discovered the drain was clogged, and not so dooper because Kisame ran outside and hurled after a moldy food item ran away from him.

"W-What WAS that?!" Kisame came back inside, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

"I think it's a crab. UNCOOKED." Kenzie was holding the wriggling mold gingerly with two fingers and examining it with a mixture of fascination and disgust.

"CRAB? A CRAB?!" Kisame shrieked hysterically.

"Here, give it to Zetsu later," Kenzie tossed the mold at Kisame, who jumped away.

"WHY DID YOU THROW IT AT ME?!" Kisame yelled. Sure, he was calm and polite; when decaying undead crabs weren't being chucked at him.

"What's your problem? Just think of it as your cousin!"

"COUSIN?? SHARKS AND CRABS AREN'T EVEN CATEGORIZED TOGETHER!"
"Oh, you're a shark, Fish Boy-kun?"

"Kisame."

"I thought you were a piranha or something vicious like that, Fish Boy-kun."

"My name's Kisame! And sharks ARE vicious! AND PIRAHNAS STILL AREN'T RELATED TO CRABS!"
"Okay, okay! Jeez! Getting into all the little technicalities now, aren't we?" Kenzie crawled back under the sink, working on the pipes. Her white long sleeved shirt underneath her yellow t-shirt was rolled up past her elbows. Kisame begrudgingly picked up the crab with his sleeve and trapped it under a cup on the table.

"Hey, get over here and help me with the dishes, Fish Boy-kun," Kenzie slid out from underneath the sink and started to pile up dishes.

"You told me to-" Kisame started.

"I know what I said, Kisame-kun. Just get over here and help me with the dishes," Kenzie turned the tap on. "Besides, it's water."

"What does that have anything to do with me…?" Kisame asked. Kenzie looked up at him. Kisame raised an eyebrow.

"Well, you're a shark, right?" They kept looking.

"Well, not really, but I guess yeah…" Kisame was confused. They continued to stare at each other.

"Oh, never mind," Kenzie turned off the tap and poured in dish soap. When she turned back Kisame was next to her. Kenzie pointed at his arms.

"Aren't you gonna take off your cloak? It'll get all wet." Kisame looked at the loose, baggy sleeves.

"Um, I guess you're right…" He popped open the buttons and shrugged his cloak off, revealing muscled, pale blue arms. He threw it over the back of a nearby chair. When he turned around he saw Kenzie had already plunged her hands into the hot, soapy water.

Kisame looked for a washcloth, found one, grabbed it and a plate with something crusty on it, dropped it in the water and scrubbed.

"You're gonna break dishes is you just drop them in like that, Kisame," Kenzie commented. Kisame didn't answer.

"Can I ask you something Kisame?" Kisame glanced over and saw that he couldn't see the younger girl's face. It was fully concentrated on the sink.

She keeps changing my name! Maybe I'll just call her crab girl-chan…Nah. I'll just end up freaking out again. I just know it.

"Sure you can, Kenzie," he said, one eye narrowing in frustration at a particularly crusty spot on his plate.

"Is you hair always that cute and so all over?" That sink was Kenzie's universe right now. Kisame blushed an intense violet and looked at his reflection in a nearby pot.

"AUGH!!" His dark blue hair was all squished on one side and the other side was going haywire, tufts of hair sticking out in every single angle imaginable.

He rushed to fix it so it stuck straight up and forwards with his wet hands. Kenzie laughed when he splashed soap in his eye. [Ke: Fish Boy-kun's not having a very good morning, is he? Awww… Ki: My name's not Fish Boy-kun! Ke: AUGH!

"Well, well, you two make a cute couple."

Kisame and Kenzie jumped and spun around, blushing violet and scarlet.

Hidan had settled himself down at the table and was smirking at them with his chin in his hand, rather amused at their reactions.

"Hey, something seems different about this place," Hidan perked up, looking around at the clean kitchen with bright eyes. [AKe: Don't ask me how it got clean, it just DID. Actually, the Cleaning Faerie came and helped out our dysfunctional… err, peoples. Yayzers! Miss Cleaning Faerie-sama, please come to my house! CF: Don't be so familiar with me, bitch! –shoots bolt of lightning- AKe: WAAAAAH! JENNA! –runs-

"That's because we cleaned your pigsty, fool!" Kenzie spat out angrily, her blush receding. Kisame had turned away from Hidan, who was smirking perversely at him.

"Oh… can you make me some chocolate chip banana pancakes?" Hidan asked cheerily. "Praying really works up an appetite."

"Go make your own damn pancakes! I'm no housewife!" Kenzie yelled at Hidan. Ooh, she was angry now. Her fists were clenched at her sides, she was using all her willpower not to kill Hidan. Not that that's even possible, seeing how the bastard is immortal.

"You shouldn't be so rude to someone you haven't even been introduced to yet-"

"Same goes for you, bud-"

"-But I must say that you'd make a cute housewife. Especially if you were Kisame's." Hidan winked.

I can say this truthfully from a scientific stance that all of the blood in Kenzie's body then rushed to her face as she stared at the ground in embarrassment.

"Hidan-san! Go away! Get out! That's enough!" Kisame spun around and glared at the white-haired man. Hidan had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing at the intense shade of purple Kisame's face was.

"Alright, alright," Hidan rose from his seat, the chuckle evident in his voice, "but you know, Kisame, I haven't seen you without your cloak for years. She must be something if you took it off," Hidan scanned Kisame in his black muscle shirt and purple face, and Kisame loathed how gleeful he was.

Oohoohoo! Time to get out of here before Kisame kills me. Oh, but wait, I can't die…Ah well. Might as well just get out of here before they attempt to kill me. Heehee, they're gonna break blood vessels if they don't stop blushing! This is going to be fun! I'll have to thank Orochimaru for bringing those girls here… and I'll have to tell Dei and Pein-baka about this…they'll just LOVE it. Heehee… Hidan ran down the hallway, half skipping as he went.

Once the mischievous man had left, all that was left was silence. Oh, and the occasional thwump from the crab Kisame had trapped on the table and everyone had forgotten about.

"D-Don't mind Hidan-san. H-He's an idiot," Kisame stuttered.

"Is that true?" Kenzie mumbled, still staring at the floor like it was her life's vocation to do so.

"Mwuh?" Kisame's voice came out all muffled as a result of him trying to hide his blush with his hand.

"That you haven't taken off your cloak in years?" Kenzie glanced up and saw Kisame's purple face. She went back to her current love interest, the floor – or that's what it seemed like – and smiled.

"Um, w-well, Hidan-san doesn't see me very much. And-And, w-well, I didn't want it to get wet, so, so, um-" Kisame tried to make an excuse to cover his stutter when a herd of people suddenly stampeded to the kitchen.

"Hey! We heard there were chocolate chip banana pancakes in here!" Sasori slammed open the sliding door. He paused and evaluated the situation before him, then grinned evilly.

"Hey! Hey! Sasori Danna! I want some pancakes too, yeah!" Deidara squeezed between the wall and Sasori's body. He too ended up staring.

"Tobi wants some pancakes! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi jumped up and down behind Sasori but when he saw Kisame he crawled onto Sasori's back, interested, forcing Sasori to lean forwards.

"Orochimaru! Put your stupid tongue back in your stupid mouth! You can't just grab pancakes with your tongue! Ew!" A long tongue crept it way into the kitchen, sneaking beneath Sasori's legs. "If you don't do what I just told you you'll be pancake-less for the next seventy-two hours while you watch ME eat mounds and mounds of them!"

"Gack!" Itachi and Orochimaru fell on the ground between and beneath the puppet master's legs; Itachi trying to clamp Orochimaru's mouth shut and make him look into his eyes at the same time. They stopped exactly how they were when they looked into the kitchen, Orochimaru's hands around Itachi's neck and his tongue wrapped his hand, whereas Itachi was trying to uncurl his tongue.

"Get out of my way!" Pein yelled.

"Get out of my way or I'll eat you instead of the pancakes!" Zetsu growled. While Zetsu was trying to bite Pein they were distracted by the kitchen scene and popped up on either side of Sasori to check it out; Zetsu on his left and Pein on his right.

"What's going on? Hey? Hey! …Fine!" Kakuzu jumped around, unable to see anything behind everyone. That is, until his money-centred brain decided he should weasel in between the other side of Sasori and the door. Once he got there, he followed the crowd and stared.

"Oh, hey guys. I see you've found the pancakes," Hidan's voice came from behind the bizarre game of impromptu Akatsuki Twister.

All nine men who'd run in expecting pancakes and found the two in front of the sink stared, and then broke into identical mischievous, perverted smirks. [As for Orochimaru and Tobi, well, Orochimaru smirked as well as one can when their tongue is wrapped around someone hand and Tobi… um… he's wearing a mask so NO ONE knows! Haha!

Kenzie was hiding behind Kisame, clinging onto him. Both of their faces still has slight traces of colour, Kisame more so than Kenzie. Kisame was trying to shield her from the questioning and assuming stares of the Akatsuki. Someone wolf whistled and [AGAIN they blushed. Low chuckles came as a result of this and continued until Kisame spoke.

"G-Guys! I-It's not what it looks like!" Kisame blurted out in a meek attempt to defend himself.

"Oh? Well what DOES it look like, yeah?" Deidara asked, grinning like a madman.

"U-Uhm-Ah…" Kisame couldn't form words.

"Urgh… get off…" Sasori grunted. All these people on top, around and under him were making him lose balance.

"Kisame! Kisame! Tobi wants to know! Does Kisame have a girlfriend?" Tobi asked innocently from Sasori's back.

"Urk!" Kisame went rigid as nine suggestive pairs of eyes fixated on him.

"Yeah Kisame. We want to know that too," Hidan laid his head on top of Tobi's his eyes sparkling.

"Ah, n-no Tobi, I d-don't –"

"AUUGGHH!!" Sasori gave a final yell before he tumbled to the floor, along with everyone else.

"AGH! Ow, ow!"

"Geouff! Geouff!" Everyone ha landed on Itachi and Orochimaru.

"Sasori! Get your ass OFF my head!" Sasori had landed right on Itachi. Orochimaru was barely distinguishable in the sea of legs and bodies he was slowly drowning in.

After several long minutes everyone was sorted out.

"Teach you not to use that damn tongue of yours," Itachi growled and wiped his hand on his pants. Orochimaru simply stuck his tongue back out at him.

"Hey, guys… Where'd they go?" Kakuzu asked out of the blue. Everyone looked around. They smiled evilly when they noted the absence of Kenzie and Kisame.

"I think we have a new mission," Pein grinned.

Thank… God.. we… got… out… of…. There…" Kenzie puffed as she and Kisame leaned against a tree. As soon as the Leaning Tower of Akatsuki had fallen, Kisame had poofed both outside the hideout. They then started run like they were being chased by Satan and didn't stop until they were wheezing worse than a cat with a hairball.

Kisame just nodded and put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

Well, there was one good thing that came out of this. Neither Kenzie nor Kisame had to explain to the Akatsuki there were no pancakes and/or actually make some.

AKenzie: …What? I'm done typing this up, nya? FINALLY? …Wow. Aw man, now I have to start writing the next chappy, nya. xx -dies from homework overload and everything else she has to do, including write more now- But yes, I hope someone reviews this, nya. BESIDES musicamode, of course, nya. She gets a hug for being the first reviwer, nya! –HUG-

AJenna: Do I get to say something now?

AKenzie: No! Go back in the corner, nya! –kicks AJenna-

AJenna: Ow! Hey! I'll you for that!

AKenzie: No y'won't, nya!

Itachi: What's going on?

AKenzie: DEVIL!

AJenna: -fangirl scream-

Itachi: …-sigh- Leader?

Pein: Yeah, Itachi?

Itachi: Where's Orochimaru? I need to kill him.

Pein: …Um, why?

Itachi: Because he's an idiot for bringing these two here. I mean, we're grown men! Who wants to play such a childish game as --! …Um, what are you doing?

AKenzie: o.o –staring-

Itachi: …

AKenzie: Keep going, keep going, nya. We need plot details here, nya!

Itachi: …You know what? Everybody, just review. The sooner you do, she might actually get off my back.

AKenzie: Hey. Keep talking, nya.

Itachi: …Review.

AKenzie: WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, NYA?!