The Family That Hunts Demons Together Stays Together
Dean Winchester and his brother Sam were hunting a slime demon, from the ancient legend of the slime worshipping people of ancient Zabaliboolabah. Sam was reading from a book with a pinlight, straining his eyes to see in the darkness. "It says the slime demons were once regarded as gods, but as the invading tribes began to invade, the gods' favor turned against them and they became demons."
"Yeah, you'd know something about 'god's favor', wouldn't you buddy?" Dean smirked.
"Not funny," Sam said, rolling his eyes in the darkness. Then his pinlight flickered and died. Sam shook it up and down vigorously, trying to make it work.
"Dude, I'm standing right here. Could you wait till you're alone for that?" Dean snerked.
"Could you be serious for one second?" Sam scolded. "We're in the middle of a sewer and our sources say there's a monster here that kills people with horrible disgusting toxic slime, and now we can't see anything. This is no time for masturbation jokes!"
"As long as this doesn't end with your slime--"
"All right, that's it!" Sam said, jumping towards Dean and tackling him to the ground.
As they were wrestling, their hands grasping for eachother's thighs, biceps, and backs, they heard a chanting. Suddenly, they froze in their homoerotic pose. "You hear that?" Dean whispered in Sam's ear.
"Yeah. Sounds like a spell," Sam replied.
The chanting ended and a bright light filled the sewer. Several feet from them stood a redheaded witch.
Dean rolled off of Sam, clambering to his feet. "This isn't what it looks like," he said quickly, enchanted by the beautiful woman.
"It's cool," Willow said with a shrug. "I'm down with the gay. It's a little disappointing when they're so hot, but what can you do?"
"No, no, no," Dean backtracked. "He's my brother."
Willow made a face. "Okay, that I'm a little less down with."
Dean facepalmed. "Here, let me show you what I mean." He stepped closer to Willow, taking her in his arms and kissing her deeply.
Willow was surprised, but kissed him back. He was so handsome, and a really good kisser. She didn't even mind that he was soaking wet and smelled like sewer water. She had to have him, now. She started unbuttoning his wet shirt.
"Uh, guys? Still here?" Sam said, mildly disgusted at the idea of his brother getting action from someone other than him.
Dean broke his kiss long enough to glance back at Sam. "There's a jar of peanut butter in the bag," he said, his hands groping Willow's breasts. "Ancient Sumerians worshipped peanut butter as a god, you know. Should work to get you off."
Sam opened the bag and glanced at the jar of Jiff peanut butter, raising a brow. He wasn't a choosey mom, but..