This is a Sasuke based spoof/parody/whatever. This didn't turn out nearly as well as I thought it would but anyway here it is.
Because we all know to read between the lines and consider all the possibilities. lol
Oh yeah, I own nothing but the plot :)
Sasuke & Orochimaru – He should have seen it coming
Sasuke was not amused. Actually he was rather horrified. Actually, horrified was putting it mildly, as was mortified and petrified, which you may notice are three words that mean almost the exact same thing. Sasuke was, in short, ready to return to Konoha, gouge out his eyes, dye his hair pink and wear "Itachi Rocks" t-shirts. He hadn't signed up for this. He had wanted to train, he wanted to learn new things and he wanted to gain the power to kill Itachi for Kami's sake so why was this happening to him?!
In hindsight he probably should have paid more attention to what this training would require. He should have taken the words for what they meant in every prospect and thought of every possible outcome of things. When the snake had said he wanted his body he merely assumed that the man would be taking over after Sasuke killed Itachi. He never, even for one second, thought he would have to endure this beforehand. He was an Uchiha, these things shouldn't happen to him. Hell he wouldn't wish this on his brother and that was saying something.
When Orochimaru and his newest 'assistant' had gotten back from Snow Country Sasuke had immediately started searching for a place to hide. Kabuto had been unusually helpful in helping him hide from the jutsu obsessed teenage boy hungry Sannin and he pointed him towards a hiding spot in the dungeons. That wasn't where he was now though. After successfully hiding out in that surprisingly coloured part of the base (and deciding this was definitely where Orochimaru did some of his more questionable 'experiments'), he had been smuggled to his current hiding spot by his most recent, and most obsessive, fangirl Karin. He only realised how narrowly he had escaped when he heard a disturbingly high pitched squeal of frustration and realised the Snake was in the very location he had vacated just moments before.
But still, he couldn't believe he hadn't seen it coming. He had heard of his master's more unusual tendencies from Naruto who had heard it from an extremely drunk Jiraya, who had experienced these horrors first hand. That was probably why the toad sage had turned out with such and understanding of exactly how certain clothes hid things of the female and male bodies, then again, the shameless peeping the man did also likely had something to do with it.
So here he was hiding in a cupboard, hiding from the great Hebi Sannin Orochimaru. And to make things worse, there was a mop poking him in the back and any movements he might make to dislodge it from poking his spine would no doubt alert the deranged psychopath to his current location. So he would just have to... was that a bird? What was a bird doing hundreds of metres underground, in the lair of one of the most feared men in history? More to the point why was it in the cupboard with him and why hadn't he noticed it earlier. Oh, right. It was dead. That's fine he could deal with dead things. Unless it started to smell. Actually it looked pretty recent, probably only a few hours old. Huh.
Then, he heard it, the sound that would be his undoing. The most horrible, unbelievably high pitched and, oddly enough, girly voice; that would subject him to the most unbelievable torture in the world.
"Sasuke I need you in here! I found the most adorable little skirt I need you to try on for when I take over your body. I'll teach you a new jutsu if you come out! Oh if only females had the vast amounts of chakra I need to perform my stolen jutsu"
Sasuke sighed and came out of the cupboard, swallowing his fear of the pink and frilly and slowly making his way to where he could hear Orochimaru's voice calling from. Really, if he had thought about it, he should have seen this coming.
This was written because I think it is very possible that Orochimaru always wanted to be a girl and is obsessed with teen and preteen males. Read and review guys! If you have any suggestions for a humour one-shot or joke that you would like me to parody then let me know and I will do my best to accommodate you.