Disclaimer: I can barely write amatuer stories, I really don't think I could create a whole video game (filled with the bestest characters of all time!) I'll just leave it up to Square to do those kinda things.

A/N: Yay! It's make longest chapter yet! It's still not that long, but heck, it'll do! I know Roxas seems kinda weird (he's a weird kid! I like him like that!) connecting with random things the way he does but I think he's drawn to Axel... so, yeah, he can't help it. Constructive criticism would be great but a review in general would be really nice! I'm new at writing so I really want to get better. There are slight (well, obvious) RikuSora hints thrown in this chapter, so if you don't like, class it as over friendly (really over friendly...)

I would like to dedicate this chapter to my first reviewer, SarieBear, who made me want to update as soon as possible and also gave me the idea of what Axel can be this time... thank you so much! By the by, I gave all my pencils names so I completely understand where you are coming for )

"speech"

'thoughts'

If you have a dream,

don't wait.

Act.

-Axel-

The frigid winter air attacked my core, sending shivers from beak to tail. My vermilion feathers shook violently causing the thin layer of snow, coating me like a wedding cake, to scatter and drop to the ground below. Kids footprints still tattooed the ground where fresh snow had not fallen: the world was covered in white powder, like a Turkish delight.

There was no sign of life anywhere, aside from the ever cocky, Mr Buttercups, who casually strolled over to me, claws sharp and tail swinging confidently from side to side. He quickened, darting up the rotting bark of the tree to settle on the branch that I was currently perched upon.

He swiped.

Unfortunately for him, I had speed and gravity on my side. I swooped, getting a good claw full of tangled pumpkin locks. The ginger cat arched, hissing violently at me as it marched away with what little dignity it had left. That stupid cat was pure entertainment for me till Roxas came home.

Seriously, how long did that kid go to school for? It was already 3'o clock in the fucking afternoon, isn't that long enough? I can only tolerate so much time without my blond haired beauty! If I ever had to go to school, god forbid the day, I would go whenever I bloody wanted! You gotta make your own choices, it's your fate, ya know? I mean, what right to these 'teacher' things have to keep you locked up for 6 hours of your day for the rest of your life. It's ridiculous!

I guess I'm just mad because after all that searching, I find that Roxas isn't even home! Just my luck.

"Dad? Sora? Is there anyone there?"

I heard knocking coming from the front of the house, accompanied by one of the most beautiful sounds in this barren, white covered world. His voice. I was so excited, I flew as fast as I could into what seemed like a living room.

It wasn't.

With a loud thud, I crashed into some clear, repelling device. What's wrong with humans? Why would they build such a thing just to keep me away from my Roxy!? As I slid slowly down the invisible yet cold barrier, I heard two quiet, but very distinctive, sounds.

The first came from Mr Buttercups, who had returned with a smirk on his face. His fur was standing on end, as if he was going to strike. The deep growl of a cat about to have it's prey is not exactly what I would like to hear as I slowly descended to my demise.

The second noise was faint, I could barely make it out over the roar of the hungry cat, but it was defiantly there. Footsteps, quick and heavy, crunching against the new snow, hurrying towards the scene.

"Sora, is that you? I thought I heard a crash."

I saw Roxas turn the corner, probably searching for the owner of the large bang he had just heard. His blue eyes met my green ones and just for a second, time seemed to stand still.

Roxas quickly snapped out of the trance though, quickly snatching the large furry blob, which now had me pinned down with one paw, and turning it to face him. The blob in question, however, just looked at him with big innocent brown eyes. Fortunately, this didn't seem to delude the boy, who was looking at it with disappointment.

"No! Bad cat, bad! Don't you dare hurt innocent birds you fat lump!"

He tapped him on the nose, which the cat positively hated, and put him under one of his skinny little arms. Grabbing the door handle, he opened the barrier with a quick 'swiff' noise and stepped inside, not bothering to close it.

'Hey, Roxas! Where are you going? What about me?'

I tried to stand, but my right wing kept dragging me back down again. I heard a faint noise of someone closing a door, and the scurrying of quick feet on wood flooring.

My head began spinning and my senses seemed to dull. I just couldn't stop thinking about how cold it was getting, the air was practically biting at my body. My whole being was shivering manically from the pain.

I've always preferred the warmth. Always. Fire especially. I like the heat. I mean, there's nothing more exciting to me then wild flames dancing in the moonlight. There just so beautiful, ya know? So free and dangerous. They act like the way I live. In comparison, I kinda like to think that Roxas similar to air, something that adds fuel to the fire. I'd like to be like that with him, completing each other like that. I suppose he makes me feel... alive. Sometimes, I think that he's the only one that can ever really free me. Other times, I know. I know he's the only one.

It may sound corny but he's the only one whose ever made me feel. The only one I would search my whole life for. Wait my whole life for. He's just is, ya know? That's just something I can't help but feel for him.

It absolutely sucks. I know what he is to me.

He doesn't.

He doesn't know anything about me.

He doesn't even know I exist.

That kinda hurts, ya know? The only thing I've ever felt anything for doesn't even know my name. I want him to remember me. I want to scream in his ear 'Remember me, dammit! Remember everything we've been through, our promises, our lives. All of it!'

I want to do all this, but I can't. I cursed with silence. I just want him to know all these rushing thoughts and feelings bouncing around in my head, like bouncy balls on Speed. I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't spew out all these emotions I've kept inside me. It hurts so fucking much!

Even if it's just the once, I want to tell him. I want him to at least remember this life. The one we're living. Together, in some form of another. I'd wait 100 lives over for him.

I know he won't.

Closing my eyes, I let the world around me cave in. That is, until I felt soft, delicate fingers around me, shielding me from the cold air.

"Hey little birdie."

I must be dead cus this feels like heaven. Roxas had me to his chest, so close I could feel his heart gently beating against my ear.

"Sorry about the cat," he continued, carefully wrapping my wing up in bandage, "He can be a bit of a heartless bastard sometimes."

'You don't say...' I thought sarcastically, still unable to tear my gaze away from those baby blue eyes. Even though Roxas keeps growing, his eyes always stay the same. He's still not that tall, poor boy but at least he's evened out quite nicely. How old is he now? 15... something like that. Man, did he turn out to be a hottie, even if he's a bit lacking in the muscular department.

'That's how I like it though...' I thought, a smirk slowly spreading on me small face.

I stopped in my trail of thought, feeling eyes boring into me. Roxas was giving me the oddest look I've ever seen. It was kinda hot.

"You seem really familiar, you know that." he said, giving me a thoughtful look over.

I swear, my heart was beating so fast when he said that, like a thousand tiny butterflies were fluttering madly to the rhythm of Basement Jaxxor something. I don't know why, but that one single statement gave me so much hope.

I pecked his hand lightly, as if to kiss it, which made him smile lightly as he moved his other hand to stroke the top of my head. I sang happily, closing my eyes, memorising his touch. We stayed like that for a while, neither one of us making any move to stop whatever we were doing. Unfortunately, fate just had to intervene.

"Roxas! I'm home! Riku's here too."

I heard a 'Hey Roxas', 'Hey Riku' thrown in there somewhere and then quick, noisy footsteps of two teenagers rushing madly upstairs. I think I felt the floor vibrate a little as those two fell on the floor, or bed, or something like that...

"Those two are so obvious."

I moved to face Roxas again, who was looking up at where the two had just been, a knowing smirk plastered on his face. I cocked my head questioningly at him, he seemed to get the hint.

"Well, they've been in love for years now but I'm pretty sure it's only been recently that they've confessed to each other."

Roxy's hand stopped it's rhythmic stroking and carefully placed me on the arm of the sofa. He tucked his knees to his chest and rested his chin upon them. He seemed to want to say something, so I didn't question what he was doing. Anything Roxy wants to tell me, I'd be more then glad to listen.

"I'm happy for them, I really am! It's just..." he grew silent, eyes averted from my concerned gaze down to the floor. Taking a deep breath in, he came closer to my face. His lips slightly open and quivering, like he was going was to cry. He whispered gently in my ear, his breath ticking my feathers.

"I know you can keep a secret and I need to get something of my chest so... can I trust you to keep this between you and me?"

I slowly nodded my little head up and down, curious to hear the words that Roxas would only share with him. I knew how he felt, keeping things bottled inside. It's not healthy, I know. I've been there. I am there.

"I think I'm going crazy." He shook his head from side to side, eventually nestling it between his hands.

"I keep hearing all these voices. I see this guy. Every time I close my eyes." I think he was crying, I couldn't really tell since his face was covered. Though, the breaks in his sentences had become more frequent, so one can only assume.

Roxas lay there for a while, perfectly still. I sat obediently across from him. Even though I wanted to be by his side, I stayed on that sofa. I dunno, I sensed Roxas wanted his personal space, so I would wait until he was ready to tell me what the hell was up with him. Eventually, he stirred. His head turned to the sie, still not facing me, and whispered so softly, like a fleeting dream. I think he said it more as a statement of self relization, but I still heard it.

"I think I'm falling for a man who doesn't exist."

My heart stopped. Everything around me faulted. In Love? My Roxy? With Who?

This can't be happening. It can't be.

I love him so much.

I've waited thousands of lifetimes just be with him.

I need him.

It's just not fair.

Roxas had obviously noticed my crestfallen face, but for some reason, he continued.

"The only time I'm ever happy is when I'm with him, in my dreams. It's weird, isn't it? I don't know what's wrong with me! I mean, I'm even talking to a bird for Christ sake... no offence."

I wasn't offended. That was the last thing on my mind. I was still angry about this man, this stupid man who had stole my Roxy's heart. Even if he was just a figment of Roxy's imagination, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealously deep within my heart.

Roxas sighed, scrapping me back into his hands again, smiling that beautiful smile down upon me.

"I guess I'm only telling you this because... the only time I've ever felt this feeling, this connection..."

My breathing hitched, my eyes hopeful. Please Roxas. Remember me. Please, goddamit, remember!

"Is with you."

A million different things happened at once. A voice from upstairs cried down at the fast moving creature which, despite it's size, was bounding like a panther towards the living room.

Roxas's father, Cloud, was just opening the door, only to be met with two half naked boys, still holding hands, rushing downstairs towards the cat clad only in Spongebob and Gundam boxers. Both boys stopped dead in their tracks as Cloud practically fainted at the sight of them both.

Distracted, Roxas's turned towards them, unknowing of the evil creature approaching from behind.

It all happened in seconds, really. I knew it was coming though. I knew it was all over when I felt my world go moist and dark. You really can't fight fate with these things. I wasn't too regretful though. I've always lived my life with the philosophy 'If you have a dream, don't wait. Act.'

I've found Roxas over and over again with those words. I'm sure in the future, they would guide me once again to him. Unfortunately, they had landed me in this situation in the first place. I knew it was all over when that stupid, bastard of a cat swallowed me whole.

I knew it would begin again as soon as I opened my eyes again.