Chapter One

Looking at the photograph brought back the pain. My lungs froze, and I was unable to breathe. The inside of my chest constricted as my heart seemed to slow. I wrapped my arms around myself, clutching at my sides in an attempt to disrupt the physical anguish that the memory brought back. I fell to my knees, hard; I was hunched over. My eyes were squeezed shut, but the tears escaped their hold. I could feel my face was contorted into a painful grimace. A single sob escaped my lips. Then another; I was breaking down. I hadn't cried in months; I'd attempted to lock the memory away, but only managed to shove it to the side when it appeared, unbidden, into my thoughts. But the photograph had been too much, I couldn't control it now. One might say the scene played in my mind, but it was more as if I was reliving the worst day of my life. The day I'd lost everything...

"She loves you! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!"

"Dad!"

"What?"

"Stop singing!" I giggled.

The radio was playing an old Beatles tune. My mother was laughing and singing along with my father as he drove us home from the pizzeria. She was still wearing the paper crown they'd given her as they sang 'Happy Birthday.' My ten year old sister Abby was sitting in the back seat with me against the left window. Her short blonde curls bounced as she laughed, her pale green eyes lighting up with excitement and joy. My dad's dark brown eyes squinted as he laughed in his round and encompassing voice. His fine brown hair blowing a little from the warm spring air passing through the opening in his window. He glanced at my mother as we waited at a stop light. Her beautiful face shone, long blonde curls adorned her smiling face and her pale green eyes danced with her light laughter. Little Jacob cooed and I looked down at him in his car seat between Abby and I. He giggled as he saw my smile. His brown eyes smiled up at me. I leaned down and kissed the top of his brown mop. The car began to speed forward and I saw the light had turned green. As we were passing the middle of the intersection I saw steadily brighter headlights to my left. As I unconsciously turned, my eyes passed over my laughing family; my sight finally landed on Abby, her right hand brushing her hair behind her ear just as our SUV was slammed into. My mother screamed.

I was aching all over. The cheap sheets I seemed to be practically strapped under scratched at my skin. I heard a beeping to my left. As I pulled my eyes open I groaned, I slowly turned to the left, instantly regretting it. The white hot bolt of pain that shot through my left arm was nothing compared to the fire that raged around my middle; most, if not all, of my left ribs must have been shattered. I sucked in a scream as hot tears spilled from the pain,burning my cheeks. I pulled back onto my back. At least I knew what the beeping was. A heart monitor. I looked around the room as best I could without moving. Not missing the fact there was a needle in my right arm. I was in a hospital room. Just as I was considering yelling for help a nurse came in. As I looked at her her eyes went wide and she jumped; not without a small, "Oh!" I might add. She quickly ran out of the room, returning with a doctor and another nurse. They examined the equipment I was hooked up to, and once satisfied, finally deigned to talk to me.

"How are you feeling?"

"What happened?"

"Miss Edwards, are you in any pain?"

"Where are my parents!?"

"We need to tell her sooner or later, sir."

"Yes, yes. I know that." He sounded irritated, "Grab her some morphine then will you?"

I was getting nervous. My heart rate increasing; this fact being made obvious to the medical staff by the monitor.

"I have it right here, sir."

"All right, well give it to her then."

I felt a small, sharp pain in my upper right arm. I didn't turn to look,I couldn't take my eyes off the doctor. Something was wrong. My breathing was getting shallow and quick, my forehead damp.

Once they removed the needle, the doctor nodded his thanks to the nurse and turned back to me, his face creased in pain and concern, "You were in an accident."

An accident. It came back like with all the force and pain of a tidal wave. My chest felt like it had just been crushed; my breathing had stopped altogether. The shock of this memory and the pain it brought was only the beginning. I heard my mother's heart-wrenching scream in the deep recesses of my mind.

"Your family didn't make it, honey. I'm so sorry.," he grimaced in obvious sorrow and pity.

"NO!" the sound more of a terrified scream than a word, "NOOO!"

I was sobbing, the pain was getting more intense as it began to sink in. My chest was slowly constricting; it felt as if a semi truck was slowly being laid on top of me. I couldn't breathe, my head was aching. And my strength was ebbing; my vision was tunneling, black around the edges; the morphine was taking effect.

I slammed the photo book on closed on top of the picture of my happy family smiling together on a day at the beach. My right hand left the book's cover and wrapped itself around my left side again. The sobs were painful, and my chest still felt as if a giant hand was attempting to squeeze the life out of me, but I could breathe a little deeper. I crawled into my bed. Curling into the fetal position, facing away from my dark window. Silently sobbing and waiting for sleep to take me.