Title: A Divine Comedy: This Way a Good Soul Never Passes
Author: DC Luder
Rating: M for violence and dramatic elements.
Summary: With the Joker ruling and destroying the universe with Mr. Mxyzptlk's powers, there's one that will suffer the most…
Author's Note: All recognizable characters and events are property of DC Comics not DC Luder. Based on the events seen in Superman: Emperor Joker with numerous quotes and references throughout. I have put all direct quotes in italics and Dante's Inferno nods in the bookend ellipses.
^V^
...New torments and new tormented souls I see around me wherever I move, and howsoever I turn, and wherever I gaze…
I expected oblivion following the flash of light that overwhelmed me. What I hadn't expected was to be sitting at the steps of the Joker's throne alongside a white dog in a red cape, a chimpanzee in a leather jacket and an orange tabby in a cape that matched that of the dog.
Dressed in purple velvet robes and a golden crown, the Joker looked down as he held the hand of a similarly dressed Lois Lane and commanded, "Superman, woof."
The white dog sat at attention and barked.
He hadn't…
I glanced down at myself, staring in disbelief at black furry paws.
Krypto.
Ace…
Still trying to come to terms with my change in form, the Joker stared down at me, debating, "What'll it be, Batsy? Hit and run? Rabies? Animal testing?"
I growled lowly, feeling the hair on my scruff rising to attention.
Luckily, or rather unfortunately, the other…pets caught the Joker's attention. Specifically Superman. Gravedigger Lad, named for him sole purpose in the Joker's world, dropped an elaborately sized fire hydrant on Superman, smiling whilst he declared, "There you go, boss! Superman isn't about to soil your royal pants leg ever again… nosiree…"
The look on the Joker's face was not that of an amused emperor.
"Sorry kid," a grin began to break out on his solemn face, "Try as I might, I just can't find anything funny in beating a dumb animal… and my world is all about good, clean entertainment."
As if it was the next logical step in the world, two enormous Lex-Corp automated combat robots crashed into the throne room, their sights directed at the soon to be former Gravedigger Lad. Thankfully, his cries of anguish were brief as nearly eight tons of robot tore him to pieces. While the Joker applauded the death of his former assistant, he glanced over at me, "Humans are so much more fun to mess with."
I growled again, rising to my feet. It was the closest I had been to the Joker in months and it very well could have been my first and last chance to stop him. Letting my desire to make him suffer supersede the remnants of my self-control, I lunged at him, long, glossy canines ready to slice his flesh and razor sharp claws ready to make gouges in his face. He let me get within in inch of him before stopping me in mid-flight, holding me frozen in the air. Not a single fiber of my body was under my control as he leaned forward and kissed me on my wet nose, patting my brow while saying, "Now now, boy, I know you're excited, but you still have to have manners."
My final conscious thought was seeing the solid gold end of his scepter as he swung it at my head.
I woke in human form, thankfully, but was instantly killed with a broadsword decapitating me.
The next few days were a blur of punishment including being torn apart on the rack, being stabbed while Joker mis-aimed his throws as I spun on a wheel and even dates with the noose and guillotine. Punishment for defying the emperor.
While suffering my own torments, I found them marginally easier to endure knowing I wasn't alone. Superman had broken the Joker's will once, surely he would be able to do so again. I waited day and night for his return, but after a while, I started to wonder if Lois's betrayal had truly defeated him. With a near constant onslaught, I was unable to physically stray far in order to search for him or the others he had managed to gather at his side. No doubt the Joker treated me with special care but it was hard to imagine he was offering them any leniency in their own personal hells.
Where my body could not wander, my mind certainly did.
…But now let us descend to greater woe. Already every star sinks that was rising when I set out, and too long stay is forbidden…
One night, after being pummeled to near death by Venom-strong dwarves, the Joker appeared in all his regal glory. He stared down at me as I lay bloodied and broken at his feet, enjoying the sight all too much.
"Had enough, Batsy?"
Unable to breathe regularly, I forced myself to look up at him, "You… won't… win."
"I won't?" he laughed, "I already have! Look around, Toots!" he gestured to the heavens. without warning, he knelt beside me, "You see, Bats, you're always stuck on how things are done, on how they end. Let me give you a little clue, Detective Deadbeat… This is never going to end."
For just a moment, I saw what true evil really looked like.
And I smiled back.
He frowned briefly before adding, "You know what, I don't think I've had a good night's rest since I began my reign… I can't seem to put my finger on the reason though… It's not Harl, it's not the overwhelming demand of my universal rule… it's not even those dimwit superheroes trying to defy my will…"
The Joker's eyes locked with mine as his grin began to shine once more, "You know what… I think it's your incessant screaming every time I have you killed… It was once music to my ears, I'll admit it. Now… just a broken batty record… But what to do, what to do…" As he hopped to his feet, promptly kicking a narrow toe into my abdomen with the strength of the all-powerful being that he was, "Ah-ha! I've got it! You can't scream out of your pie hole if you don't have a pie hole!"
Although slightly distracted by my injuries, I was still fairly aware of the fact that the flesh of my lips had begun to melt and fuse together. I let out a scream but the Joker had been right, it was considerably quieter now that I didn't have lips.
His laughter echoed infinitely before he began ordering his mime goons to finish me off.
Thankfully, it didn't take much.
When my heart began beating again, I was staked to a cement wall, my mouth still sealed shut. It appeared that I was still in the dungeon the Joker had kept me in since I had been separated from Superman and the others. Weakly, I looked to my right and would have done anything to smile at the sight of a heavily restrained and upside down Kal-El.
I heard him sigh, "Hardly one of world's finest moments, is it?" He then apologized, somehow knowing that I was unable to respond. With despair in his voice, he asked, "How do we stop a psychotic with the powers of a god?"
I took a deep breath through my nose before answering in Morse code, clacking my teeth together as loud and distinctly as possible. He was quick to pick up on my gesture and even commented, "You really are the best, aren't you? The best that ever was… Okay Batman, save the day, tell me what to do."
…Vain thought thou harborest; the undiscerning life that made them foul, to all recognition now makes them dim…
I promised once to protect the innocent.
Clack, click, clack.
I promised to fight on behalf of those who could not defend themselves.
"K," he said aloud.
I promised to bring justice to those who brought fear and pain to others.
Click, click.
I promised to fight a war on crime.
"I."
I promised to never take a life by my own hand.
Click, clack, click, click.
I failed…
"L… KILL HIM? That's your plan?"
Even though he was unable to see me through the lead lined visor on the helmet that encased his head, I glared harshly at him. It was the only way. As long as the Joker lived, others would die. Even before he had become emperor, he had slain countless innocents, all for a good laugh.
Jason.
Barbara.
Gotham.
He hesitated before continuing, "There has to be another way, you must have another idea."
There wasn't.
Was there?
I was suddenly thankful he couldn't see the look of fear that replaced the harsh look I had just thrown at him.
His voice faltered, "What has he done to you?"
Unfortunately, the Joker must have subconsciously been aware of our conversation as he had decided it was an appropriate time for me to die. As I heard the flapping wings and shrieking calls of vultures, I thought that he must have also decided to shake things up a bit since I hadn't been eaten alive in at least a month.
When I woke, I was no longer on the wall.
I found myself sitting on a bluff over looking the a massive valley, filled with green fields and bubbling brooks.
It had to have been a dream... a hallucination...
Try as I might, I couldn't settle the quaking in my limbs, even as I pulled back the cowl as the first rays of sunlight peaked over the horizon.
Light.
Life.
With a view overlooking hundreds of square miles, there was no sign of anything that had been Jokerized. No burning villages, no mass graves... nothing but peace and quiet.
Life.
Had they succeeded where I had failed so many times? Had they found a way to defeat the monster that had defeated me?
I blinked slowly as I inhaled.
Fire. Pain. Blood.
Death.
"Bruce?"
As Superman approached, the tremors in my hands began to take over my body, causing my cape to shake slightly.
"It worked, Bruce… white elephants. Once I planted it into his head, I had him distracted just enough to be able to convince him he was powerless without your existence because he was nothing without you… His supremacy was shattered by it…"
Stuttered breaths began to escape my lips.
"Bruce… it's all right… everything's back to normal… Spectre and Mxyzptlk have undone everything…"
I felt my teeth begin to chatter.
"Bruce? Mxyzptlk is gone… Everything has been restored. We can go home now and… Bruce?" When I didn't respond, he set a hand on my shoulder, "We did the right thing, you know… not killing him."
For the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt something besides pain.
Hatred.
I growled, "I know. It wouldn't have counted. When it happens…"
I pictured Jason's bloody body.
I pictured Jim's face, covered in tears.
And then the Joker's smile.
"…I want it to count. I want it to be real."
Superman took a step back, "Bruce you don't mean that…"
I interrupted him, my voice fierce as I spun around to face him, "Don't tell me what I mean! Don't look at me and think things and… and…"
Whenever I yelled at Superman, a look of fear always flashed in his eyes, even if it was for a fraction of a second.
As he stared at me, his glacial blue eyes showed nothing but concern.
… But here await me, and comfort thy dejected spirit and feed on good hope, for I will not leave thee in the nether world…
The growl in my voice was lost, the words that fell from my lips were that of a terrified child, "I can't close my eyes, Clark, I can't close them because I see it. All of it…" I suddenly fell to my knees, cradling my head in my hands as tears began flowing down my cheeks, "I can't close my eyes… because I see him.. and it… and me.. pieces and parts… can't close…"
As my words gave way to whimpers, I heard the Spectre, "He cannot hear you, Kal-El. He will not hear you. Batman has suffered violation and injustice against his person that no on in history has endured… Each death cry, each horror resonates within him. Dark vibrations… merciless as the Joker's attentions. And they have broken him. The man you know… is lost. Only pain remains."
Superman gently touched my quivering shoulder as sobs began racking my body, "No… he'll rebound. He always does. He's the strongest man I know-."
The Spectre spoke softly with sympathy, "But he is a man, Kal-El, just a man. When strong men are pushed until they break… He will not survive this."
Superman leapt from my side, grabbing the Spectre by his green cloak. He bellowed, "We just put the universe back together for pity's sake, DO SOMETHING!"
I recognized the sudden fear in the Spectre, "I cannot! He has kissed death countless times. He has been to the end of the universe, Kal-El. Such memories cannot simply be taken! They must be excised!" His tone grew softer as they looked upon my trembling form, "And that, I cannot do…unless someone is willing to carry them in his stead."
A moment passed as they watched me. As much as I wanted to rise and forbid them from acting, I could barely keep myself breathing. I tried to speak but my teeth were clamped tightly…
He had sealed my mouth shut.
He had killed me in every way his sick, twisted mind could come up with.
With a smile on his face.
He wanted to fracture my very being.
He succeeded.
Superman sighed before whispering, "I know what you would say if you were listening, Bruce… But it can't end like this, not for you…"
So many nights, so many deaths…
I couldn't let him do this, I had to stop him…
It was my burden to bear…
My promise broken…
"… and especially not because of him. Damn your pain, Bruce, we need you too much. I need you… I'm sorry."
He paused briefly and looked into the rising sun, "Do it."
I failed…
…Without fame, he who spends his time on earth leaves only such a mark upon the world as smoke does on air or foam on water…
^V^