Originally posted on: July 27th, 2008.

Chapter II: Just Like...

When we last left our heroine, she was off to find Ms. Mary, who was taking too long to find the mysterious Mr. Burroughs. Please don't complain to me about how this is in past tense when the story started out in present tense; this used to be in sepia for a reason. Now, let us proceed with the story.

As soon as Jennifer enters the new area, creepy music begins to play. Or am I just hearing things again? Either way, this can't be good. Before she can even get halfway through the hallway, she hears a BGM-interrupting scream from behind her! After talking to herself for a moment she rushes back into the other room only to find that her friends (and that cat bitch) are nowhere to be seen. "Girls...?" she calls out, hoping that even that beast would answer her.

As expected, there's no reply.

"Come on, this isn't funny...!"

Nope.

"Ellipsis."

It's almost as if they weren't there in the first place; the only evidence of any of the girls being in the room are shuffled chairs, Anne's ashes and dazzling rainbow sparkles of purity and goodness. Okay, so it's obvious that the place was occupied only a little while ago, but whatever. Oh yeah, and those dazzling rainbow sparkles of purity and goodness make an easy-to-follow trail that lead to the stairs that Jennifer passed when she entered the mansion.

Having found a lead, our heroine follows the rainbow sparkle road up the stairs and towards other si- make that almost face first in floor debris and pain. Almost. Thankfully she smashed the panic button- I mean was able to grab onto the newly formed ledge before falling to her early demise. That was a close one!

"Just like the Granite Orphanage," Jennifer comments. Well, looks like she'll have to look somewhere else, because unlike everyone else she doesn't have the ability to teleport. Were they giving that power away at a sale or what!?

After passing through the hallway again she finally sees a new room of the mysterious mansion, which is... Another hallway. We're going to be seeing a lot of these, aren't we? Anyway, she continues to walk through the second hallway, ignoring the doors she passes, until she hears... Dripping water? Cue the creepy music!

Curiosity gets the best of our little adventurer, and she opens the door the source of the noise must be behind; it's a bathroom, and a steamy one at that. She walks up to its toilet and checks it. "I don't have to go right now," she says to herself for some reason or another. Okay then, why would she bring that up anyway? Is she worried that some creepy old dude might watch her go to the bathroom? Well, older than she likes them, anyway? Anyway, that dripping sounds like it's coming from behind the shower curtain. She pulls the curtain aside, and then...

"Oh mah gawd! Have you come to watch the godly gorgeous Sara Jessica Alyssa Carrie September Andromeda Leigh Simpson Barrows Burroughs shower? Have I attracted yet another soul with my endless charms? Come and join me, Jennifer! I accept the fact that you want me with open arms. No one can resist my beauty and kindness! Strip naked and talk dirty to me!"

NOW WAIT ONE SECOND. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG HERE. FIRST OFF, WHERE'S-

Before I can rant, Jennifer looks straight at the ground, trying to avoid looking at the ghastly sight in front of her. "Um..."

"It's alright, dear. Go ahead and confess your love to me. You know, I think we can make a marvelous OTP together!" Put a towel or something on, you wench! I think my eyes are about to bleed!

"No, that's not it at all!" Jennifer manages to burst out, still looking at her feet. "I was looking for my friends, Lotte and Rolla. Did you happen to see where they went?"

"Oh, your friends? Why weren't you looking for me, your lover!?" CLOTHES. WEAR THEM. NOW.

"No, no, it's not that I wasn't looking for you! In fact, I was looking for you as well as Rolla and Lotte. It's just that there was a scream, and when I came back you were all gone. I was just wondering if you knew where they went."

"They ran away when one of my adorable little twin brothers came in to play. I don't know why they panicked, he's a very polite little man." I HATE YOU.

"But where are they now?" Jennifer pleads. Finally, the nasty creature was telling her something useful!

"Since they wouldn't calm down, I teleported them and myself to my lovely little room. I left them there because I just had to wash my adorable and petite body. You have no idea how sweaty teleporting can make you! They might still be in there waiting for me to return, but they could have gotten out and could be anywhere in the mansion by now. That's highly unlikely, as I'm just too amazing to resist! Now get in with me my love, the water's getting cold." Bitch.

"Thank you! Now where's your room?" she asks, trying her best to ignore the fact that someone who claimed to be her cousin is now hitting on her. This isn't Japan.

"Don't worry about them, sweetie. It's all about us!"

Oh god.

Oh goooooooooooooooood.

GET OUT OF THERE JENNIFER!!

Then suddenly, as if I was listened to, Jennifer zooms right out of there. Cue the chase music! She takes a left and heads into something other than a hallway for once. In fact, it's a biiiiiig room with lots of space and a nice amount of light. As soon as she enters it, however...

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSHH!!!!

A boy with a heavy pair of blood-soaked scissors breaks through the glass ceiling and lunges towards the floor below! When the glass shards and shears hit the ground, a familiar-looking body joins them. Oh, wait, Anne died in the first chapter. Never mind then, there was no body. Anyway.

Oh no, first the cat cretin and now this monster! A two for one deal that no one sane would buy! How in the name of Norway will Jennifer be able to escape from this massacre in waiting?! We'll find out next time! ... Maybe.