Ways to Annoy the World of Espionage

by True Colours

I know there are too many of these, but I wanted to try my hand at it. Let us now gather to laugh at those responsible for the security of the nation or destruction of same .

1. Chapter 1: Alex

Ways to Annoy Alex Rider and Other Inhabitants of the World of Espionage

#1: Alex Rider

Disclaimer: I am not the creator of any characters involved. This applies to all subsequent chapters.

Hum 'The Escape' at appropriate times.

Yell 'You mean jelly' whenever he uses the word jam. Can be applied to a variety of situations.

Start a wall entitled 'Alex Rider: Great Escapes.' Pump him for information on all his dramatic chases and paint them on the wall.

Buy him a shirt that reads: 'I may be paranoid. That's why I'm still alive.'

When blackmailing him into missions, first attempt to persuade him by other means:

'You can have a thousand pounds! A thousand pounds and a pony. You'd like a pony, wouldn't you?' etc.

Refer to him as 'Mr Covert Action over there.'

Say you have organised a mentor to discuss his problems. With a flourish, produce either Wolf or Yassen Gregorovich.

When he comes in the door, say 'What's wrong with the window?'

However, when he uses the window, enquire as to what is wrong with the door.

Whenever he warns you of risks, respond: 'Darling neurotic Alex!'

A/N: Sorry if that lacked inspiration. It's Sabina I really want to do.