Disclaimer: I don't think Dick wolf would EVER higher me as a script writer! Sooo, no ... I have no rights or claims to L&OCI or National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and the character of Clark Griswold.

This story follows my series which began with The IQ Test but it follows You, Me and Baby G Makes Three, It's a Wonderful Goren Life and Black Friday: A Bobby and Lewis Story.

Summary: Bobby watches National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and turns into Clark Griswold.

Was going to be a one shot but I'm thinking the boys may get into a bit of trouble in chapter two ... hmmm?

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Who's Clark Griswold?

It's a well known fact that when you're a night owl, you're a night owl. People with multiples will tell you that your life will change in so many ways but when you're a night owl like Robert Goren … you remain a night owl. Most of his life, night time somnolence was a rare and sometimes unwelcome guest … he was plagued by nightmares and the inability to shut down … no … even triplets couldn't change his sleep patterns. This particular night, Alex was well into lala land, still taking her pain meds due to her broken ankle, when Bobby started channel surfing. He was never one to watch TV but Alex was. He preferred reading in bed … and other things, she preferred a sitcom or a cop show … just to make fun of their crime fighting techniques. This time of year, the TV was flooded with Christmas specials and Christmas movies … he came across National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. He was slightly intrigued with the decorations on the house … the tree, the lights. He started to watch the movie to get ideas for his own home, after all, this was the first Christmas in years that he didn't want to hide under a tree as opposed to putting one up.

He watched the movie from beginning to end with amusement. He stifled his laughter throughout the 97 minutes running time of the movie, only stopping to breath during commercials. Alex and her TV addiction was rubbing off on him … he loved this movie and also found out something important about himself … Robert Goren loved to laugh. Not only that but the spirit of Christmas was also rubbing off on him. Every year, Eames tried to drag him to her folks house for the big Christmas Eve events … every year he would decline and spend it at Carmel Ridge … some were good … some were bad. This year was going to be very good. Like Clark, Bobby was going to enlist the help of, yes, you guessed it, Lewis and Logan, to decorate the Goren homestead for The First Annual Lighting of The Goren Home For Christmas 2008 … he would come up with a better name. Twenty five thousand lights was his goal, just like Clark Griswold. He couldn't wait for the morning light to hit so he could start making calls. He would call Liz to come and take care of Alex and the babies and then Lewis and Logan to hit Home Depot for supplies. It was promising to be a good day. He finally fell asleep. He dreamt of sugarplums dancing in his head. He really had the Christmas spirit bad.

When morning light shown through the windows and the first of the Goren three let out the first cry of the day, Bobby sprang into action. He ran downstairs to warm their formula and then back upstairs to change and feed them. Alex was still resting comfortably when he presented her with her first cup of coffee.

"Hey, what time is it, are the babies up yet?"

"It's six. They've been changed and fed. Trace and John fell back to sleep and Hales is still looking around."

"What time did you get up?"

"I don't know … five thirty or so."

"Oh. Can you bring Haley in … if she's still awake?"

Bobby brought Haley in and they put her down on the bed in between them. She was looking all around and "talking" happy to be with her Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad were happy too.

"She really does look like you."

"I think she has your nose."

"No way, she has that cute little Goren nose. It's so perfect." Alex runs her finger down Bobby's nose. He wiggles it at Haley … she smiles at her Daddy.

"Oh my God Alex! Did you see that? She smiled at me!"

"That's not a surprised to me Goren … you do have a way with the ladies." Alex starts to laugh.

"There are only three ladies that matter to me!" He leans over and kisses his wife tenderly.

His mind is still on twenty five thousand lights, Alex had other things on her mind and asked him to put Haley back in her crib. He never came back to bed. He knows that both Logan and Lewis are up this early. Lewis would be busy at the shop but Logan, who retired early in the year and got back together with Barek … he would be free. He went back downstairs and called Logan.

"Mike? It's Goren … I need your help."

"What did you do now? Are you keeping international secrets from Alex and the NYPD this time, genius boy."

"No, no, nothing like that. I want to put lights on my house … you know Christmas lights but I want to surprise Alex."

"Bobby?"

"What?"

"No, I mean … Bobby as in Detective Robert aka Scrooge Goren? Is this really you?"

"Hey come on Logan. I'm a husband and father now. I believe!"

"In Santa?"

"Yup."

"No really, who are you and what did you do to Goren?"

"Mike, are you in or not?"

"Oh what the hell … I'm in."

They made arrangements to meet at Home Depot at 9. Now he just needed Liz, a ladder and twenty five thousand lights! He called Lewis just in case he wanted in on the fun.

"I'll tell you what Bobby G. I'll give you a couple hours if you can track down a VIN number for me. A guy is trying to sell me a 1970 shadow gray Chevelle SS. It seems shady to me but the car is mint … I mean M-I-N-T. I want it but I need to know if it's hot or not."

"You got it."

The players are in line except the key player … Liz.

"Hey Liz, it's Bobby …ah … your Brother-In-Law. Could you call me. I need another favor … okay … ah … bye."

Alex manages to make her way down to the kitchen, she sees Bobby sitting there scratching his head. What the hell is he up to now? I bet he's keeping some international secret from me … he has been acting weird this morning … not unusual but … OH MY GOD … My husbands a spy! She is on pain killers.

"BOBBY!" He jumped a foot out of his seat.

"Alex what are doing down here? You could have hurt yourself."

"Bobby, are you a spy for the Government?"

Bobby starts to laugh. He picks up the "patient packet insert" from her pain meds and starts to read the side effects.

"Honey, maybe you should sit."

She sits down preparing herself for the worst. He grabs her leg and rests her broken ankle on his thigh.

"Give it to me straight. I don't know when you've had time to get mixed up in something with Thanksgiving, going to the Doctors, not to mention the triplets and then me breaking my ankle but with you, if there's a will there's a way."

"I'm not up to something, Alex. Well, I am but It's a surprise … a fun surprise."

"For me?"

"Yes, for you. He leans over and kisses her. No more secrets and no more of these pills. Hallucinations are one of the side effects … I've had to deal with one woman in my life having those, I don't need another one. Me … a spy? Now that's funny." He gets up from the kitchen table and gently lifts her leg from his thigh and places it back down on the chair that he had just occupied. The phone rings … it's Liz.

"Hi Bobby, my … Brother-In-Law. What's up?"

"Hey can you come over … I need to go out and meet Mike at 9 … if that's alright?"

"I'll be there."

"Great, thanks."

"Honey, why are you meeting Logan?"

"He has this new spy gig that he needs help with. He starts cracking up … Alex doesn't think he's very funny. I told you, it's a surprise … for you. He's just helping me with it."

Nine O'clock rolls around and all three men meet at Home Depot. Bobby is still new to the home ownership thing so he needs a ladder as well as the lights. Mike talks him into buying two, he'll supervise while Bobby and Lewis string the lights. As they walk in, Bobby's eye's lit up like twenty five thousand lights. He couldn't believe what he saw. Huge blow up devises for the lawn, Charlie Brown and Snoopy, Santa and the Reindeer, a winter wonderland scene and a carousel … all filled with air. He didn't know that such things existed but why would he? He wanted them all … he wanted to out do Clark Griswold … without the fires and mayhem of course. It was a good thing that Logan and Lewis was there with him … they were the voices of reason. It must have been a full moon. He wouldn't compromise on the twenty five thousand lights, in fact, he upped the ante to thirty thousand.

They brought their loot home and began to work on the house. Alex had gone back upstairs to be close to the triplets and Liz remained downstairs watching her soaps. The ladders hit the house with enough force to alert the sisters that the men were back. Liz looked outside and started to chuckle. Why did they wait so long to get together … this man loves my sister and his babies! He's so different … he's … he's happy!

She hears Alex calling from the top of the stairs … calling but quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping babies.

"Liz … Liz … what's happening?"

She climbs the stairs and whispers … "Was Bobby up late last night?"

"Yeah, probably. He never sleeps … why?"

"Does he watch TV?"

"I thought I heard him laughing last night now that you mention it."

"I hate to tell you this Alex but well … maybe you should come see for yourself."

Alex hobbles over to the window and sees the sea of lights laid out on her front lawn and the inflatable Santa, Thomas the Tank Engine and the Carousel that Bobby chose for the front lawn display. She covered her mouth and looked over at Liz.

"Alex, I'd like for you to meet your husband, Clark Griswold!"

"Oh fuck, he's gonna blow up the house!"

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Up next: Logan supervises, Bobby and Lewis string some lights ... a good time is had by all ...NOT! Thanks for reading ... let me know what you think?????????