First bite

I woke in the hospital after being unconscious for three days. Roxie was asleep in the chair beside my bed. Her hand lay gently on top of mine, and I couldn't help but smile. It was just like her to stay through the night. I went to stretch my cramped muscles and she stirred. "Morning beauty." My voice was barely a whisper, but I admit, this was my own paranoia of someone else being across the room. Roxie rubbed her gorgeous eyes and smiled at me.

"You're awake…" She was still drowsy. I nodded and went to take her hand again. The slight movement in my arm rippled up through to my shoulder and I yelped in pain. Fear struck across her face as my hand jumped to my left shoulder. No blood, no but there was a bandage, that covered my shoulder and part of my neck and arm.

The bandage was dark red, and it stung to move my arm. I remember being attacked and being bitten. That was it. As for what attacked me I wouldn't have any idea until three nights later when the full moon hung in the July sky.

Of course it didn't take me long to figure out what had happened. Simply put, I was a monster. If you really need anymore clarifying than that then press the little 'X' button in the top right, now. For the rest of you who follow along, yes I was a monster.

Each and every full moon led to more pain, but more discovery. I began to learn what I could do and what I couldn't. My limits and boundaries.

Then the day came when I couldn't hide from her anymore. I hadn't seen her in months trying to protect her. But this wasn't working for either of us. I had to tell her, but of course there was no way she'd believe me… so I decided to show her. I admit, this was an idea better left in a locked box under the bed, but I didn't realize at the time.

In my animalistic state I padded up to where she said to meet me. I was relying heavily on her love of animals. She didn't disappoint though, the second she saw me her face lit up and she ushered me to come closer. What could I do but listen? Padding up to her softly, I dipped my nose, her blue eyes watched me and already I think she could tell this was no ordinary dog.

Letting out a short whine I let myself fall back into my human state. She watched with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. I still didn't move even when I was finished transforming. Holding still waiting for her reaction, which was the very last thing I expected. She was giggling. My face twisted in confusion and she explained.

"Are you… naked?" She asked in uproarious laughter. For a few moments more I didn't move in shock.

"What?" I finally found the sense to ask. It was actually a pain to wear clothes as a wolf, so I was already very aware that I had nothing on. "You just watched me morph from a dog to a human and that's all you have to say?"

She didn't respond for a while because she was laughing too hard. After the first five minutes or so it became rather annoying. Finally though, she caught her breath and looked at me seriously. "If that's what you are… That's what you are..." Roxie said softly as if it were a fact of life.

I honestly didn't know how to react to that. I was mentally and, as ashamed as I am to admit it, physically prepared for any possible way I thought she might react. Never did I imagine that. She bent down and hugged me, a very awkward hug might I add as well considering my clothes-less situation.

"Maybe you should go get some pants on now…" She released me and held back a giggle. In response I playfully growled at her. And this, was the start of many a happy months, plus a never-ending line of dog puns but that was manageable. Yes, they were happy days… It wasn't until my 16th birthday that everything fell apart.

On May 19 I became 16. Immediately I saw the difference in myself. I was faster, stronger, and smarter, as the days wore into June however I became hostile and uncontrollable as well. Roxie did some research for me and it was apparently just a form of 'wolf puberty' if only that was relief.

The transformations only became more painful, the anger only got worse, the uneasiness, everything felt like death in a waking state. Roxie refused to leave me regardless of how unstable I was. I still haven't the slightest idea why, but she didn't and finally she decided she just being there wasn't enough. She felt if she shared my pain it would become easier to bear.

Do not ask where exactly this logic made sense, because I have no idea. She begged me for it, to share my curse with her. It didn't take long before I became uncontrollably angry. Didn't she realize what she was doing? To both herself and me?

A small note: To anyone who knows little about werewolves, we feed on anger. Soon my anger took all control completely, which looking back, I think is what she was aiming for, and instinct took over.

The next few moments of my life I have tried, numerous times to forget, to block from my memory. Try as I may though, everything is as crystalline clear as if it had just happened. Everything is still in vivid detail in my mind. The way her soft porcelain of her shoulder broke under my teeth. The crack as I almost broke the bone. The way she went rigid in pain after I bit down. Most of all I cannot forget, the one thing that to this day sends gut wrenching tremors through me, the rich sweet taste of her blood.

It gushed into my mouth, and the very sweetness of it drove me on. Sugar could not compare to its sweetness and the richest man alive was poor compared to it. As I write it makes my mouth water, but it fills me with such a hatred for myself. Please, understand that this truly was the very last thing I ever wanted to do. As I stated before I regret it still… but I must confess there was a twisted part of me, somewhere in me that I revisit only in my nightmares now, I enjoyed it.

It was sweet, it was rich, and it was strong. The sweetness made me crave it. Its own power made it almost too much to take in. I regained my senses as I attempted to stop, I couldn't. She was screaming now, I was hurting her, but I couldn't stop. With amazing strength she pushed me off of her, though her screaming did not stop. I laid in the grass in half a daze, my mouth dripping of her exquisite crimson blood. My own strength fading as I began to lose consciousness all together.

I woke, hours later. My body ached as I attempted to pull myself to consciousness. For a moment, my mind was blurry. I couldn't remember a thing, but as I opened my eyes, it all came back with the astounding clarity I remember it as today. The fight, the anger, the bite, the blood, the taste, and finally I forced myself to sit up. The crimson of her blood was dried to my lips and chin and made an almost black stain on the front of my shirt.

For awhile I just stared at myself. I was covered in it. All over my hands and up my arms was crimson. I could feel it dried onto my neck and around my mouth. I was so amazed the amount of blood I was covered in that I didn't realize it at first. I was alone. My head snapped up immediately and almost frantically I searched for her. There was more blood on the grass… God, why was there so much of it? And the soil was torn, numerous slash marks in the earth. It didn't take much imagination to see where they could've come from.

The pain of fear burned in my veins as I desperately searched for her. And finally it hit me, like a mac truck doing 110 on the highway. The blood on my shirt, her blood, and the gashes mixed with the crimson earth. Roxie obviously couldn't handle the strength of a wolf. Some humans couldn't. Which, in short means, I killed Roxanne.