Naruto is extremely unlikely to ever be owned by me. Or anyone else besides Masahi Kishimoto
Pairings: KonanPein
Diary of the Unknown
Konana sighed. It was an extremely awful day. For once, it was hot. And another thing, the men decided to have a man off. Yeah, all 9 guys were not bathing. For a week. It was all Kisame and Hidan's fault. They just HAD to have a bet that they didn't smell bad. TRhen the rest of the guys got in on it.
Dear Diary,
THE FUCKIN' ASSHOLES ARE HOLDING A RETARDED MAN OFF!! Pein, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi, Deidara, Sasori and Zetsu are not bathing for a week. And trust me, they smeel like shit! SCREW THEM!! Gotta go, I can smell Kisame from a mile away. The only advantage is, that i can smell them., Oh, and sadly, I'm forced to be the judge. I, Konana, in sane mind give all my belongings to Pein. And tell him that I've loved him all my life. That is my last will. Also, tell Itachi to stop being such a bitch, tel Kisame to not smell like fish guts, Hidamn that he is a bastard, Tobi to be quiet, Deidara that he looks like a GIRLY girl, and Sasori that he should stop playng with dolls. Oh, and Zetsu is creepy.
"Yo, Konan, judging Time!" Kisame called, and Konan sighed.
"If I live." She muttered, and stepped out into the living room.
"Here are the rules." Konan said, and sighed.
"Each of you will come at me until I tell you to stop. The one who gets the closest is the winner. The one who's the farthest is the loser. In the event of a tie, both guys will spar for 15 minutes, and I'll rejudge. Got It? Oh, and If I live, which I slightly doubt, You are all taking a shower for a looong time. and promise me, no more MAN OFFS!" Konana explainbed, and sat down.
"Lety the torture begin. Sasori, Tobi, Deidara, Kisame, Zetsu, Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi, Pein, please go in the order."
Sasori walked first. He only made it halfway to Konan before she gagged.
Tobi ran in, and only made it 1 foot from where he was standing.
Deidara made it the farthest out of the 2 before him. He was about 10 feet from Konan.
Kisame made it 2 feet farther then Tobi.
Zetsu got about 15 feet from Konan.
Hidan, well, he got about 6 feet from Konan. But, he was disquallified for cheating, which resulted in a lot of swearing, and a tranquilizing gun being pulled on him.
Kakuzu made it 19 feet from Konan, and she had to yell at him that there was no money involved when he asked for the prize for his place.
Itachi made it the 2 closest to Konan. She sighed, and said that it was in his Uchiha genes to smell good.
Pein was the winner, as always. He didn't smell too bad, and all the guys objected.
"KONAN, YOU FUCKIN' LOVE LEADER-SAMA!! NOT FAIR!" Yelled Sasori, pissed off.
"Oh, Shut up." Itachi muttered, and glared at Pein and Konan."Hn. Uchiha's don't get 2nd place." he grumbled, walking to his room.
"WAHH! TOBI SMELL LIKE POOPOO!" Tobi cried, and Deidara hit him over thje head.
"I can't believe you let love get in the way, unn." He said annoyed, and walked off.
"..." Zetsu just rolled his eyes, and walked off.
"I DEMAND MONEY!" came Kakuzu, and Konan threw a yen at his head.
"Here, money." She said.
"Whatever." Kisame said, and walked away.
"Soooo." Pein said, looking at Konan, who yawned.
"Don't continue that thought until you take a shower. A long one too." She said, and walked to her room.
My first Akatsuki fic. Sorry if I didn't get the characters portrayed correctly. Just let me know so I can improve, and yes, they are all alive. Especially Deidara, whom is awesome!