Title: Sense Of Depth
Author: Lauand
Beta: purpleicicles
Paring: Gojyo/Hakkai
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Hakkai has no depth perception.
A/N: Written for the Saiyuki_time LJ comm. Once again, thank you very much to purpleicicles for the beta-reading.
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In truth, Hakkai was not prone to regret. Not for his own decisions. If he had to choose again, he wouldn''t be willing or, rather, able to change or rectify any of his actions. The only things he would give anything and everything to alter were the ones in which he hadn''t had any say.
But sometimes, he wondered if it had been such a good idea to pluck his own eye out. He still understood and accepted his own reasons, but it was in moments like these that he missed the sense of depth a second eye would have provided.
Because, that way, he could know for sure how far (or how near) Gojyo''s skin really was, how dangerous was for him to get closer, to risk making contact and waking the man up.
It was in the lazy, late summer afternoons, when Gojyo would nap on the sofa and the golden light of the already low sun would enter through the window and fall on him, that Hakkai would feel inevitably drawn to the lying man and, always careful not to block the light to Gojyo''s face, he would reach out as if to touch that tempting body.
Hakkai never made contact, though; he would just take his own shadow as a fathom, a reference to know how close he was really getting to that tanned skin, to that warm, warm man.
With time, it became the objective instead of the tool. Hakkai wouldn''t try to judge by the shadow the distance to the sleeping body, he would just want to watch the projection of his hand caress the gently heaving chest, to brush the defined nipples, to palm the hard, subtly muscled abdomen.
When he was feeling especially bold, Hakkai's hand would move lower and its shadow would fall on the little hairs under Gojyo''s navel, and from there it would glide lower still until it rested ethereally, weightless, between Gojyo''s legs. Hakkai would breathe faster then, swallowing noisily and licking his lips, deciding to move higher again before he lost his self-control.
On other occasions, Hakkai would risk casting a shadow on Gojyo''s cheek, tracing first one scar, then the other, carefully avoiding the eyelids so that Gojyo wouldn''t awake. After the cheek, he would follow with his shade the outline of Gojyo''s mouth, eyes fixed on the wavering the relief of Gojyo''s lips caused in the shadow.
After that strange ritual of not touching that substituted feel with shadow, Hakkai would silently walk away from Gojyo and occupy himself in some house chore or another until it was time to start dinner.
And it was then that Gojyo would wonder how come that Hakkai didn''t find it strange that Gojyo didn''t stir even once during his naps.
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