Pein -vs- Orochimoro
"Take one more step, snake, and you will surely die." The auburn haired girl snapped.
"Oh, come on, Pein, I had to carry you all the way here…remember," the snake smiled, "Darling?"
Pein bared her teeth, "Don't call me that, bastard!"
And with that being said, the young female changed subjects. "Why the fuck are the roses on our house pink?!?"
The snake slithered over to his wife. "Do you remember that dream you had…the one with the princess?"
Pein's eyes spiraled out, showing her trademark. "How the hell do you know about that?!? Did you watch me sleep?!?!"
"Get rid of those eyes…" Orochimoro snapped, dodging the questions.
Pein stood, even more ticked now that she put two and two together. "Oh, hell no!"
The snake smiled, then pushed Pein back against a wall. "Something wrong? You seem to be blushing…"
An explosion, and a groan later, Orochimoro was on the ground. "Stay away from me, rapist!!!"
"Rapist or not…your stuck with me, wifey." The snake pointed out, smirking as he wiped the blood away from his mouth.
Pein glared at the snake. Then spun on her heel, and rushed out of the house.
The snake got to his feet (well…you don't hear that every day) and ran after the girl. (Apparently Pein, in this story is fairly young…so don't bug me…) Orochimoro virtually tore the entire yard apart looking for his lost 'love'. The snake dashed away from the house. He called out for his partner, saying her name over and over. Until, that is, Gaara walked out and slapped him.
"Will you shut up?! It is 12:30 at night!" Gaara hissed
The snake was about to snap at the sand freak, but then a question came to his mind. "Why don't you have a shirt on?"
Gaara's face flushed, "No reason…so why are you out here?"
"Pein ran away…she really can be a pain." (No pun intended…or…never mind…)
"Already? Wow…that was quick…but, if I were you, I would check the pond that turned him into a girl." Gaara muttered before he turned around and went back into his house.
Orochimoro ran to the pond, and, just as Gaara predicted, Pein was there. Pein was kneeling at the pond's edge. Orochimoro slowly walked over to her. "Pein?"
A low growl sounded in the direction of Pein, "What do you want, snake?"
"I have come to take you home." The snake stated.
Pein stood, but didn't turn to look at the snake. Orochimoro was the last person she wanted to hear, let alone see. Orochimoro stepped closer to Pein, he wanted to hold the person in front of him, but he didn't want her to beat him, shun him, then run away…………again. (Oh oh oh!! Foreshadowing!!!)
Finally, an evil thought came to Pein mind. She gracefully (Yes…now Pein is graceful…leave me alone….) turned to face the snake. Her bottom lip was trembling, and she had the cutest pout Orochimoro had ever seen.
"So you want me back?" Pein murmured, closing the space that was left between the couple.
Orochimoro swallowed the lump in his throat. "Of course…" The snake's voice cracked, his eyes wondered over Pein's body.
Pein suddenly snuggled against him, "Really?"
Orochimoro heard the edge in Pein's voice, "Uhh…yes…" The snake was trapped, and he knew it… so he took the final step, and wrapped his arms around Pein. And as soon as he did, he could almost feel Pein smirk against him.
"Shit!" The snake hissed as a kunai sunk into his right arm. Orochimoro looked down at Pein.
POOF! Suddenly the girl in the snake's arms disappeared. "Stupid shadow clone!"
The snake looked around, where was the real Pein? Where had she gone to? And how did he not see through the shadow clone?
"Maybe you didn't see through it, because…you didn't want to…idiot." Pein's voice murmured from behind him.
The snake spun around. "Are you going to come back or not?!" Orochimoro snapped.
"Heh, poor snake…" Pein smirked as he turned to leave.
The snake suddenly grabbed the girl by the shoulders, forcing her to stay put and look at him. "Listen. To. Me. Bitch!" The snake snapped shaking Pein viciously for every word he said.
"F-fine…What do you want?" Pein slightly stuttered. Her eyes showing an emotion the snake never saw before…fear (NOO!! PEIN HANG IN THERE!! Oh wait…I'm writing…sorry for the outburst…)
The snake sighed, and finally let Pein go. She immediately fell to the ground. Orochimoro knelt down beside her. "Hey, Pein, you okay?"
Pein suddenly started laughing, "Did you seriously fall for that!! Heh! You're even stupider than I thought!!"
"Grr…I'm wasn't scared for you, or worried about you (keep telling yourself that, Oro…) …I was shocked about the thing behind you." Orochimoro hissed.
"Yeah right!!" Pein laughed, that is, until she felt a warm breath on her ear. She yelped and spun around, and found herself face to face…with Jiraiya. "Oh gods no!!"
"Hey there," The frog hermit smiled.
The snake smiled, "Well…now you have to choose…me or him"
Pein shot a glare over at the snake. "Neither!" She spat as she got to her feet and ran off.
"God! When is she going to stop doing that?!?" The snake yelled.
Jiraiya turned towards the snake, "Oh, so she doesn't like you…interesting…"
"Stay away from her!!" The snake demanded.
"Heh, she's not yours…plus she'd make a great addition to my novels." And with that said…the frog hermit ran off after Pein.
"Oh dear god!" Orochimoro knew what Jiraiya was planning on doing. "He's going to rape her!!"
Pein ran as fast as she could, never once slowing down. She had no idea where she was going, but she didn't want to stop to look around. But, like all people, Pein's body eventually ran out of energy. She looked around, she was in a dark forest, and to her right there was a cave built from the rocks it was in. (Duh…) Slowly, Pein wandered over to the cave. Just then she heard footsteps coming from the direction of the magical pond.
"Crap!" Pein cried, and bolted into the cave. Unaware of the perverted bandits that hid in that very cave.
"Well, well…what do we have here? A stray wanderer?" A man with a red headband smiled.
"Crap, again!" Pein exclaimed as she turned to leave. But it was too late. The Bandits already stood in her way.
"Boss, I think we should keep this one, it's been awhile since we got to play." A tall ninja smirked.
Pein's eyes suddenly spiraled out, the six-ways eyes showing. "Oh, hell no!!" (Readers hold onto your seats…this is going to be exciting!!)
Just then the Boss ran up to Pein and hit her in the stomach with a hand that had glowing fingertips. Pein's chakra was completely blocked. (…never mind…)
Suddenly, a new figure appeared at the mouth of the cave. "Crap, for the third time!!"
"Come on, young woman, allow me to research you." The frog hermit smiled.
All the bandits looked over at the new figure, "Y-you're Jiraiya!!" The Boss cried, suddenly all of the bandits were talking, praising the new comer.
"You're amazing!"
"We love your writing!"
"We're your biggest fans!"
"Why did you come here?"
Jiraiya looked over at Pein, "I'm here for that girl, I want her to be my next research project."
The color drained from Pein's face as all the people turned to stare at her.
One command was suddenly heard, "Hold her down!!"
Pein tried to get away from the on coming perverts but fate was against her. (Heh…sounds like Neji.) And soon she found herself held down by all of the ninjas.
(Now let us look into Pein's mind…
Boyish and Girlish parts of Pein: Fuck, fuck, fuck…dear gods! Save me!!)
(That was predictable…)
"Get the hell away from me!! Ahh!! Rape!! Some one help!!!" Pein screamed, right before one of the bandits gagged her.
"You know…it won't be too bad if you don't struggle," Jiraiya smirked.
That comment was only replied to by even more screams from Pein, even with the gag on. (Have you ever noticed that Pein is a wuss? Seriously…he doesn't fight…he sicks his minions on people…yeah "Fear me! I am Pein, I have never lost a battle because a throw some other person in when a challenge comes my way! Now we will fight! Are you ready? Go…Itachi!") (So leader-like)
Suddenly, another shadow fell on Pein. Her eyes went to the cave entrance, and there, looking very ticked, was Orochimoro. "Get the hell away from my wife!"
All the bandits raced towards Orochimoro, only to be brutally beaten down by snakes. (How original) As soon as all the bandits were gone, the snakes went after the only porn novelist left. Blood coated the ground as Orochimoro walked over to Pein, who tore off her gag. "Get the hell away from me you fucking rapist! I don't like snakes! I fucking despise you! I loath your fucking being!!!"
Orochimoro tenderly picked up Pein, and she immediately went limp. "Are you done?" The snake murmured.
"Yeah, I'm good."
Orochimoro sighed, then began the fairly long trip back home…
Yet To Come: Heh...that was fun
Itachi: Yeah we took making fun of Pein to a whole new level.
Pein: Don't you both work for me??
Itachi: no comment...
Yet To Come: She works for me...
Pein: Wait...she?!?
Itachi: I'm not your Itachi! I'm another Itachi!
Pein: Yet To Come...
Yet To Come: what?
Pein: I hate you
Yet To Come: I know