I was going to make a part 2 for the last chapter but most of my reviews said to move on faster so I'm gong to try that.
YOU HAVE TO READ THE SONGS IN THIS CHAPTER!THEY HAVE A HUGE IMAPACT LATER ON AND YOU WON'T GET IT IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THEM!
"Alex, sweetie, it's time to go." Stacey wasn't expecting Alex to answer and assumed that she was on her way so she decided to head out to the car. After about five minutes Alex still wan't there so Stacey got up, went back into the house and called Alex again. No answer.
Expected, right?
Something still didn't feel right to Stacey. She started to walk towards Alex's door. She paused in front of it and knocked, "Alex, honey. I know you're no talking to me but you promised to come to the lake and I'm leaving right now." Stacey stood still for a second to see if she could hear Alex getting up. It was silent. Stacey began to worry and pound on the locked door trying to get it open. She was screaming Alex's name trying as hard as she could to get the door open. She ran to the kitchen as fast as she could and grabbed a knife to pry open the door. She was right in front of it and was about to pry it open when it opened on itself. Alex brushed past her mom, her headphones in her ears blaring so that Stacey could hear it perfectly. She was going to yell at Alex for scaring her, but then decided she probably just couldn't hear her and there was no point in yelling because Alex wouldn't listen or say anything back.
"Mom, I know I said I wouldn't talk to you but weren't we supposed to leave like twenty minutes ago. And what the held did you do to my door?"
"Whatch your language young lady. And I tried to open the door because you locked it and didn't come out when I was screaming in it. Which also explains why we're running late."
"You still didn't have to reck it."
Stacey rolled here eyes, "Just get in the car."
As soon as Alex was in the car she put in an old CD. She knew if she played some of the songs her mom might listen and realize what Alex was going through with herself and her dad right now. "I love this song." Alex said, she really didn't but she knew it would get her mother to listen to it better. She was always trying to find a way to relate to Alex.
It was silent the entire song.
Uh, uh, some deep shit, uh, uh
Momma please stop cryin, I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed
I told God you didn't mean those nasty things you
said
You fight about money, bout me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, you'll see
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done
my family
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave
Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop cryin, cuz I need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says
its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love
you, too
I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have
no choice, no way
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my
family
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes
naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays
I don't want two addresses
I don't want a step-brother anyways
And I don't want my mom to have to change her
last name
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do
anything)
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
Let's play pretend act and like it comes so
naturally
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave)
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave)
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Turn around please
Remember that the night you left you took my
shining star?
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Don't leave us here alone
Mom will be nicer
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
Stacey stayed quiet choking back the tears from listening to the song. No word needed to be said. Stacey knew exactly what Alex was trying to do, and as much as it hurt her she appreciated Alex's effort to show her. Alex searched through the songs until she found another she wanted her mom to listen to.
Don't Let Me Get MeNever win first place, I don't support the team
I can't take direction, and my socks are never
clean
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me
I was always in a fight cuz I can't do nothin'
right
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else, yeah
LA told me, ";You'll be a pop star,
All you have to change is everything you are.";
Tired of being compared to damn Britney Spears
She's so pretty, that just ain't me
Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe me
somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Cuz I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe me
somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Don't let me get me
I'm a hazard to my self
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I dont want to be somebody else, but me
Stacey was crying now but she knew she couldn't show Alex she had to stay strong. She was about to tell her to turn it off but when she opened her mouth nothing came out.
Alex saw a tear fall from her eye and instantly felt bad about what she was doing, and after a while she got over it as she searched for one last song on the CD.
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep
them
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
I know you'll keep them, and this is what I've
done
I've been a bad, bad girl for so long
I don't know how to change what went wrong
Daddy's little girl when he went away
What did it teach me? That love leaves
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep
them
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
I know you'll keep them, and this is what I've
done
I've been down every road you could go
I made some bad choices as you know
Seems I have the whole world cradled in my hands
But its just like me not to understand
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep
them
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
I've been a bad, bad girl
I learned my lessons
I turned myself around
I've got a guardian angel tattooed on my shoulder
She's been watching over me
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep
them
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
I've been a bad, bad girl
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep
them
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
I've been a bad, bad girl
I've been a bad, bad girl
"Alex, look I-"
"It's okay mom. You don't have to say anything. I'm sorry."
"But-"
"I told you mom, it's fine."
I wonder if Marissa would hate me for what I did.
Alex, you're mom is crying here and all you can think about is how some girl you only knew for like a week like 4 years ago is doing.
Mom, mom, think mom.
You care about mom.
You probably don't even know Marissa anymore.
She probably doesn't even remember you.
What am I saying probably of course she doesn't.
"Jimmy said Marissa still remembers you," Stacey whispered as if reading Alex's mind.
"So? Why should I care?" Alex shot back. Stacey smiled sweetly knowing how Alex really felt to know about this.
She probably just said she did so she wouldn't disapoint her dad.
Alex was frustrated with this and decided to change the subject, "So my whole not talking thing didn't last as long as expected, huh?"
"Maybe as long as you expected, Alex."
Alex thought for a second and just asked a simple question but had no idea the meaning to her mother, "Why do you call me, Alex? I mean you always used to call me Alexandra no matter what I said."
Stacey took a deep breathe and spoke, "You're father named you that. I always called you Alexandra because he said Alex was not a proper young ladie's name. I was trying to make him happy."
"Then why did he call me Alex?"
"It-, it really doesn't matter."
"I know it does, and I won't be mad at you I promise. Just tell me."
Stacey pulled the car of to the side of the road and stared straight into Alex's eyes as a tear ran down her cheek, "He, he said you weren't a proper lady." Alex wasn't very offended yet, she knew her father thought that, hell sher thought that too. "He also said that you, you weren't his kid and that you weren't special enough to be blessed with the name he picked."
"And you agreed with him and stopped calling me Alexandra because of that." Alex was furious and was trying to hide her temper.
"I call you Alex no because that's what I want to call you and as far as I knew it is what you always wanted me to call you. I am only trying to make you happy." Stacey thought for a minute, "And besides, you're to good for a name picked by your father."
"Don't call me Alex anymore." Alex turned away coldly as the words left her mouth she immediately regretted them. Stacey sighed and drove off.