I thought I saw Lily look over at my face for a little bit. I think I saw some sort of blunt hope stretch across her face before being quickly extinguished. Gosh, she was beautiful. Her long red hair flowing down her back and sometimes flitting into her face from a slight breeze. She had those perfect almond shaped emerald green eyes. The most enchanting and hypnotizing eyes God ever made. They narrowed slightly for a moment as she glanced at me through her curtain of hair. I was completely and wholly hers. All I had to do was convince her of the same of me.
Sirius was right. I do sound like a girl when I talk about Evans.
Finally she answered me after a few more moments of silent contemplations with her typical and cute sarcasm. I had taught her well. You couldn't grow up with me at your side 24/7 9 months a year for seven years and not learn to retaliate sarcastically. "Sitting."
I gave a little chuckle. She could be quite charming when she was spouting off insults. "I gathered that, Evans." How I longed to call her Lily, but I really didn't want a slap in the face. You'd think that after seven years of this close proximity we'd at least be on a first name basis, but we weren't. She seemed to find me an egotistical brat. "But I was wondering why you were here by yourself, on a weekend, with no one else?" She wasn't usually one to sit by herself- surrounded by Alice or Emily or, in the past years, Snape.
This time, Lily looked past her curtain of hair up at me. Our gazes locked, and I lost myself in them. She could have asked anything of me, and I would have obliged completely willingly. I was hers. Those eyes held me transfixed. I could see all the little freckles on her nose.
"Well, why shouldn't I?" I noticed as she tore her eyes away from my gaze that she shook her head a little and her voice became a little colder. I gave the crooked smile, the one I knew she loved because she blushed a little every time I sent it her way. There it was…
"Well, aren't we feeling sassy today?" I took a chance and branched out. She seemed to appreciate my comments a little more, didn't reprimand me as much for saying them. We didn't get into as many fights. "You could be spending the day with me, you know?" I said with a sly smile. I watched as the corners of her mouth curved up slightly.
Had she been about to laugh at something I had said? I felt my stomach squeeze and butterflies erupt again.
"Only in your dreams, Potter. If I spend the day with you, it'd be the apocalypse." She responded with an eye roll and another glare through her curtain of hair.
Did she really think that lowly of me? I had known her since she was eleven. I knew everything she liked and disliked. I knew what time she liked to go to bed, wake up in the morning, to eat for breakfast. I knew all her little habits when she was nervous, and I could when she was excited by the way her eyes lit up. Surely she realized to some extent that I cared for her. That I would never allow anything to happen to her ever.
Now was the time to come right out and say it. I had to get my feelings out there. She had to know.
"You know what?" I spoke softly with my eyes downcast, and I noticed her twist her head a little so that she could see me better. "I think the real reason is that you're scared to spend time along with me. " I had to take this slow.
She gave a sarcastic laugh and winced inwardly. She didn't get it. I would die for her, not to sound melodramatic. But I got up in the morning to see her face, and she was the last thing I saw before I went to sleep. There was another clap of thunder that rumbled across the grounds. "And what exactly am I scared of, Potter?" She was challenging me.
Should I say it? I wondered as I stared down at her. I wanted to, needed to perhaps because I knew it was true. Everyone told me it was true. Sirius, Remus, and Peter said she found it so difficult to go back on all those things she had said, the feelings she had professed for so long. To go back on them now… Alice said she was in denial, and it was only after I mentioned this to the other Marauders that I realized that that meant she had feelings as well, she just couldn't admit to them.
After some more of my silence, I noticed her looking up at me. Softly, I noticed her breath catch, and watched as her hand contracted clenched and unclenched. She looked down as well. Without realizing what I was doing, I had the sudden urge to touch her palm. It was like I couldn't control my hand. It came off from its resting place on my knee and lightly skimmed over her upturned palm. The touch was electric. A spark shot up my arm and continued through the rest of my body. A pleasant tingling. I noticed when her eyelids fluttered slightly at my touch. She enjoyed it. Perhaps what I was going to say would be easy then. Her hand was so smooth to the touch, the pale satin I'd always imagined. I ran my fingertips up her own long fingers and played with them tenderly, trying to convey my feelings with my touch.
I watched her face as a blush began to creep up her neck and onto her face. She had leaned her head back against the tree in contentment. I lightly trailed my fingers down her fingers again and began tracing patterns onto her palms.
She looked absolutely gorgeous. Her red hair curled close to her face, framing it perfectly, green eyes full of that gentleness and thoughtfulness that is Lily. I had to say it. Now.
I opened my mouth to begin. "You're scared…" and trailed off. This was hard. I didn't want her getting mad at me. We'd been doing so well this year after six long years of arguing and fights and bantering and hexing. I was nervous, so I habitually looked into her face to find that courage and strength that I had always pulled from looking at her. I looked down again, afraid to watch her eyes as I said the next words but continued to play with her fingers, her touch giving me strength. "You're scared that you'll end up falling in love with me like I already have with you."
There, I said it.
I admitted to Lily Evans that I loved her.
Okay, sorry for all this mess. Like I said, when I was editing I couldn't find my curser and all these spaces won't go away.
Anways! Please review if you liked it or even if you didn't I'd love to hear from you.
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