"Kill me. I deserve it. I killed her." Edward looked pleadingly up at Jacob who had stopped shaking as soon as those words ripped themselves from his mouth. He sent his thought out to Edward. It was easier than speaking. You didn't kill her. You loved her, and did what you could to protect her. That said, you should have left her to me. I wont kill you. You'll have to live with this forever.
Edward was suddenly angry. Picking Jacob up by his shirt, Edward held him off the ground "I said it's my fault!" Edward roared. "I broke the treaty to change her! I killed her! The punishment for that was death! I said kill me…because I don't deserve to live without her…I can't…" what had started as a ferocious roar, and quieted into a broken sob at the end. Venom-tears ran down his face as he set Jacob down and fell to his knees. Bowing his head, he knelt there, feeling an emptiness in himself that he had never felt before, not even when he left her. At that moment he knew his mind had just shattered with the weight of his regret and guilt.
Looking around him he saw his family. Carlisle, who looking helpless. He had been able to do nothing to help. Alice who could not see what Bella's fate was, because Any decision we made did not change her condition. Rosalie, who had put Bella's head in her lap and was stroking her hair. Emmett who was so upset that he was pacing a hole in the floor. Esme, stood stoke still in the corner looking like a forlorn statue. And finally Jasper, who felt just as guilty as the rest, but was struggling to remain quiet as our emotions pressed down on him as well. He refused to leave, as did the wolves. Jacob, Sam, Quil, the whole pack was there. Standing on the other side of the room remaining respectfully quiet the entire time they had been there.
Suddenly he tried desperately to read Bella's mind. Surely the state she's in now would leave her mind unprotected…He could feel something, but it was too far away. Taking an unnecessary breath he put one hand on either side of her head and concentrated. In a split second he had a memory playing over and over in his head.
The only person she was thinking about, the only memory she was thinking of, was of her and Jacob. Together. Jacob had her pushed against the wall and was kissing her hard as though he would never stop. She had her hands in his hair kissing him with everything she had, gasping in surprise as he kissed his way down her neck and then back up to her lips.
Suddenly Bella's voice rang out in his head. "Run forever," it whispered. Harsher than he had ever heard it, angrier than he knew she could be. "Run away and never come back! It's the least you can do after stealing my life this way! What would I possibly see in you, a monster, when I could have him!"
That was all it took and he was running. He ran so fast he couldn't see what he was passing. The colors blurred and he stopped thinking. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Suddenly he stopped. He looked at his surrounding…a desert. That's what this place is called he told himself. How did I get here? Where was I? Who was I?