PART 2
Saturday afternoon rolled around too quickly for the two members of the BAU that were not looking forward to being set up with Emily's idea of the perfect mate.
"JJ" Lauren sighed, "If you didn't want to go out with us tonight you should have just asked Mr. Aaron I'm-so-sexy Hotchner out like I told you to."
"He's not interested, I've told you that a thousand times. Besides, I heard that he was kind of seeing someone." JJ answered, sliding on a pair of dark wash jeans.
"No, not those jeans--try the boot cut ones." Lauren instructed as she applied her make up, "What do you think of this purple eyeshadow?"
"No, you look like a stripper, try that brown one that we bought this morning at the mall."
"So who gave you your inside scoop into the dating life and times of Aaron Hotchner?" Lauren asked, carefully removing the heinous purple eyeshadow. "Derek hasn't said anything about Hotch dating anyone."
"Maybe that's because you spend all your time together doing something that doesn't require talking?" JJ suggested, a knowing smirk on her face. "Besides, it was Janice down in Cyber Crime that told me. She said that she saw him having dinner with a dark haired woman a few weeks ago."
"I want to see the flowy red shirt on you, the one with the sequins on it--it reminds me of that trip we took to Mexico way back when." Lauren informed, applying small bits of brown eyeshadow, "And you know Janice has a reputation to stretch the truth a little--maybe it was his sister or something."
"He doesn't have a sister" JJ answered, pulling on the desired red top, "Well, what do you think?"
"I love it! And don't forget that you promised to let me fix your hair, your not going with it board straight like you always do." Lauren reminded, plugging in the rollers and setting them on the vanity to warm up, "So it wasn't his sister, that doesn't mean it's his fiancee or something--could just be a friend."
"Right, like you and Morgan are friends." JJ scoffed, "Now hurry and have your way with my hair, we only have half an hour before we have to leave."
JJ loved her friend from the academy, but sometimes her lack of time management was infuriating. Thirty minutes later, JJ was ready to go, while Lauren seemed to be puttering around JJ's apartment.
"Can we just get this over with?" JJ asked, sighing.
"Jayje, your going to love this guy, why are you so nervous?"
"Wait, you've met him too?" JJ asked in shock.
"Scott Jacobson, in some branch of the military--what's not to like? I don't have to know him." Lauren smiled excitedly.
"Right, who cares if he's completely boring or if he talks about his ex-lovers during the whole date." JJ said sarcastically, "C'mon, we better leave now or will be late."
Finally making it back to his still almost completely unfurnished and completely spacious apartment, Hotch peeled of his running clothes and jumped in the shower. This group date idea was stressing him out in more ways that one, and even his three mile jog and scalding hot shower didn't seem to relieve any tension.
Quickly sliding on his previously laid out gray polo shirt and khaki's he headed out the door with twenty minutes to spare. This is going to be a long night.
The team minus JJ, Hotch, Lauren, and Morgan sat on the steps leading up to the new Smithsonian Museum of Crime and Punishment.
"Okay, devious plotters, my hunk of burning love said he, JJ, and Lauren are on their way." Garcia announced at the text message.
"Perfect, otherwise she would have been early and messed everything up." Emily smiled that her plan was coming to fruition.
"Em, honey, are you sure JJ didn't suspect something?" Rossi asked.
"No, luckily we thought of an entire profile for 'Scott' so we could give her details, otherwise we might have tipped her off."
"Honey, I know that it's possible that JJ would ask questions, but did we really have to decide where he went to high school?" Rossi teased. At the conception of Emily's plan, the group had sat down and put together an explanation of a guy that JJ would at least be semiinterested in. All of them knew that Hotch would never agree to a blind date unless he was helping out a friend, so his end of the matchmaking was easily thought of.
"Don't mock, sir, when Jayje asked me to triple check this guy's background, I was able to tell her his childhood friend was named Billy, so I think the intense planning paid off." Garcia countered.
"Garcia, I'm dating one of your best friends--I think it'd be okay if you call me Dave, don't you?"
"Sorry, sir, but you've seen my boyfriend naked. And no matter how good he looks, I don't know that I can ever call you Dave, sir." Garcia said as Kevin's face ignited.
"So, Jayje, are you ready to meet 'Scott'?" Morgan asked hopefully to the silent blonde in the backseat.
"Oh, could you just pretend like you're not enjoying this so much? I was hoping I wouldn't be able to find a sitter and have to cancel at the last minute, but fate is not on my side."
"Obviously." Lauren said, smirking. "It's on my side, and I say you need a man."
"Well my lovelies, we're here so I guess it's now or never." Morgan announced, pulling his jeep into one of the spaces in the large parking lot.
"Oh great, we're here. Don't forget you guys owe me BIG when he turns out just like all the other ones." JJ added, climbing out of the car, and making her way towards the front of the museum with Morgan and Lauren. "Maybe my phone will go off and it'll be the sitter saying she needs to go home early."
"Speaking of phones." Lauren said, surpressing a devious grin, "did you get a new one?"
"No." JJ replied questioningly, she pulled her phone out to show her friend, "it's the same one I've always had."
In her confusion, Lauren seized the opportunity and snatched the potential date ruining device. "Ha!" She said in triumph, "now you don't get it back until you give this guy a shot."
"Have I ever told you I hate you." JJ grumbled, her escape plan foiled.
"Everyday. Now c'mon, we're going to be late." Lauren smiled happily.
"Whose fault is that?" JJ muttered as she followed the couple.
"Hotch, thanks for coming." Rossi welcomed as Hotch approached the group before Morgan and the other women had arrived.
"I'm not so sure this is a good idea." Hotch stated.
"It'll be fine." Emily assured him, "She's one of my good friends and I think you're really going to like her."
"Probably about as much as I like stubbing my toe." Hotch retorted quickly.
"Where did you park?" Emily asked, initiating the next phase of the plan.
"Over, there, why?"
"They're closing down the street tomorrow morning." Rossi explained, neglecting to mention that the reason for the closure was a phone call from one of his well placed connections. They had determined where Hotch was likely to park and planned accordingly. Besides, he didn't want to be around when they explained to Hotch and JJ what was going on. "Give me your keys, I'll move the car for you." He jogged towards the car, unwilling to take too long and incur Emily's wrath.
"Hey guys, I have to go to the bathroom really quick. I'll meet you over there in just a second." JJ informed, hoping they would buy it and she could just catch a cab home.
"We'll wait on you, JJ." Morgan nodded, acting oblivious to JJ's little plan.
"No, I don't want to you guys to have to wait on me. Seriously, I'll be right there." JJ added, taking off in a hurry towards the nearest outdoor restroom.
"Well that was suspicious. JJ hates using public bathrooms, she's a complete germaphobe." Lauren mused. "Good thing we'll be waiting by the door when she comes out, wouldn't want her to have to go without using some hand sanitizer."
"That would be a disaster!" Morgan spoke up sarcastically. "Besides, we wouldn't want her to get lost."
"No, we certainly wouldn't." Lauren agreed.
Hotch was stuck. He knew it. There was no way out. Dave had taken his keys to move his car, and although it wasn't yet time to start the date, he was beginning to panic.
He always prided himself on his stoic resolve, but right now, he was ready to sprint home by himself.
"Don't even think about it Mr. Boss Man," Garcia warned in a whisper. She had seen the way his eyes were darting around nervously and stepped in quickly.
JJ entered the bathroom and felt as though she was going to heave at the breeding ground for bacteria. If I wait about three minutes, I should be able to get out of here unseen. She thought to herself. She knew it was childish and downright rude to stand someone up--especially in front of all of her friends, but she was having serious doubts about this date and Emily's match-making skills.
Having waited the requisite time, she knew that Lauren and Morgan would likely be in each other's arms and this would be the perfect time for escape. Walking quietly out of the public restroom, and cursing the fact that Lauren had insisted she not bring her purse, JJ could only hope that she could find someone with a large bottle of hand sanitizer as she made her getaway.
She smiled to herself as she approached the corner of the public restroom, knowing that the large building would give her cover. Home Free.
"Hey, Jayje, where you headed?" Lauren smiled as JJ rounded the corner, causing the latter to nearly jump out of her skin.
"Oh, um...nowhere?" JJ cringed.
"Yeah, likely story. Here. Now, let's go." Lauren instructed, handing JJ a bottle of sanitizer.
"Thanks, now that you've saved me from dying of staph infection, I'll be able to die of some obscure virus my date will suddenly have--my luck it'll be Avian Bird Flu." JJ retorted sarcastically, rubbing the cleansing sanitizer all over her hands and arms.
"Well at least Henry will still have his cool Aunt Lauren to take care of him after your unfortunate death." Lauren countered, "Now quit your complaining and lets go--I really want to see the serial killer part of the exhibit, Derek told me Hotch, Rossi, and Gideon are mentioned on one of the displays about profiling."
"Great. Like I don't get enough of that every day." JJ scoffed.
As Lauren and Morgan dragged JJ behind them, the others waited patiently. Hotch was becoming nauseated at how affectionate the two couples were. In the ten minutes he had been there, he'd seen Garcia grab Kevin's butt twice. He wasn't complaining yet, that would start if he saw Rossi slip Emily the tongue. But standing there awkwardly, he remembered what he hated about dating. He abhorred the incessant need couples had to grope each other in public. He knew that he and Hailey must've been like that--everyone seemed to be, but he didn't remember them being that bad. He couldn't recall touching her like that in the presence of others. Ever.
That's when he saw them. Morgan and JJ's friend pulling the blonde liaison up the steps. He could see that the other woman was whispering things to JJ through clenched teeth--presumbably death threats. That was when it hit him; there was no one else with them. As JJ, Morgan, and Lauren reached the group. He saw the same realization dawn onto JJ.
"Hey guys!" Emily exclaimed happily. "Dave went to go park Hotch's car and Reid and Austin should be here any minute." She smiled tentatively, unsure of how she'd get through the next part. "Uh...Reid and Austin are bringing JJ's date and Hotch's should be on her way." Emily said, beginning the well planned out performance.
He watched as Emily's phone began to ring. She answered it ostentatiously. "Oh, so your not going to be able to come. That bites." Emily was a terrible actress, JJ couldn't help but roll her eyes. In her heart of hearts, she knew how this was going to end. She was going on a date with her boss. She gave Hotch a knowing look, to which he just nodded and laughed. "Looks like my friend Lisa isn't going to be able to come." Emily apologized to Hotch.
That was apparently Garcia's cue, "Oh, I just got a text from Reid." She smiled as she read it. "Oh my, Scott isn't going to be able to come either." By this time JJ was actually laughing, did her friends not know that she was onto them? "Hmmm. Well, that settles it. The date will go along as planned except JJ and Hotch will be together. Oh look! There's Rossi. Let's go talk to him." Garcia said, pulling Kevin down the steps.
Morgan, Lauren, and Emily followed, smiles betraying their intentions. "Jayje, Hotch, you should stay here and wait for Reid and Austin." Emily said.
As soon as the others were out of earshot, Hotch shook his head and turned to JJ. "So, I'd say we've been set up."
JJ nodded in agreement. "While I'd love to say that our colleagues would never try to deceive me, I'd say that they were conspiring against us." JJ laughed as a thought struck her. "How'd they get Lauren in on it? The girl hasn't kept a secret from anyone in years."
"For what its worth, I think we'll have fun. At least we already know each other." Hotch pointed out. It wasn't hard to see the silver lining of the cloud when the cloud didn't hold any rain. As much as he hated to admit it, he would've given anything to have a chance with JJ. And now, it looked like he might.
"True, we won't have to bother lying to each other." JJ smiled. "So should we do inside? I heard from a very reliable source that you, my friend, are featured on the display about profiling."
"Well then by all means" Hotch began, holding the door to the museum open for JJ to go in first, "after you."