Alright... I haven't got any idea why I wrote this. I was bored today while we were (my family and I were) "redesigning" my bedroom. I've been playing around with the thought of "What would I do if..." D. Gray-Man type ideas lately. Why? I Dunno. So, everything eventually just got wrapped up into this... Which will probably just be discontinued later when I get sick of it, so don't get your hopes up.
Any of the "OC" characters you come across are not exactly my original characters because they're ALL based on real people, that I know, and... Well, that makes them very not Original. See?
And, to those of you who surely will not enjoy this and only want to read it so they can say it sucks, I warn you now. Good. I'm proud of my sucking for this story. That means it's giving me something to do, and I won't hurt anybody's feelings by killing it off later. ^_^
To those of you who do enjoy my insane idea... Good for You... I think.
I don't own D. Gray-Man... or most of the people/things mentioned at various points in this series that will most likely die later. Thank you.
A flock of cantankerous blackbirds squabbled noisily out on the grass; picking out one another's feathers in a raging war for the last few pieces of stale bread from the previous day's feeding. Their yelling and loud chirping stirred many of their neighbors from sleep, drawing them into bad moods. But, they were unwilling to stop for simple things like disturbing the peace. They were too preoccupied in a tournament of the ages, a trophy of wheat for the strongest warrior.
A leather boot went flying out of the window and nailed one of the little black loudspeakers right in the face. "Shut the fuck up you damn stupid bird!!" The window was pulled down hard, and the befuddled birds were suddenly silent.
"Wark?" One blackbird squawked.
The window opened ominously and a pair of squinted blue-green eyes leered down into the soul of the frightened animal. Its black eyes reflected the face of a teenage girl, whose expression was such a mix of wrath and grogginess that it was unmistakably in a horrid temper that morning.
The flock swooped off as soon as they gathered sense enough to do so, hiding up in the trees until the chill had dissipated. The window slammed shut with an echoing "bang".
"Stupid fucking birds," the human female cursed, throwing on her blue sweatshirt and sauntering out of her room, out into a small hallways, and then swinging around to the opening on the left, into the living room and another path. The TV was already on and trying to sell her the latest in Toilet-Cleaning Technology. She rolled her eyes at it and continued on for five steps or so, then making another left turn. The Dining Room, and Kitchen too, as they were attached, was empty. Well, perhaps not empty, as there seemed to be a couple of delighted little customers buzzing around the girl's head and loudly protesting the fly tape somebody had nailed up in the neighboring Laundry Room.
Down stair, as there was only one stair in the house instead of a multitude of them, another battle was being fought. With lasers blasting and bombs exploding in mid-air, the sudden gust of video-game exposure caused the girl's eye lids to fly back as completely as they could. And, as suddenly as it began, it stopped with a big red screen that read "PAUSE" covering up the action. A little blonde boy swiveled around in his chair and looked at his older sister lethargically.
"Oh. Hey Abby. 'Sup?"
"Meh," she grumbled outwardly. "I'm going to go feed the horses."
"OK, whatever." He switched his game back on and blew up about five cars at once.
The girl pulled on some rubbed boots and staggered out the door and into the garage. Their mother's dark green Jeep Wrangler had long taken off for work, as had their father's Jeep Cherokee. The ground was still soaked and cold from the melt of the snow. The wind tried to push her back inside, bitter with protest. But the shrieking whinnies of the hungry horses came before the cold. She stomped several long, chilly yards out to the hay barn and cut open a new bail with a handy pocket knife. The straw was quick to fall out of formation, and the girl hauled three decently sized flakes out of the barn and tossed it into the pen. But, before she went to make the second trip to get hay, she noticed something wasn't quite right with the horses. Namely, that they weren't there.
The horses were always in one of two places come breakfast. They were either impatiently staring from next to the gate, where the food always ended up. Or, they were at the Round Pen, which was closest to the house and the easiest spot to yell at forgetful humans for meals.
They were not in either of those places that day. They were off at the back end of the fence, staring at the woods. There wasn't anything back there, save a few birds and a broken fort. At least, that was what the girl had always believed. Sure enough for her interest, however, something was moving around in the brush. If she listened close, she could even hear voices, some laughing, most not.
"Oh hell no," she breathed as she stomped past the barn, forgetting completely about the hay. She followed a little path back to a large, round fire-pit of stone. From the safety of the benches, she could get a better look back into the dark forest.
There were definitely people back there. They milled around, seeming quite lost and yet self-satisfaction shined in their voices.
"Well, it's not exactly what I had in mind, but it should work wonderfully!"
"Um... Komui-sama... I don't think the owners of that house will be too happy about this."
"Hm? Well, I don't see how they could possibly object! I'm sure they're just as neighborly as anybody else in the world. Besides, people in such a quaint, charming neighborhood like this should be delighted to be in the presence of us! After all, we are part of the army~."
"No offense, but I doubt that Komui. If that old lady's dog was any indication, this isn't a friendly place."
"Shut up, both of you!" A third voice, and a very grouchy one at that, echoed to the girl's ears. "Do you hear that?"
"... Hear what?"
"There's somebody else out here."
The girl's heart fell back into her stomach and threatened to quit its job and move to Florida. With no hesitation, she reached over and grabbed hold of the sharp flame-poker that had made its way out to the pit for the summer bon fires. It wasn't the sharpest instrument in the area, but it would just have to do. The female crouched down behind the pile of junk wood, scheduled to be lit and burned away the following weekend, and waited quietly, still eavesdropping on the trespassers.
"Hm, really? Well, this is an excellent opportunity to meet the new neighbor, right? Come on!"
"Komui-sama, I really don't think—" But the boy's words were in vain. The excited man was already bounding the path and towards the fire pit. The other two were not too eager to see what was going on, but they complied to some degree.
The footsteps grew closer and closer, and then a twig suddenly snapped just a yard or so from the teen girl's hiding place. She bit her tongue to keep from yelping.
"Halloo! Anybody out there? Hm, I think maybe it was just a bird, Kanda. But, as long as—"
WHABAM!!
The metal fire-prodder flew up and nailed the unwelcome guest right on the chin, sending him sprawling on the ground. The girl launched her self out of the hiding place and held up the makeshift weapon with lack of confidence conveyed in her loose stance. She gripped the fire poker like it was a savior, like it could protect her from any harm. The man she'd just hit, who appeared to be Chinese, was out cold on the ground.
The other two looked shocked, and not the least bit happy. The shorter guy, who had white hair and a pink scar set over his left eye, seemed frightened and taken aback more than anything else. His arm, the left one, shifted around uneasily. His companion, however, didn't seem as afraid as he just seemed to be pissed off. He was probably Japanese, and his long hair was a net for pine needle and maple leaves. And, more frightening still, was what he held. In his hands, wielded expertly, was a katana.
The girl choked some words out of her throat. "Wh-WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE?!" Though she was clearly trying very hard to seem brave and strong, she was shaking like a leaf.
The taller boy made a "tsk" sort of noise and scowled. "You might want to move before you get hurt, kid."
She gulped and narrowed her eyes. "Get out of here!"
The one with a less violent temper threw his hands in front of him and tried to reason with the girl before she did something really rash. "Relax, okay? We're not here to hurt anybody."
"Oh, like hell you aren't," she spat, still string at the gleam on the other boy's weapon, reflecting in his eyes. "Get off of this property, now!"
"We really can't do that—"
"Oh yes you can! The lot of you had better scram before I call the police!"
The man by her feet groaned and sat up. He shook his head and tried to relieve the headache to no avail. A moment late, the sharp end of the girl's weapon was pressed against his neck. Not that it was sharp; it was almost as dull as a spoon. Nobody else needed to know that, however. "Geh! A—"
"GET LOST!!" The other two no longer seemed directly willing to advance. "All of you get lost!!"
"Excuse me," the hostage spoke softly. "We didn't mean to frighten you. Please can we just talk about this for a minute?"
"HELL NO! There's nothing to talk about! Go away!!"
"... I can't get away if you're going to murder me the second I get up."
She scowled and leered at the other two. The girl's captive made signal for the other boys to settle down, and the Japanese sheathed his blade. The tension level dropped tremendously for her, but rose uncomfortably for the other three. "Alright fine... What the fuck are you people doing on my property?!"
"Well, we sort of... crashed here," the white-haired boy said as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"... Like... A car crash?"
"... Car?"
The girl felt her lips opening with annoyance and confusion. "Yes. Car. The things you drive...? Motor vehicle...?" Nothing seemed to jog his memory. "Those big-ass metal things whipping down the road, dumbass!"
"... Is that what those are called?"
The Chinese man shrugged and the Japanese boy rolled his eyes.
"Okay~..." She stared at them for another moment. "Let's try this again. Why are you here?"
"We were trying to get somewhere else, you see," the prisoner explained. "The Ark was on its way to London, but it failed and now we're here, in your yard, ma'am."
"... You came here... in a boat?"
The boys all shook their heads. Both sides seemed to be having serious issues with communication. "No see... hang on. Do you have any idea what an Akuma is?"
"... Um... Should I?" Her lips parted again, and her eyebrows drew closer to her nose when she tried to concentrate on the situation.
"Well, no not really. But you see—" The girl didn't hear the rest. She was too busy watching his hands. He was holding a syringe. Without warning, he stabbed it back and tried to hit her in the leg. She gasped a little bit as he pushed in the liquid.
But, when the man tried to escape, he found the fire-poker was more than willing to stay its place and even draw closer. "Wha—"
The girl kicked him in the back and he moaned in pain, though she was surely being gentle about it. "Moron! I liked those pants!" Sure enough, the needle had just gotten stuck somewhere in the jeans and the liquid uselessly dripped down her leg. "Attempted murder!!" she shouted before the fire poker tightened its grip on the captive.
"No! I was only trying to get you to settle down! I-I swear!"
"Drugging an adolescent?! That's even worse, you fucking swine! God knows what you'd have done after I was out!"
"Hey, kid," the swordsman shouted. "Let him go already! I don't have times to play around with dumb shit like this."
"Kanda! Don't make her angry! There's no telling what she might do to Komui!"
"Stay out of this Moyashi. You're not any help."
"Hey! I don't see you doing anything useful either, Bakanda!"
"Fuck off, Baka Moyashi!"
The girl rolled her eyes. "I never thought it was possible. Not until now."
"Hm? Thought what was possible?"
"I've finally met three real-life villains that really wouldn't be competent enough to beat the Power Ranges."
The man raised an eye brow. "What are these, 'Power Rangers'? They sound like a fairly strong bunch."
"... Oh yeah, definitely not worthy."
"Wait... Are you suggesting that we're criminals? Oh no, no! That's where you have it all wrong, my friend! We're here to stop the bad guys!"
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Yeah, like I'd believe that."
"No, it's true! I swear! Please, let me have a chance to prove it?"
"It's not going to happen."
The other two boys had been fighting their own war all the while, and it seemed to have gotten just slightly out of hand. Unpredictably, they had started to pull one another's hair, and it sounded quite painful. "OW! Fucking bastard! Let go!"
"Not until you let go of me, Bakanda! OUCH!"
The not-so-heavily armed girl sighed and kicked the one called Komui a little before taking away her weapon and freeing him. "Just go away," she whined with disdain.
But before the teen was able to go and finish her chore, a hand was slapped over her mouth and dragged her backwards. She attempted to scream for help, but all sound was lost in the fingers of the attacker.