Author's Ramble: I should be updating the stuff you guys actually want to read, but alas, I'm not. This was something completely random I wrote about two weeks ago and editted today. It's very dark, agnsty, whatever. Like I said, something I wrote two weeks ago and have no idea why. Take what you will from it.

Inspiration: "Today is my birthday . . ."

Disclaimer: -insert witty disclaimer here-

"God, you're such a sick fuck."

It wasn't like he didn't know what was behind the door when he opened it. He was fifteen, after all.

"You're a crazy bitch, so I guess it all works out, huh?"

It was just that he'd heard them from down the hall, and he didn't like it when his sister did this when it was still light outside and people could hear her in the motel's crumby outdoor walkway. Plus, he'd heard a swear word like she was in pain. He was fifteen; he knew people could hurt themselves doing what his sister was doing.

"Yeah… oh. Right there. Right— WHAT THE FUCK ROXAS?"

It wasn't as bad as it usually was. Larxene was sitting with her legs on either side of this guy sitting in her bed. She still had her skirt and tall socks on, and her shirt was only askew, showing that her bra was still on, just unhooked and ready to go off in a moment. The guy's pants were undone, and his shirt ridding up a bit. It looked like he was just catching the end of the foreplay (yes he knew what that meant, he was fifteen, right?).

"S-sorry."

"What the hell do you mean sorry?"

"Larxene, relax."

The guy cut in, just before Larxene was about to stand up hit him across the face like she usually did when he messed up her job. He hadn't done it since he was ten, but he still has the nice little scar on his upper lip from his last baby tooth ripping it open as it fell out from the force of Larxene's punch. After that, he decided it was better to just check on her afterwards.

But today was a bit different. It was still bright outside, and he'd seen the guy walk up the steps to their motel room. His hair was so red; it looked like a fire engine. The guy didn't look like the kind who usually came up to their two-bedroom motel room. He didn't have a beard, or wrinkles, or nothing. He didn't wear a ring either.

He remembered this guy with the fire engine hair. Remembered his name was Axel. Remembered they had been friends, even though he was a lot older than him.

Right then—with his sister on top of that guy in her dirty bed—he was surprised that Axel was being so nice as not to tell Larxene to give him a good smack. When he got the scar on his lip, that man had said she should, then gave her a five for a "lousy time" and muttered about having to deal with kids at home and didn't want them around here.

Axel stared straight at him for a second, and he felt his heart skip. That wasn't supposed to happen when he looked at one of his sister's clients. "Is this who I think it is, Larz?"

"Axel, I can make him go back to his room. I swear, please. Just ignore him. He won't say nothing. He ain't all there. Funny in the head and a total retard—the whole bit, remember? Once you told him the whole damn sky was falling just so he'd run for cover."

He wished he didn't remember that. He'd run straight into Axel's arms. Axel had held him. Protected him. It had felt nice, until Larxene told them to stop and gave Axel a dirty look.

Larxene got off of the guy and hooked her bra in the back. She looked like she was going to cry or hit something. Or both. The Axel guy zipped up his pants but didn't bother to fix his shirt or get up or nothing.

"What's your name, kid?"

It was weird. The guy was talking to him.

"Roxas."

"Well my name's Axel."

"I know."

That made Axel laugh. Roxas couldn't help but smile when he laughed. It was a big loud one, it didn't sound mean or nothing like Larxene's did. Larxene was looking at him like she was gonna have smoke come out of her nose any minute now. His smile fell.

"We used to be friends...."

Axel's laughed turned into just a smile. It was a nice smile. Not like the one he got from men when they see him after they're all done with Larxene and about to leave. Roxas would always started crying after a man gave him a smile like that. They weren't friendly smiles. They were nasty smiles.

" That's right. We'd hang together when we were younger, huh? Is there something you wanted, Roxas?"

Axel said it real nice and smiley, and not slow like he was stupid.

"I just… I thought…"

"He's a little pervert. I need to fucking sell him to an orphanage. They're dying for little retards these days. Stupid fucks love adopting retards. Think it's the shit or something."

Larxene's words hurt almost as much as his lip. He was fifteen. He didn't want to go to no orphanage. He didn't like listening to his sister and her clients. He was just making sure she was okay.

"Larxene, the bitch in you is showing. Shut the fuck up."

Axel turned back to him, and actually stood up and came to the door. He took a careful step backwards. There was a memory somewhere in his head, and it made his eyes sting and his lower belly ach all funny. He remembers a man with silver hair coming towards him. He remembers the man saying he'd pay Larxene double—no triple. He remembers Larxene giving him a pleading look, then saying sure. Then all he remembered were two big cold hands that didn't feel right on his body.

He was running away from Axel before he knew where he could run to in this crumby motel.

Larxene started screaming after him, but she wasn't decent enough to go out. Not when it was bright outside. He knew that it wasn't a good idea for a girl like Larxene to walk out all exposed when people could see her for what she was.

He was fifteen, after all.

There was the sound of someone coming after him. He could hear the thuds of their footsteps, but it didn't seem like they needed to breathe. It was weird. But he kept running. They couldn't catch him, even if they didn't need to breathe. He didn't either. He could fly when he felt like it.

Larxene once found him across town at the store that sold second hand bicycles. He'd told her that he'd run all the way there if she'd buy him one. She said she'd like to see him try. So he ran, and waited for her to come and buy him one. Instead she swore at him and called him a retard and brought him back to the motel. But he'd done it. He'd ran so fast that he wasn't sure if people saw him.

There was no way he could be caught.

Then he was at the bridge. It was a little footbridge over the shallow creek that cut through town. It used to be a full fledge river once. But then they built a dam two towns over, and the thing shrank and a few scrawny trees started growing up in the old riverbed. But there was a creek still, called Shallow's Edge Creek. It was rocky and stuff on the bottom, not with those pretty smooth pebbles though. With big spiky boulders. He used to shiver at the thought of how much they'd hurt to step on, or fall on from the bridge.

Right then he decided he'd rather feel them than those cold hands that were touching him all over again.

He stopped at the bridge, at the little fence that separated it from the drop that must have been a hundred feet down into the gully with Shallow Edge Creek gurgling along at the bottom. Then, because he didn't know what else to do now that he'd stopped running, and because he thought of the feeling of those spiky rocks being so much nicer than the feeling of cold fingers that he stepped over the fence and held on with his arms behind his back and his whole body leaning forward.

No one was around, even though it was light outside.

That's when the thuds of footsteps filled his ears, but the person wasn't breathing again.

"Roxas."

It was the Axel guy.

"I thought you were hurting her!"

The words fell out of his mouth like big rocks thrown over the ledge.

"I wasn't hurting her Roxas, I'd never want to hurt Larxene. Larxene's my friend… now why don't you come off that ledge, huh?"

He shook his head hard; it almost made him loose his balance and one of his hands let go for a second. The Axel guy swore but Roxas held back on fast. He heard him give a small whistle of relief.

"She's not your friend! She's your whore!"

Axel kinda paused when he said that. Then he gave a real wry smile. The kind that's really a stab at the person who's smiling it. Like by smiling they're wedging a knife between their ribs cause they'd been so stupid.

"I've known your sister before she decided she'd sleep with guys to get money, Roxas. You know that. Today was kinda a mistake."

"No! No mistake! You were gonna… You were! You're just like… Like all of 'em! All of 'em!"

"Yeah. I probably am. Only you know what makes me different?"

He didn't say nothing. He didn't want to know what made this Axel guy different. He didn't want to hear it. But Axel said it anyways. Just like he knew he would.

"I didn't set out to sleep with your sister, all right? I was there to help you guys. I've known your sister since she was your age. I came to see if she needed some help. I'd heard about her, and I didn't want her doing this for the rest of her life. I didn't even know about you living with her still… I want to help you though. Both of you."

"'Course you didn't know about me. No one knows about me! No one's supposed to know. I'm not supposed to see what happens. I'm not supposed to make sure she's not hurt. I'm not supposed to go to school. I'm too dumb. I'm not supposed to tell anyone sometimes Larxene hits me. That sometimes she'll drink till she passes out and I have to make sure she's on her side for when she pukes in her sleep. I'm not supposed to ever mention the man with silver hair who came from me and not for her. I'm not supposed to exist."

He was fifteen. He was fifteen. He was fifteen.

"Roxas… please don't let go. Please. I want to help you. I like you, Roxas. I'm glad you exist. You keep Larxene safe; you're already taking care of her even if she doesn't know it. She needs you. I'll make sure she sees it. I promise. I'll make sure that man never comes again. Please just come off the ledge…"

"… You like boys. Why are you with Larxene like that?"

Axel took a minute to reply.

"You remember that, then? Yeah. I do. But I told you. Today was a mistake. Larxene was frustrated. She said she wanted to kiss me for telling her she could move in with me. She started to. It got out of hand."

"You're a filthy liar."

The words exploded out of his chest, and Axel stopped talking right away. Axel took a step further, and he let one hand go. He was skinny, but his one arm could hardly hold him up. Axel had this look on his face like he was gonna puke.

"You all lie. All of you."

"Roxas—"

"You wanna know something?"

It was Axel's turn not to say anything.

"Today's my birthday."

He was fifteen now. He could make his own choices. Larxene had. Axel had.

So he let go.

Alien tears will fill for him
Pity's long-broken ern,
For his mourners will be outcast men,
And outcasts always mourn.

- Epitaph of Oscar Wilde's gravestone