A/N

Wow. So I haven't written for over a year. For some reason, a very nice person sent me an inspiring review and all of a sudden, I felt the urge to write again! Thank you Namimakura! Your review made this chapter possible! I am determined to keep writing and finish this story. So please, anyone who actually likes this story or has some commentary to contribute, leave me some reviews. It's really the only thing that keeps me going, and it's kind of depressing when I get pretty much no reviews. Anyway, on with the story!
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Fragmentation

Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps few know their own strength. It is in men as in soils, where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of

It is a rare person who is unmoved by a first snowfall. I am no exception. Snow is like a wild magic; it draws us in close, stirs memories, and invokes emotion. It enchants even the most timid of person. To me, Shiro-chan was that wild snow. That's why I couldn't resist trying to help him, that's why I couldn't stop myself to coming to where he was. Snow casts a lifelong spell. I was enchanted by him. It's strange. Even when we first met, it was like it was meant to be. There was no hesitation between us. We understood that this wasn't something we could allow to pass by. From the moment I met him, my life turned from strange to stranger to just plain bizarre. Even though I knew my life could be changed by my split-second decision, even though I understood that things most likely wouldn't be the way they were before, I ached to take him home with me. And not even once did I ever regret that decision. Even when a deep darkness overtook him, even when he blasted me away with power in which I had never encountered, even when he covered our beautiful house with deadly layers of ice … I still believed! I still believed that no matter what happened, our connection could never cease. I still believed that the person that was always by my side would never cease to stay. But I know now that I was the one who may have driven him to the edge of madness. I was unable to understand his incredible suffering. I was unable to be there when he needed me most. It was my foolish way of living that allowed the darkness to overtake him.

Snow easily melts. It is fragile, yet strong and given the right conditions … unbreakable. When I look back on that day, the day when he blasted me away, I think, what a waste of potential! What strength he exerted that day in an unfortunate circumstance. He had grown that much and I had missed it! He had been that strong and I had ignored it! And yet there he was unable to hold himself back because of something he probably could have learned to control. His madness, his darkness … I understood at that moment. Those things that consumes everyone: fear, guilt, envy, anger … in the absence of any hope, they rage out of control. His beautiful light was forever changed and I knew that never would I meet the same child again. So I cried out, and much to my surprise, so did he. I think that at least, for a moment, just that one small moment in time, we understood completely. We can't go back. I wanted my friend back ever so desperately and I knew it was a wish that could never be granted.

I felt such sorrow at that thought. Yes, of course I would miss the child I knew and loved but I felt much more loss than that. I couldn't help but think that if his spirit drifted far away and left this land, I would also. The magic of his presence changed me completely. It's not that surprising, of course. But the prospect frightened me. Am I still "me" without him? When did I change so drastically that the "me" of only a few years ago is such a different person than the "me" of the present? When did so many parts of ourselves become so intertwined that they would be indistinguishable as separate? How does it come to be that I see myself as a reflection of him? Where do I stop and where does he begin? What part of me is without some influence from him? There is no part of me that is not directly connected to him. When a part of him dies, so also does a part of me. Momo does not exist independently of Shiro-chan. Because of this … I know the beauty of his soul. The person I met in the back of a dark alley was no different to me than the person whom I wanted to somehow reach that day. His heart was in chaos, yes, his spirit had a dark shadow cast over it, quite true, and he was physically and mentally different, of course, but his soul, his heart, the deepest parts of himself-to me, they were just as beautiful as they ever were. I knew that even if he changed, even if he became another person entirely, this beauty would always remain part of him. I felt that it was something that not even the darkest of shadows could ever touch. And I wanted, so desperately, at that moment, on that fateful day, to be by his side once more. If nothing else, but to tell him that I would always see that undeniable light in him and that I knew that the memory of it would always shine bright in me as I witnessed it in him.

So, on that day, I lost myself in his spell. I followed him. Into the white abyss of his anger, his fear, his guilt, every dark part of his heart. I followed it until surrounded by a blinding white light, my body completely numb of feeling, my heart dead-set on reaching him. I took every painful step that it took to reach that door of ice and as my body was collapsing from the physical attack it was enduring, I swear that I felt him through that barrier. I felt him in a way that I had never felt him before. It was … indescribable. I felt his spirit somehow reach me. And I was changed forever that day. That split-second before I lost consciousness, I felt such warmth inside my heart, and I saw him for the first time not as my friend, the child I had grown up with, but I saw someone with barriers of ice and eyes that could burn through steel. I saw a stranger … and yet, I felt at peace.

Perhaps snow comes to us not only to reveal the beauty of the second of creation, but to teach us that all beauty is fleeting and must soon fade away. But I know that even though the beauty of snow is effervescent, it fades but come to again. I know that the spell is not broken. We were both changed and even though I saw a stranger staring at me that moment, I knew that we would meet again. His beauty would not fade away. And just the thought of that brought me incredible peace. We can't change the past, but I knew we would be given a second chance to get things right. Not as Shiro-chan and Momo, but as Hinamori and Hitsugaya. And that would be enough.

I woke up in a foreign place, surrounded by foreign things and foreign people, in the deathly white room of a hospital. I also came to realize within a fraction of a second that some possibly catastrophic change had taken place. It was like waking up in someone else's skin. I had never in my life felt so alive. I felt everything and everyone around me. I felt every spark of life, every shred of emotion … everything. I woke up to a whole new world. This was the gift that he had shared with me. It was later explained to me that his powerful spirit had flowed into mine. But at that moment, all I knew was that I now had the ability to understand him, I now had the ability to be part of his world. But before I could express any surprise over these changes, I was surrounded by people. I was told that I had slept for an entire month, that I had nearly died, and that I was lucky to be alive. And my friend, the one who had nearly killed everyone, was nowhere to be found.

They all said: "You're lucky to be alive". What could I say to that? It wasn't luck to me. It was grace. I was once again saved by him. Once again wrapped up in his beautiful light and given a gift. But the gift this time was much different. It wasn't the gift of his presence, but the gift of his soul to be ever present within myself. And despite this incredible offering, I was devastated. I had spent the last few years, which I still considered to be the best in my life, in the presence of my friend. And now, I just felt an aching whole in my heart. I wanted him by my side. I wanted to reach him that day. But I failed. I felt … empty. Like the wind had knocked something incredibly important out of my spirit. And all I could do was cry for him. For him and for myself, for the unsure future that lay ahead for us. And for his suffering which I was certain was overtaking him in both body and mind. After all, I knew him better than anyone else. And I knew, without a doubt, that he would never intentionally cause his family pain or suffering. He was the kind of person to punish himself for doing such a thing. I was certain that it was now that he felt the depths of despair, that he was completely without hope of any kind. And I knew that the society which we lived in would never forgive his act of violence, no matter what the reason.

Despite the fact that he saved me and that he had not killed anyone, he had still nearly demolished the place in which we lived and displayed a power that was not insignificant in measure. He was considered by Sereitai to be dangerous and on the run. It finally occurred to me that these people did not help me out of the goodness of their hearts, but out of a need of vengeance on my behalf. They helped me in hopes that I would help them find and destroy him.

Help these people punish my beloved, I would not. Escape I would. I was determined to find him, restore the smile to his face, and return hope to his spirit.